Went to a bar yesterday and got rejected 6 times. Should I just give up?

I tried to go to a bar yesterday to meet girls. Tried talking to 6 different girls and they all rejected me. One of them even yelled at me to go away and leave her alone.
After 6 rejections I felt I couldn't take anymore so I just sat at the bar by myself and drank a couple beers watching TV.

Should I just give up trying? I feel like I should just lay down and rot

Updates:
When I talk to them I just say
"Hi my name is Mario, what's your name?"
Then I just make normal conversation like
"Do you come here often? Do you like the music here? I know the DJ and can tell him to play a song for you."

Just whatever comes to mind really I'm not very direct in my approach

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally I quite like talking a lot first, even for a one night stand I'd want to trust the guy first, and you can't really talk normally at a bar since it's usually loud and noisy. Any guys who come up to me at a bar I tend to reject VERY quickly, sometimes I might talk a bit for the confidence boost but I wouldn't trust him. Worst of all I always doubt my own judgement cos of course I'm drunk. RJGraveyTrain is right, a bar isn't a great place to pick up girls - it definitely isn't you, it's the setting.
    Have you tried online? Tinder, Plenty of Fish etc.

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    • No I haven't tried online. I feel if I can't meet girls in real life then I'm probably too ugly for online dating since they're more likely to judge superficially online.

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    • 5'7" is not short! I'm 5'5" so if I found a 5'7" guy I liked I'd be quite happy! I'm glad their being honest with you though - try everything with little to no expectations and someone will come along. If you are confident enough there are those dating events as well. I think it's about giving yourself as many different avenues to meet girls as you can.

    • what a bunch of bull shit, tinder is a complete NO until and unless u dont have pics where u look like brad pitt i am serious, everybody is left swiped and 5 guys have 500 matches thats how tinder works.

      and 5'7'' is short, get elevator shoes, become 5'9'' noone will notice a couple of inches as such but it will subconsciously make a lot of difference in how people see you

What Girls Said 13

  • Listen, bars are no longer great places to meet girls unless you're kind of the studs.

    I know from my bar experiences that I, along with most girls, are quick to rebut bar guys because bar guys 9 times out of 10 want one thing: drunken sex or to harass the shit out of you when you are just there to hang out with your friends. It likely has less to do with you than you realize.

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  • You're free to do whatever you want. But you haven't even tried different techniques so I would consider it a waste to not even try other things. Meeting someone through friends or social activities (courses/hobbies) is a better idea than just trying to look for someone at a bar or in a club.

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  • No, don't give up. It takes practice. People are always gonna get rejected simply because people are different, & there's no sure-fire way of getting someone to want to talk to you.

    Since you had people yelling at you (ouch!) I'd say you need to work on your people-skills in general (including men, & women you aren't attracted to) & THEN work on flirting, because I'm guessing you don't understand things like body language & subtle-ness yet.

    Also, keep in mind that some people are just rude as hell & there's nothing you can do about that. Just brush it off & don't internalize it or blame yourself.

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    • Why are you lying to him. I bet you or any women/girl here could last
      a day as a guy.

    • @Touglyforfemales I am a "guy" basically all the time so yes, you would win that bet. Lol

  • If someone is yelling at you your doing it wrong

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    • Lol this

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    • Well what I'm a supposed to do? I just try to make normal conversation. I'm not harassing anybody.

    • @DBAOracle I know people can be rude but there are usually very clear signs girl want you to go away.

  • Some girls are just mean. You really can't take it personally. I think what you did is fine, Your introduction. But maybe just settle in at the bar ad start chatting with who's next to you then branch out firm there after you've made acquaintances.

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  • Maybe you could meet a girl somewhere besides a bar. They might have assumed you had bad intentions based on where you were trying to flirt with them. Also, if you're super nice and act like a gentleman (I'm not saying that you don't already.), girls are less likely to reject you and more likely to be nice about it if they do. You could try meeting a girl somewhere that would imply common interests, like a book club or a dog park or a gym? I don't know, though. I've never been a guy lol.

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  • Hey!
    That really sucks.. and reading what you say to them is not bad at all. Its actually nice. But some girls just are bi*ches and live to see others in pain. Sorry that you got rejected so many times. Maybe they weren't looking for anything? Its probably not your fault. Try another bar next time! Or even better keep trying... this is where all the good stories come from.
    Best of luck my friend !

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  • reflect upon yourself, and be brutal about this. fix whatever happens to be the problem. but if it's shallow things like looks, money... etc then just wait for the right person

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  • When a girl is asked at a bar by a guy their first reaction is that this guy wants to fuck them then never see them again so... bars are not the best place to WOO girls

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    • But that no excuse for them to be a bitch to him.

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    • Bar IS the best place to meet girls. I found all one night stands at bars. When I talk to girls at bar, their first reaction is "what a cute lad that can fulfill my need"

    • @Bananadream I wouldn't DO THAT I am still underage to go to a FUCKING bar ok... I am not 18 yet so... even when I am I WOULDN'T DO THAT becuase that's mean and I am not like that. And i dont care if you think I would, I know I wouldn't !!!

  • You sound like you're too direct, as in awkward. You need to be more subtle and invest more attention to her rather than yourself.

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    • No I'm a pretty normal person. I think I'm just ugly

    • My point is make the conversation more personal. If she's having an appetizer ask if she likes it, for example. If she's watching the game on the tv, talk about the game. Look for clues to her personality rather than just giving a general pickup line.

  • Awww no, don't give up! Those girls were nasty don't pay attention to them you'll find a great girl someday. 😊

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  • Yeah time to just give up

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  • what do you tell them? how do you talk to them? maybe you should get a wingman.

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    • I just tell them my name and ask them for theirs. Then I try to make normal conversation or try to ask them something about them.

What Guys Said 16

  • At a bar most women think all the guys just want to get laid. If you are looking for a relationship and you do see a girl that you like at a bar you have to play your game differently to the hundreds of other guys who do the same thing with that girl. If you do just want to get laid you can apply these principles im going to explain as well.

    So going up and saying what you did made it appear that you are just another guy in the bunch.

    First mistake you did is you just cold approached her. You didn't get her attention beforehand to see whether she like you or not. When you see a girl just wait til she sees you and smile or wave or something to get her attention. You are at a safe distance so she doesn't feel threatened and you will get a reaction to tell whether approaching her is even worth it. If she responds positively by waving back or smiling or acting shy but blushing. Then these are good signs that she will be open to talking to you. If she looks away or acts disinterested then its not worth approaching and wasting your time. Sure this might be a rejection but it won't feel as bad since how bad can it be. She just looks away and that doesn't hurt much and you just move on to another girl.

    So if it does go well you can flirt from a distance or approach her slowly and start a convo. She will be much more responsive this time and actually talk to you.

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  • You got knocked back 6 times in the same pub? Are you stupid. you never approach a girl in front of one who just fucked you off. And you did it 6 times. Women are simple. If 1 turns against you the whole lot will. They just follow each other like lemmings without thinking. They won't even know why they're ostracizing you they just go with the flow. Out of a hundred women you'll get maybe 8 that have their own mind, the rest just take their cue from the loudest in the room. Women have no self belief or self esteem, they look to others on how to behave and what face to pull. That's usually the loudest bitch in the room. Even if any girl liked you in that bar the fact that you were condemned by one meant the others thought it was proper to do the same so they don't stand out and get ridiculed. Mate you gotta learn women, they're pretty pathetic and easy to manipulate if you know how. It's rare you meet one with half a brain

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  • DONT GIVE UP, LEARN AND GO BACK DUDE.

    be cofident and have a relaxed friendly face... go up to a girl and say something like, "if you were my homework, id do you everyday"

    or "smile if you wanna go on a date"

    i think its your game. tbh. i just got back from a bar and 2 older women sorta showed interest and i ended up getting their numbers. bars are still great. these other comments are lying and lacking experience!!!

    bars and clubs are still a great place to meet people. dont listen to anyone ESPECIALLY FEMALES WHO TRY TO ADVISE YOU FOR FEMALES BENIFIT NOT YOURS.

    be a jerk and tame her and if she can't be tamed, leave. for 90 percent of women, if you dont tame them, they will literally enslave you. first is marriage then baby... they already own half of your life at this point and will use blackmail... they have you by the balls

    there are good women but apporach as if all are potentially bad.

    goood luck and dont give up you pussy!

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  • Your approach seems fine, if she is into you she will bite.
    When you get rejected you can ask her if she has any female friends who would be into me. It's good when others see u get rejected, because other girls would see that ur looking, and they would try to talk to u if they are also looking.
    Many times I got rejected and she had female friends and I started talking to them and found one who is into me.

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  • Yelled? You're probably doing it so, soo wrong lol

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  • Lol.. six. thats cute. But cudos for the effort.

    Next time you go, try the smoking pit too. Women are often more open to conversation there.

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    • I don't smoke

    • Most people in the pit dont call themselves smokers. Just go there to breath outside, get some quieter vibes and meet people (besides, girls rarly go to bars solo)
      Just a thought

  • Dood, your game needs serious help. Go read the first couple of years blog at The Rational Male. Get some help with PUA. All you're gonna get with that shtick is 'ew, creepy'.

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  • 7th is the lucky charm try a different approach.

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  • I'm gonna be 100% honest yes you should give up, first its 6
    next it could be 12, next thing you know its 50 and so forth.
    Women are shallow and only care about looks. I haven't spoken
    approach anyone since 2008 for this exact reason.

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  • Yeah I dont go to bars persoanlly any more but I could just reccomend about just keep it hassle free and down to earth and just take rejection in stride that helps me :)

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  • You had a couple beers - whats to complain about?

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  • That sucks man, just try again.

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  • You are doing something wrong if you're getting yelled at.

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  • Maybe you should know them a bit better? Personality matters a lot as well.

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  • Nah man keep hustling

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  • U've asked out...6 different chicks...

    As long as u did it... I don't give a crap whether u rejected or not... u have ma respect dude... I really respect guys who don't chicken out talkin' to a chick... it doesn't matter if u got rejected or not... as long as u did... bravo...

    Keep goin' on lie dat dude... one day u'll find a chick who's gonna say yes...

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