Is this inappropriate for my boyfriend to do this?

I just started dating my boyfriend , maybe 2 weeks now. He set up plans to go to a concert with 5 friends and one of his ex girlfriends. There all getting one hotel room for 3 days. He said the plans were set up last year. I feel uncomfortable having his ex go. He said there just friends but he said I can't go since there all paid for and etc. Am I being to insecure? I don't like this idea. He said she would always be his first love. I just don't know what to think.

Updates:
Also I'll mention he admitted fingering her in October. But claims there just friends and he's over her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, two weeks... I'd take this as a bit of a warning. October isn't that long ago and he's still claiming she has some hold over him: her being his "first love". It sounds to me like he's telling you he still has feelings for her and he's trying to justify them.

    Between the five of them that room is going to be gross... can they seriously not get another room?

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    • Am I the only one who think it sounds like a John Le Carre novel?

      I mean "Fingering in October." Sequel due next year: "Five plus one."

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    • I think they might be right not too!

    • I'm with the parents on this one!!!

What Guys Said 3

  • With it being preplanned and prepaid for, those are legitimate reasons for him to go with her. I agree with you and I would be uncomfortable with her going. I guess all you can do is have some faith at this point.

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  • "He said she would always be his first love"

    Things were ok, until you mentioned this. Yeah, something is up. And things definitely aren't right.

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  • I sure wouldn't cancel something I planned for a year for a girl I met 2 weeks ago. Especially for a girl that doesn't trust me.

    It's been a mere 2 weeks. Thats why you don't trust. That's also why he doesn't wan to cancel.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I didn't think much of it until you said that "first love" thing.. then things weren't okay. I get that you're only dating for two weeks now, but he still has to respect your relationship, and him saying something like that is not okay. Maybe you should have a talk with him about his first love and try to find out whether there is still unresolved feelings and whether he'll ever go back to her. I understand that you'll always care for the person you had your first love experience with, I do, but that doesn't mean you have to tell your current partner they'll always be your first love, it is almost like he is saying that their relationship will always be superior to yours.

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  • I would never be okay with my boyfriend rooming with an ex of his, regardless of how many other people would be there with them or how long ago they planned it.

    This whole situation is a collection of red flags. You can't go because paying for an additional person/room is unheard of? She'll always be his first love?
    ... yeah. He should probably decide if he values you remaining as his current love more than rooming with who was his first love.

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  • Him saying you can't go is a red flag. Something is not right with that picture. Best thing to do is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he cares about you he will change something around. But, if he won't and dismiss your feelings over hers. Let him go. It's not worth it. An ex should never out weigh the feelings of the new one. Besides it's only been 2 weeks y'all don't have much invested no ways. Let go and move on if he doesn't respect your feelings.

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  • Talk to him about it and explain how you feel. Relationships are based so heavily on trust and respect of each other. If it's genuinely hurtful maybe suggest him to get a separate room. If he gets insanely defensive about it you guys might need to have a different talk.

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  • nope nope nope!! never let him with his ex

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