Boyfriend controlling need some advice please?

Been with boyfriend for a few years now and basically on snapchat he has banned me from using the chat box for it and sending pictures to my girl mates (i only have girl mates on it as he has already banned me for communicating with any male and my old bestfriend) he accuses me of cheating on him because i have general conversations about university and placements in snapchat chat... he controls who i'm friends with, what i use, what my facebook/snapchat/instagram and whatsapp profiles look llike and has banned me from posting any selfies unless they have him in it and not posting pics of me nd my friends as i look like a whore doing so. its easy to say dump him but he threats and black mails me and as i do nursing he could easily ruin my career.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to make a plan to get away from him. He will kill you if you stay. You already know that he doesn't respect you or your independence.

    My advice is to drop out of university and leave town. Go to a women's shelter. Get the law involved. You don't have any ties to anyone because he pushed them all away, right? So you have nothing holding ypu back anymore.

    Get out if you want to live. You can reapply to university - they are generally very understanding about domestic violence.


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  • I would say end it with him and take the consequences. Or stop letting him boss you about, tell him he has no right to be like this and has no right to tell you what to do. Show him you are not scared of him. Keep a record of the threats, and go to the police about it, he's breaking the law by making threats. Could you transfer to another university, or take a placement some way away? Could you take a post away from him once you're qualified?

    • i can't transfer uni and he says he has the right to boss me about cause i lied to him about being best mates still with my friend amber who he doesn't like and banned me for talking or seeing. I literally want to kill myself some times the way he treats me.. mental and physical abuse

    • He doesn't have the right. Stop letting him push you around. Tell your course tutor and ask for help, I've worked in a uni and they can offer all sorts of support. Do things he doesn't like anyway, you are showing weakness by complying. But this situation is far more common with students than you think. Could you steal his phone/laptop and delete the evidence? Or drop them in water and wreck them? Can you find any dirt to blackmail him with?

    • last time i took his phone he nearly choked me to death.. then said i deserved it

  • How will he possibly ruin your career? What have you done that could risk that?

    Either way you need to get away from him, as soon as possible. Somewhere safe.

    • he threatens to post indecent pictures and send them to my uni... with nursing anything that looks bad of you or the uni you will be kicked of the course..

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    • Google Women's refuge or speak to your parents. Don't make excuses for not acting. Find ways to get around the issues and get away, otherwise what else will you do? Stay? This will only get worse... there's no fixing him from this situation. You can't do that.

    • Also, your friends will help. Contact them. They will help. It's incredibly easy to set up an email account he doesn't know about to contact them with. Do it at college. They will help.

  • dump his controlling ass. Trust me, you dont need him. He would become worse and worse and do not be scared of him. If he tries to threat you, call cops on him and tell your parents. They need to be involved

    • I am a hindu and if my family found out i was dating him they would disown me full stop..

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    • don't care about him. wherever he is from, he can not do anything if you live in the US. You be strong and tell him if he wants to mess around with you, you would throw his ass in the jail. Dont stay with him. You are not his slave.