Guys, Would it be a deal breaker for you?

If you go on a date with a girl, and she is really nervous, quiet and shy kind of girl who needs at least 2 dates to open up with you, would you consider it a deal breaker?

  • Yes
    15% (5)
  • No
    85% (29)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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20

Most Helpful Guy

  • No and Yes.

    Would it mean I can't like her? Not at all. But in the dating world you expect very clear signals for going on a second date or pursuing anything beyond the first.
    So essentially, as a guy I'm used to getting the hints that I can take it a little further and typically rounding a first date off with a kiss and in the event there's not a kiss, then actually having settled on there being (not the date) a second date.

    So ultimately: Her being too shy to show her interest would be a dealbreaker since I would take it as disinterest.
    On another note being interesting enough for someone to invest their time in without showing them who you are? Must be a pretty girl.

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What Guys Said 19

  • If I know that she is deal shy or if I realize it on a blind date then I'll probably ask for another one. How every it would be easier and cheaper to just make a hangout date with her till she got to open up.

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    • Well, true. Doing some fun activities together CAN open someone up. :)

  • It is for me, I prefer someone who's more relaxed and confident socially.
    On a date like that, I'd feel like she's not interested and I'm wasting time trying to find things to talk about so we can connect.

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  • Ya shy doesn't work for me. It would just be difficult to connect and it'd be a struggle to be fun and adventurous.

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  • No I like shy girls. The problem is if you're too shy you might come off as bitchy, like if I'm trying to talk to you and you're not answering me I'm going to think that you're not interested. So as long as the guy knows you're interested and just shy you should be OK, at least with a guy like me Who likes shy girls

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    • Well that's my biggest fear. I think I come across too distant and aloof.

    • Show All
    • Ok I was disgusting during my teenage years. I didn't want any mirrors in my house and wanted to wear a paper bag over my head to school because I had such bad acne and just a weird round face, I'm serious I looked like some monster out of a science-fiction movie. Now I am much better... I'm just ugly , Not science-fiction movie monster ugly. But you, I'm sure you're actually really pretty now I'd love to see a picture of what you look like. Because you seem to me like the girls I look for, that actually most guys look for. When a girl is "hot" her whole life she she grows up as a bitch (usually) . But a girl like you who grew up with some trouble and is now very pretty is the perfect girl to be with, because you know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence.

    • If you want to continue this conversation you should PM me or something, maybe kick, I don't want to put all your business out there for people to see

  • It wouldn't be a deal breaker but it would probably not get past the first date as I'd be shy, nervous and quiet myself so there'd be awkward silence. I would also take her shyness (unless she told me she was) as uninterested in me. Guys go through these same feelings but we're "expected" not to or ignore them which is really unfair.

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  • Whenever I'm feeling insecure about something I always just blurt it out. So I'll be like, "I suck at dates I have no idea what to do" and she'll usually just laugh and end up feeling more comfortable. You should just say, "I'm shy". Honesty is the biggest aphrodisiac. Well, I'm off to take a shit now. Good luck.

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  • Wouldn't be a big deal to me I'd put in the time and patience to get to know her you never know she could be a great gal and you would have never even known.

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    • Sometimes you just have to have a little patience, after all all you give a little you get a little in return.

  • not a deal breaker at all... but how would i know that she likes me? i´d kind of assume, that she isn´t interested.

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  • It depends on the dates
    If I'm spending lots of money on dinner dates, I don't have time for games and what-ifs and maybes

    If it's something relatively casual like a coffee shop or bowling or something like that, then it's fine

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  • I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker but it would be a big dissapointment. I'd be like, is she not into me? She seems to be putting no effort

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    • Well if you have already interacted with her on a dating site, and if you know that she has a good personality and liked meeting you, but it's only due to nervousness of the first meeting that she's acting like that, would you still be disappointed?

  • id say no somtimes it takes longer. people get nervous. but again it depends on how she communicated. if she made it seem like she wasn't havin a good time or seem like she wast intl it at all... cud go qnother way.

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  • Is she didn't respond to a preposed 2nd date it would be.

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    • Well, that's kind of an ultimatum haha

  • Wouldn't be a deal breaker but yes could be quite off putting if she is too nervous and we're not able to have any fun conversation. But sometimes nervousness can be quite cute if she admits that she is just nervous

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    • I am such nervous person during first dates. I think I am repelling. :(

    • Probably it will help if you'll tell the guy that you are feeling a little bit nervous, like I said it can be quite endearing at times

  • No. I'm the same way. I'm a quiet guy because I've been hurt a lot, but I'm a really nice guy so I understand that it takes time for people to open up.

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  • I'd think she's just not into me.
    I don't need to know on a first date if she was molested by her uncle, but some details about how she lives, what she does, what doe's she do for fun... Cary on a conversation. No one word answers.

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  • If she's really petty and downright unreasonable, I'd build a wall to keep her out.

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  • No, it's not a deal breaker, I'm patient with shy girls

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  • nah but im the same so itd be real awk

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  • It's not a deal breaker, but there's a high chance i'd incorrectly interpret it as her not being very interested in me, and perhaps i'd move on.

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