Guys complain about being expected to pay for things when following traditional dating practices and customs. How unfair it is! How awful!
But. . . I know there are two sides to every story, so what are your complaints about the traditional rules of dating? Waiting for a guy to ask you? Having guys think that you owe them something because they paid for a fancy dinner? Something else? Please elaborate with a funny or illustrative story if you have one to share!
Most Helpful Girl
This is a great question! I often hear guys on here complaining about how hard dating is on them. And while I agree that it isn't easy for them, and maybe they have to do a bit of the heavy lifting in the beginning, but us girls have our own set of challenges:
1. Dating is very hard on a girl who is not very attractive physically in the conventional sense. While looks is important for both sexes to attract the opposite gender, for men, being more visually inclined, looks is much higher on the priority list. It is much harder for an overweight girl for example to be found attractive by a man, than an overweight guy to a woman. Guys can make up for their lack of looks with wit, intelligence, confidence etc., but women to a lesser degree.
2. Needing to wait for the guy to ask you out. Now this is changing, but I think there is still an air of certainty around whether it is ok to do or not. In the Asian context at least, it is still considered pretty taboo. So it takes real guts for a girl to be able to do that. When a guy asks out a girl, he is only risking rejection. When a girl asks out a guy, she is risking rejection AND overcoming the social taboo...
3. On online dating, needing to sift through 10s of 1000s of messages, to find the good relevant matches - As a girl you are flooded with messages, winks or smiles or whatever from soooo many guys, many of whom clearly don't even bother to read your profile and just send a random 'hi.' You need to sift through all this to get to the genuine, well matched people. Not to mention you need to deal with the bad way many of them handle your rejection.
4. Guys looking for nothing beyond sex, but giving you the impression that they want something long term - I'm not sure if there are women out there who do this, but I suspect more men do. I have no issues with those men looking for hookups and being open about it. My beef is with men lying to you that they are interested in a Long term relationship and waste your time, and cause heartbreak.
5. Guys not approaching a beautiful or intelligent girl cos they think she is above their league or assume she is taken - Like me, many of these women don't care so much about looks and money, and are looking for some very specific qualities that you very well might possess. You wouldn't know if you didn't approach me, and leave me for all those players confident enough to approach me, cos all they are looking for is sex.4
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