As a guy, I feel I shouldn't be obligated to pay. However, as a guy, I will most likely feel the want to pay out of a sign of courtesy... much like holding a door open for someone else or opening the car door for a date. It is a sign of respect in my opinion. Respect isn't free to everyone though. If the date was rude and just overall a mean person to be around, chances are I'm not gonna be paying a meal for them.
If I pay, it will be myself wanting to do it out of a thanks for the date. (If they would feel uncomfortable about me paying for them I would naturally let them pay, but I'd still offer).
After a certain point in a relationship (when it starts to really something more) however, I would believe it would become more so as a turn based system so the guy isn't just paying over and over.
Fuck that. Id rather be dingle than date a girl who thinks like that. I shouldn't have to pay for the priveledge of her company just because Im a guy. Either she's interested in getting to know me or she isn't. If she wants a free meal she can find someone else.
Its really funny too because I bet a lot of the girls who expect the guy to pay for all the dates have spread their legs for guys they just met at clubs and parties who didn't spend a dime on them. Id hate to be the guy who is always paying for dates and waiting a month for sex only to find she slept with random guys at the club after only knowing them for a few hours.
Meh I personally like to pay, but I think being expected to is unbecoming and I know it's not an attitude anyone I would date or have dated has had. Mainly because it's a selfish attitude to expect these things.
1) This is Steve Harvey's show. Steve Harvey is a white knight that loves to pander to insecure women. 2) The audience is filled with losers. These are women who have failed in relationships and go to him for help, just to hear him say "You are right, the guy was an asshole, you deserve better, you're awesome"
3) I'll pick up the bill only if she proves that she has earned my respect. I'm not cheap but I see spending money on someone as a sign of having a connection with someone. I would not pay or loan money to just anyone. That person must prove to me that they're worth it.
"Guys need to man up and pick up the bill !!!" Nope, guys are men whether anyone likes it or not.
Men work for their money, same do women. Why should one pay for the other? I'm a firm believer of 50/50 being the default option. If I feel like taking the girl for a treat, then I'll pick up the bill and not expect anything in return. But a girl that expects me to pay the bill might as well go find someone else.
So consider the hypothetical scenario of a man who's trying to find a wife. He will keep taking all these girls on dates until he finds one that he wants to have a serious relationship with. By the time he finds the suitable girl, how much would he have paid by then sorting through the other girls? That's just a waste of hard earned money. Each person should pay for his/herself.
Oh the term "man up." Picking up the check is "being a man" I see. If you care about her, you'll foot all the bills. Love is money. Alright
This is where MGTOW comes from. This is also where the spoiled, entitled brats come from. I've heard one too many times from women that "If he doesn't spoil you, he doesn't want you." Screw that. If you love me, you wouldn't want me blazing all my money on shoes, purses and bullshit
Women want traditional values only when it benefits them.
What the hell do WOMEN bring to the table?
I've payed for every bill on our dates with my girlfriend. We just haven't been out on a lot of them. If she expects more dates, she's about to start pitching in
I think they should, but I'm from a different era. Women have made it clear they want to be equals, so why not share expenses? Women only want equality when it benefits them, everywhere else they want special treatment. Feminine imperative.
and also 93% of them are probably for equality between men and women. while there are some natural differences between men and women we have to take care off, paying the bill on the first date isn't part of that. that makes 93% of them hypocrites
Nope nope. Women have wanted men to share benefits in everything except dating. How selfish is that?
As long as they believe in ALL traditional roles including the womens roles then it's fine. At least they're consistent with their belief system which I can respect even if I disagree with it. It's the feminists that want men to pay that I hate because they want equality when it suits them but then are totally cool with 1950s standards when it works in their favor. It's hypocritical and nothing on this planet is as pathetic as a hypocrite
That's ridiculous. You realize that this tradition came from a time when women were not even legally able to work, and so were basically dependent on their husband to be the main/sole breadwinner, yeah?
I enjoy when my boyfriend picks up the bill on special occasions like my birthday/anniversaries, but I'd otherwise prefer to pay for myself. We have similar incomes and expenses, so I'm not going to believe that there should be equality between men and women, yet demand that he pay for my meal despite my being equally capable of that.
I'm not sexist, so I do not believe in "being a man and paying the check." Ha... I'm sorry, do penises spit out money or did I miss some kind of memo?
If you are an adult, independent woman, you should be mature enough to not assume gender of all things (whatever happened to the equality movement?) suggest that you are obligated to abide by social norms that have no logic. Anybody who values equality and themselves will not use that excuse.
Now, if a guy insists, that's fine, but don't run around saying: "I got a pussy, pay for my shit!" Because it's old, it's immature, and it's sexist and unbecoming.
That's all I have to say on this ridiculous subject.
Split the check. First of all, I don't understand why men have to pay? Yes its gentleman like but shouldn't women return the kindness and manners? Its also super cliche and traditional and I think its time to break tradition a bit. Mix things up. I think the girl and the boy should have equal privileges and splitting the check meets those needs. But I find it wonderful for a guy to insist upon paying for it, i'd give him a hard time about it and say "No, I refuse, lets just pay together!". I might even do the same, but if the guy is rude and goes to the bathroom while the check is coming or quickly accepts my offer to pay without giving it a thought or hesitating, the second date will NOT come, and i'd expect guys to have the same mindset if a woman accept as rudely.
I do like for a guy to pay for most of the date. Mainly because the guys I usually date have jobs and I'm a student. I don't have much money and he did invite me out after all. Also, I feel like if he really wanted to impress me he'd pay, so there's that aspect too. Usually when I go on dates he will pay for the meal or activity and I'll try and make up for it and pay for his drinks or something. It's sort of meeting halfway
No way. On today's economy, it is rude and selfish to expect a nnan to pick up the tab, especially if you aren't exclusive yet. You're both potentially dating others, how is it fair? I either pay half outright or pay for drinks or whatever after dinner.
In a relationship, we have turns. It's his turn next time :)
I don't agree. I think whomever asks to go on the date should pay, and that person doesn't always need to be the guy. My boyfriend and I usually alternate because we're both students with part-time jobs and can't afford very much.
It depends... Did he say, "I want to take you out to dinner?" In that case, he did the asking and should pay. If he said, "Do you want to meet at Joe's Diner before the movie," then it should be Dutch. If she said, "Do you want to go to the Beer Fest with me," she should pay for the tix.
For me personally, it varies. I find the first couple of dates the guy likes to pay and gets upset if I offer to pay for myself. The one relationship I've been in once the honeymoon phase wore off he'd pay for one date/dinner/whatever you I'd pay for the next. So we'd alternate and it was fair. I found it worked quite well, seeing as neither of us had tons of money.