What to do when he takes it to far, and then?

To make a long story short the guy I'm dating and I had a little disagreement, he felt like I was trying to start an argument and I simply just wanted my question answered. I basically asked him about a female, who seems a little too friendly well they both seem a little too friendly with each other. Yes, I could be overthinking or me being a little insecure but it's only because he makes me even though that's not an excuse. Once I noticed I wasn't getting the answers I wanted I dropped the situation trying to be the bigger person. That Friday was my birthday, and he didn't acknowledge me or wished me a happy birthday of came to my dinner like he said he was. I didn't want to let that effect my birthday but I was deeply hurt.

The next day I couldn't resist on reaching out to see why. The reason why he didn't call or anything was for the simple fact he felt like me questioning him prior was my way of not wanting him celebrating my birthday (total bullshit of an excuse) he then proceeds to admitting that that was it cool of him at all and he was just being stubborn and how he's sorry and willing to make it up to me whenever I'm ready. I never responded to him because I'm very hurt like extremely. Two days passed and I finally responded and basically told him that was very spiteful of him and I feel like doesn't respect, appreciate, or care/love me because if he did that wouldn't have happened. I feel like he takes me for granted as well and I let him know all of this.

He then told me that he just felt like I didn't want him apart of the plans and how sorry he is. I called him pretty much telling him I need space. We've been dealing with each other for a little over three years. He recently lost his business so he blames every wrong doing of his actions because "he's going through somethings" granted I know that's probably a lot on his plate since he was the provider for his mother and young siblings but I just feel like birthdays come around once


Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand how two people being friendly can be a cause for concern. I might even feel that way too.
    No matter what, a man should not skip his S. O.'s B-day cause of an argument they had. The fact that he thought you started that fight for this reason, sounds more like a cop-out and he couldn't say the real answer.
    I would agree that he isn't respecting you in this situation. A person who deserves to be with you would have made an effort to make up BEFORE your party.
    I don't think it's right for him to blame how he treats you on losing his business.

    I have to agree. He didn't handle this the right way and especially knowing you have been together for 3 years this could be considered a red flag to some people.


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What Guys Said 3

  • In a relationship both parties need to give 100% obviously. I'm assuming all you know is "he's going through somethings". Tell him, "I know you're going through some tough stuff right now but please communicate those things to me so I can do my best to help you with them." Ask him what those things are and ask him to tell you what you're doing that is bugging him if you are in fact bugging him. Intentionally doing mean things because you asked about a girl is not mature. However, if you have continuously bugged him about this question after he has continuously answered "no, there's nothing between us" then he has a good reason to be kind of annoyed.

  • He does indeed take you fro granted. But then again a business failing can indeed very easily affect him negatively. It's up to you to choose whether you continue on putting up with that kind of cold treatment or if you move on.

  • Put your self in his shoes...


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