I'm too insecure to be with him?

I have shown some of the best traits of myself and I have a feeling he expects me to be super awesome, feminine and sensual when I'll open up more and fix myself from being so nervous and uncomfortable all the time... He can be really intimidating at times, like he crosses his arms if I'm not being interesting enough and checks the time whenever I get a bit nervous, I'm so afraid he'll find out all the more gross stuff about me and he'll be disappointed... I know he's not perfect either but he's said that people who never talk and are insecure are annoying to him, like, he doesn't even have to talk to those kind of people if it's annoying! Why is he talking to me if me being insecure and quiet bothers him so much, I have no idea, he makes it feel like it's my responsibility to be confident around him now that he wants to be in a casual relationship with me. I can't get over it so easily, I have no experience with guys and he seems to think something along the lines that I'll be really worth it, but he's going to be so disappointed, I'm sure.
Okay, so the real question I want answered is, how can I not give a damn what he thinks of me and my appearance? Also how can I make eye contact with him if he starts flirting with me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think what you really want is a guy who's understanding and supportive, not a dude who's judging all your insecurities and finding them annoying. Odds are he's talking to you because you're vulnerable and you want to please so you'll be easy to mold. But fuck it man, just keep trying to get over your insecurities on your own.

    • He tries his best to be supportive, but he just doesn't know how to do it. He's really happy when I can be confident. I do try my best but sometimes my insecurities tell me strange things. I figured that trying to date a guy would help me with my insecurities and also learn how to make conversation. I'll try to communicate more honestly again without fear of rejection, he's complained that I'm not affectionate enough so I think he also fears being rejected by me.

    • I think he's about that bullshit, but the only way you'll learn is through making mistakes.

Most Helpful Girl

  • don't be with him then, no one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself

    • He's not saying bad things about me, anyone would be annoyed by an insecure person. He's actually really nice but he's more of a listener so I understand why he's frustrated. He wants me to open up more but I get negative thoughts which are hard to fight.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Something in this makes me think he may not be the right guy for you. If he were the right guy you would feel safe and wonderful and accepted in his presence.

    • He tries his best to make me comfortable so I get why he's frustrated. I get insecure thoughts and they usually trigger nervousness, he's not the most confident guy himself either so he might not have the balls to just hug me, he doesn't know what to do when I get uncomfortable. I can't speak clearly when I'm nervous. It's not like he ever made fun of me, it's just all in my head but I don't know how to get over it.

  • start not giving a damn. you are a human and have value as such. he is from the same flesh and blood as you. behave to him like you are equals. cause you are.

    • yes that's exactly what I try to think to feel more confident 😊 I don't even know why I'm so afraid he'll hurt me because if he does, he won't be talking to the others in our friend group anymore if he did that.

What Girls Said 0

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