Should I consider dating this older guy?


So I haven't even already had a date with this guy yet but, to be honest, I am already worried.

He seems interested, eager to call and meet. I fidn him attractive, articulate and an interesting person. There is only one thing that I am worried about and it is the age gap and his "profile".
I do not know his age but he must be around 15 years older than me. That in itself shouldn't scare me but the thing is he's somewhat youthful, meaning he lives a bit like a young person. Though he has a job, he's very invested in music and other creative projects, though I am not the crative type myself, but this is not a problem. But I've been wondering why he's interested by someone younger (I am 26 by the way), I don't want it to be some sort of way to remain "young" through me..

So am I worried for nothing? or should I tread lightly?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've having trouble understanding how being invested in music and other creative projects is considered to be somewhat youthful. Older people like that kind of stuff, too. Maybe there's some chemistry there. If you are interested in each other, I think you are doing a disservice to yourself by worring about this. Yes, tread lightly, but at least give yourselves an opportunity to get to know each other better. And the older you get, a 15 year difference will seem less of a difference. Relationships with that age gap aren't all that uncommon.

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    • Yes well you're right, the music thing is irrelevant to this. I think I'm afraid because I don't know him very well and it really is hard for to develop a crush on someone that I don't know well..

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think as women, we are often way more concious about this than men. True that it could be that he is trying to remain "young" through you, but is that really the problem? Or are you really worried that when you get old he will leave you for a much younger, attractive gal? I don't blame you for thinking so far into the future. But few things you need to keep into account...

    1) You like the guy and are attracted to him, so why not give him a chance AND get to know him? However, don't get carried away or be fooled by his money and "luxury lifestyle" that he provides you that it makes you blind to other issues. So stay concious of that and remind yourself to remain humble!
    2) What kind of man is he? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be young... But what values does this man have? is he honest/faithful/kind? What values are you looking for in a partner and does this man meet them?
    3) What is it you are actually looking for and what is it HE is looking for? Why don't you just communicate that? ;)
    4) Ask him about his age, why he is still single, etc.

    In order to get all these answers, you will actually have to get to know the man... So don't cut him off just because of his age... He might be a really good one;)
    And hey, if he turns out to be what you're not looking for, at least you got the experience of dating an older man ;) always a good one! However, you won't know this unless you actually go out on a date with him ;) So stop being afraid and just go ahead and like Nike says, Do it!

    Have funnnnnn!!!
    My parents are 25 years apart and been together for x amounts of years, so, that should tell you enough. Good luck!

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    • You're right, I don't really know what I am afraid of, I think it is because despite my age I have near zero experience with men and it never really went well..
      Besides the fact that I spend a lot more time in another town complicates things. It's been a few months that' he's asked for my number now and he never asks for news, he simply told me to tell him when I'm in town and have free time. I have been really busy lately but I don't know, wouldn't someone try to chat a bit even by phone or text before a date occurs?
      But yes, you're right I don't know him very well... and should at least get to know him better.

    • Well, you have to keep in mind, anyone who is now above 30 years of age is not a phone freak like us 29 and under. And anyone above age 35 will barely text or "chat". They would rather call, and if he is in his 40's, then most likely will only meet face to face. So these are small things but big differences between the generations and you should be aware of that. Just remember that you're both living life from different times and getting to know one another - so don't judge and be open minded... How you deal and handle life is and will probably be totally different than what/how he does ;) having that said, have fun and enjoy yourself! :)

    • Also, realize that a way older man is also wayy more independent and values your independency as well.. him telling you " tell him when I'm in town and have free time" is showing he doesn't want to impose on you. Clearly he is attracted to you, wants to meet you, and when and if you are ready and interested, give him a call, he will make time for you... when YOU're ready.. You should see the good side of that rather than the negative. Who cares that you don't have experience? he will give you enough for allthat you haven't ;) haha

What Guys Said 7

  • It wouldn't hurt to go out and have fun, and fun, I dont mean have sex, if he is interesting and you are attracted to him, why not? But at any time during the meeting, if you are not feeling it, just say how you feel. If he is older, he will respect your wishes. Nothing wrong with being a friend, but he sounds like he might have other expectations. And communicate yours as well.

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    • Well yes I guess, communication is always the best advice

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    • do you think I should ask him on the first date? I really don't want him to feel self conscious about it..

    • Why are you protecting his emotions? He is a grown man, ask him.

  • I have had a few younger women show and interest in me and want to be with me. The way I see it is they are ok for friends or casual fun but not relationships. I say this for we are in different stages of life and eventually this will conflict

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    • what was the conflict about?

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    • I am going to take a look at it !

    • tell me what you think

  • Hard to say; some people look a lot older/younger than they are. I look about my age, but a guy I know who is about my age spent a lot of time incarcerated and looks about 15 years older than me.

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  • It's not like there are tons of single people his age running around.

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  • you're not wrong to be worried.

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  • yep, he has money ;)

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  • Well if you think he's attractive and you like his personality also you shouldn't really worry about age it shouldn't affect a relationship

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    • I know, but I am really afraid of him being interested just to maintain his youth through me on a subconscious level , not that I am immature or childish but well..

    • You shouldn't be afraid and stereotype him until you really know (:

What Girls Said 3

  • You are Way over the Age of Accountability and Old enough and Mature enough at '26,' to Choose who You would like to Date or Pick as even a Mate.
    Yes, 'Worried for nothing,' Let Mother Nature plant More seeds Already in your "Ready to Nurse and Nurture" ground that You will Need To... Tread lightly on so you Both can Begin a Beguine of Getting to Know one Another so Go Slow with Joe.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I'd go on a date/chat with him some more to really find out what he's like.

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  • Use him for his money jk

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