I am seeing a guy who doesn't want to commit, or does he?

He's 26 by the way. So I started out as friends with this guy and he had gotten out of a relationship a month before we started to hangout. He had been with his ex for almost 2 years and we became really good friends by talking about our exes and he told me about how much he loves this girl still but he doesn't know if he'll ever get her back because her family didn't like him and she'll always pick her family over him. So I was fine being just friends at first, for maybe a week we were just friends hahahha and then he started taking me out to dinners and we'd watch the stars on the beach and listen to music. Things started to esqulade and I had told him I'd never been kissed. He still doesn't kiss me. But he'll touch my body and cuddle me, not quite sexual or anything yet. Three weeks of it getting more and more heated between us, and then one day when I had a little too much to drink he tells me he doesn't want a realationship. I was very upset and cried, I was drunk and emotional and it as embaressing. He told me he didn't kiss me because he didn't want a relationship. So I say we're just friends h, we go to the beach the next day. And stupid me, intiatiates some stuff. Still no kiss. At this point I had a trip I had been planning on going on for a while with my sister to NYC, and I go on it after we have another kinda breakup thing I don't know, and I come back in a week, I see him and he says he missed me, and less than a week later he kisses me. I am so confused but I don't say anything, we kiss a lot and start doing more. He started to treat me a little different, to hold my hand in public or take pictures with me and do all these dating like things. And two months later we go all the way. Now it's 5 months since we started "dating" and I'm still confused. We hangout every night and whenever he has a day off. im starting to fall for him, and I don't want to get hurt if he is just a friends with benefits, should I ask him what we are? Need advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think in the beginning, he knew he still liked his ex... and that is just not a good way to start a relationship with someone. I think it was very honorable of him not to kiss you during this time. But that was 5 months ago. To me it appears that he is completely enjoying your company and is not spending time with anyone else... I would expect that you are in a relationship. If you need clarity... ask him... after all, you knock boots with him, you should be comfortable asking him that one question...


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds to me like you're in a relationship now. I would definitely talk to him about all this, especially if you're having all your firsts with him. That's a big emotional step for a person, to share all these things. I hope it works out. He may not be the one you marry, but it would at least be nice to know you're in a committed relationship, and that you're not just his FB. If I'm sharing all these things with a woman, I definitely am in a relationship with her. Different people have different feelings about things though, so talk to him about it directly, and have a friend on hand to cry to if he breaks your heart darling. Good luck.


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