Why won't he approach?

Why won't he approach? So there's this small coffee shop that i go to and it's connected to this small cafe/kitchen. So once I was sitting down and I look up and see a guy staring at me who works in the cafe/kitchen. I was facing his sideview but his face was turned and looking at me and smiling while he was answering a phone call. His eyebrows were slightly raised. I came back a few weeks later to grab a coffee to-go. While I was waiting, I look up again and i see him talking to someone, but his entire body is facing me, he's smiling even bigger, and his eyebrows were raised even more. So my friend and I went a week after. When we were about to walk in, I saw him talking on his phone near the window. When he saw me, he smiled really big and his face lit up. So he works at the cafe/kitchen and those workers usually dont work the register at the cofee shop. When my friend was in line to buy a drink, he got off his phone quickly and ran to the register to ring her up. When we were sitting down, he kept staring at me. Like everywhere he walked he kept looking at me. When his shift ended, he looked at me one last time before he left. Last week I went alone and sat down to study for a few hours. It was busy there and he was walking around a lot. When I was ordering my drink, he came by to help the lady behind me and he stood in front of me and leaned forward but didn't say anything bc I was talking to the person making my drink. Today i went alone and everytime I looked up i would catch him looking at me and this happened several times. He even cleaned the table in front of me but didn't say anything. I stayed there for 3 hrs.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, he must be confused as well, look at his side:
    "Hmm, I found this really pretty lady who comes at the bar every week, she stares at me a lot, I thought she was sort of into me.. but I never had the oportunity to attend her. But when I smile at her, she never smiles back :( she just looks at me suspicious, I keep smiling, but she never hints me back. Should I take this as she is not interested? But if that's the case, why does she keep coming back?
    One day I was cleaning the table in front of her, I was really close, and leaned into her, but she didn't make a move, nor smiled... her whole body language tells me to stay away..

    So what do you think guys, should I approach her at the bar or not?"

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    • Does this help in any way, or am I making wrong assumptions here?

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    • With all that smiling, I'd say yes! No prob :P

      Let us know how it goes from now on :D

    • Hey buddy I have an update. So I went back today and I sat at the bar and studied. He came pretty near me a few times but didn't say anything. So I asked this one female worker standing near me what time they close. She was new and didn't know and so she asked him. He asked me if I was wondering how late I could stay and I said yes and he explained everything to me. The whole time he was smiling with eyebrows raised. Maybe looked a little nervous. Then an hr later when I was leaving, the girl said bye to me and when I turned around to say bye, I saw him talking to a guy but his whole body was facing me and looking at me and smiling.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Isn't this part of being friendly/their service thingy? bc this happes to me too i thought it's them trying to make u come more so they get credit for it and theyll get paid more... you know what i mean?
    When i go to a store.. some really hot guys would come to me asking if im doing okay, smile, show they like me,... Even in restaurants, cafe, etc.. so we tip them more
    did you know that some attractive people get tipped more than usual? i know huh
    We've talked about this b4 and some even hand their numbers to them.
    If i was out normally like in uni, school... guys won't approach me and talk to me and i know im not attractive.

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What Guys Said 10

  • It sounds like he's PROBABLY interested, though of course it would be impossible for anyone to tell just based on your typed out description of events.
    If I had to say though, it does sound like he's interested, but may be nervous to make the first move since he's working and you're a customer. However, it would be acceptable for YOU to make the first move, maybe ask him his name and introduce yourself, or something like that. Just initiate the conversation and see where it goes. But you should probably expect to make the first move since it would probably be frowned upon for employees to be hitting on customers while on the clock.
    The other way around though (customers hitting on employees) is acceptable and appropriate in my opinion.

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  • He doesn't know if you're interested. Why haven't you made a move? Never assume someone knows something that you think is obvious

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  • He's sending signals alright... that he would like to get to know you. but he's not making any moves... maintaining professionalism i guess. he is doing it in the most "stalkerish" way possible though.
    to keep it simple, wants to bang ya.

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  • Well either he finds you physically very attractive, appealing ( restricted to physical looks only) or indeed he likes you as a person on the whole.

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  • It sounds like he is interested in you and finds you attractive. He might be a bit shy on approaching you. You might want to see if you can engage him in conversation to see where he is coming from.

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    • Read the update :)

  • It's safe to assume he's attracted to you.

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  • Sound like he finds you attractive, did he or you talk?

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  • Displaying one's attraction for another every possible way, without being creepy, is often done so in this manner. Considering he isn't allowed to give out numbers at work, he's being obvious in the hopes you might slip him yours; a wise choice.

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  • He's working, I would never approach a customer as I work

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  • Do you think he's an attractive guy?

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    • yes I do!

    • Well he's probably just nervous that he'll say something wrong or thinking you'll get the wrong impression of him

What Girls Said 16

  • I understand but try not ro read too much into cuz what if it isn't true and he's bot interested? You'd be let down. I say jus talk to him and ask if he knows a good bowling alley or something stupid... if he has interests im sure he"ll reciprocate and might Eben offer to "text u" if he finds a spot. Trust me, I've learned the hard way thinking someone was interested and wasn't :/ And he did the same thing too like how u detailed. Another guy i thought was cute i started a conversation with him (and he worked at a coffee shop too! Lol) and asked him about a certain spot in which he suggested "well give me ur # and ill let u know when this place opens." Then he text me that eveming saying hi :)

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  • He seems nervous and shy and is waiting for you to make the first move. The next time that happens, talk to him first, just say "Hi how are you?" A simple "hello" and smile can go very far.

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  • I think so. but I don't know maybe he just begin friendly.

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  • You're probably giving the wrong vibes. If he senses that you're not interested or even irritated, he'll be much less likely to approach. He could also just be a shy person, or intimidated by you.

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  • Why not make the first move yourself?

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  • Want to know the sure fire way of finding out?

    Straight up ask him yourself. Instead of asking random people on the internet who know nothing about either of you.

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  • From the way you described it, he surely seemed interested. If you too are, maybe you can approach him and see how it goes.

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    • Read the update :)

    • He seems interested in you but maybe is quite nervous to ask you out, I guess you too like him, if yes, talk to him... you won't be disappointed 😊

  • He has to be nice because your a customer. But he seems interested. I think since you go there so much and he notices you, you should go up and introduce yourself. Flirt a little. Get his digits. Get to know him. It could work out. But for all you know he could be creepy or something. So you should have a friend with you or off to the side.

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  • He might like you but maybe is shy or something. I think you should make the first move, if you're kinda interested in him, so that he can be a bit at ease and open up to you. :)

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  • Him "looking at you" is subjective, it's not really a sign in my experience.

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    • www.whydoguys.com/why-do-guys-stare-at-girls/

      I'm pretty sure it means something, and I'm sure you've caught a guy staring before, and you thought he liked you, then he rejected you or something that's usually how the story goes. Don't need bitter and take it out on others. I asked a question like this today and about a few months ago and you gave a rude response like this. If you're tired of seeing signs like a guy, "looking at you", then just don't answer the question...

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    • @acctemporary you said you were getting tired and you were done and I said bye. Move on, I will not continue to answer to your little attacks.
      Ciao.

    • I hope you know that you sound like an absolute bitch. You're gonna go nowhere in life with that ugly ass attitude. And you can keep calling up you male associates or something and be the little ho you truly are 😊

  • I mean, he's obviously into but obviously doesn't have the balls to talk to you

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  • He's shy. Approach him and start a conversation yourself. Unless you don't want to..

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  • It sounds like he finds you attractive and is curious about you.

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  • He finds you very attractive or he's just annoying

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  • He was checking you out. He probably wants to get to know you better.

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  • He is a puppy

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