I get cussed out a lot and called a "coon", "house nigg* "& etc ;whenever I do have a young black man contact me and I politely say I'm sorry but I'm not interested.. I do not give my reason, just a simple "im not interested, have a good day". That still does not stop them from calling me every name in the book though.. They automatically assume that I hate black people just because I prefer to date interracially. I honestly have always preferred to do that. My very first "boyfriend" was white, at the time I really did not see colour. as I grew up I just hung around people that I could actually connect with, and accepted me for my "not black enough vibes"/ways.
So the thing is I prefer to date interracial only when it concerns men, but when it concerns women I don't care.. And I honestly love black women a lot. Does this make me racist or is it just a personal preference?
You described your preferences in a paragraph, I'd guess about a hundred words or so. You want to know if it's racist. So you want to take a hundred words and narrow it down to one word. Why?
If it doesn't fit that one word, then it's OK? If it does fit that one word, then it's not OK?
So many people want to justify if something is OK or not OK, by putting it in some category. If it's in the "right" category, then it has society's stamp of approval. If it's in a different category, then it has society's stamp of disapproval.
But what about you? What does your conscience tell you? Is your conscience clear? Or if it's not clear, does that come from yourself, or from society?
Do you feel guilt? Do you feel like you are doing something wrong?
I think you need to look inside yourself, instead of trying to assign a word to it.
This is just a preference! Everyone has different likes and dislikes, and things they are attracted to and not attracted to... It's normal! This is just one of your preferences and don't let anyone tell you any different. You have a right to be happy and to date the people you want to date. Do not change this to satisfy someone else's jealousy and ignorance... Good luck! :)
"That still does not stop them from calling me every name in the book though"
And this is one of the key reason why so many people have negative opinions about blacks. Many are vile and hateful themselves.
No, girl. You aren't racist. You have a preference. And just like any other ethnicity has to accept being turned down for a preference, so do have blacks. If these childish and immature guys can't do that - then they already prove themselves being unworthy for any serious kind of relationship to begin with.
No you can date who you want and as you didn't really seem to say anything negative about Black guys (in fact they were the ones calling you names) they are playing the classic game of being mad and trying to guilt trip you because you rejected them.
Don't worry about it at all, I bet half them dont even date Black girls themselves. Find a White guy or whoever you want and be happy, the end. Don't care what they think why should their opinions effect your happiness anyways?
Nah u not only one. In real life black women bash me for liking another races. I look at black females as friends. I don't have problem with black girls prefer another races. My aunt married white man. I like foreign women more cuz they look at me as human being not as black man.
As a black dude. I always wonder what a girl means when she says that she's not attracted to black guys.
I get if someone is not into me.
But how do you find an entire race unattractive? I mean black folk come in all sorts of shapes, size, and shades. We all have different personalities and come from a myriad of backgrounds. But somehow all of us have been deemed unattractive.
Does she think my dark skin is ugly? Does she find my hair repulsive? Is it something deeper? Does she have low opinion of black men?
And it's not always "I don't date black guys" Sonetimes it's "I don't really hang with black dudes" or "I feel uncomfortable at black get togethers" or "I don't that club/bar. It's too black"
What was it about all of that made us unacceptable from the get-go?
It makes feel paranoid around people. Like they're looking down at me before they hit a chance to know me.
in my opinion you have a vendetta against black men for some reason. Probably some event or events in your life that were extremely negative, directly involved a black guy or black men.
I feel that black dude can fit all your personal specs you like in a guy and you would STILL reject him just because he's black (which is funny because you're black yourself yet reject your male counterpart)!
So I say yes, you are racially discriminating against black men. Sad to see you dismiss all of us bruthas like that, though. Why the hate for us as potential lovers? :'(
i think subconsciously maybe you do have an aversion to black men. because if race were not an issue you would date all races, but you wouldn't exclude them. not attacking you but this is my theory. because you date black women but not black men, have u had bad experiences with black males? but regardless do you and make yourself happy. maybe the man you are meant to be with comes in vanilla flavor lol. i am one of those pro-black love types, but if you truly aren't hurting anyone do you and love who you love. life is too short to make other people happy
Your sexual preference is your preference and it is technically racism, but it's not considered the 'bad' type of racism. You don't think less of a race, you're just not attracted to them. It's like saying you prefer blonds over red heads. It's okay.
Now the racial slurs people are calling you are veryveryvery racist and veryveryvery not okay.
I've declined someone and they immediately pulled the race card. It's happened to me and it's like... maybe I don't want to give you my number because you even said you just want sex.
I always find it strange when someone is totally unattracted to people of their own race. Human nature dictates that we tend to be attracted to those who look similar to us. There's nothing wrong with having a preference and leaving doors open to races that don't fit that preference, however, to completely bar a race from your dating pool points to some kind of deeper issue. Especially if that race is your own.
But alas, if dating men of other races is what makes YOU feel happy, then so be it. You're not really harming anyone, unless your reasons for not wanting black men are grounded in racial prejudice.
I think it is a personal preference, just like it would for anyone who wanted to date within their race. It's all preference to who you are attracted to. Now on the other hand, nit is very racist for those calling you those names to be doing so. Likely too jelous of a good thing and can't deal with it!
Who you prefer to date does not make you a racist. It's a matter of personal choice and you have a right to date whom you want to date not whom society deems you should date. I personally will not date black men, I will be friends with them but won't date them. They just don't interest me in that manner. When it comes to dating women I actually prefer to date black women although I will date any race woman.
I think it's just a personal preference. I experience the same: the average facial features of some races just look more appealing to me than those of other races, and my preferences for men are different than for women. I still often go for people who wouldn't fit in my type category though.
I found that giving a reason (even if it's a bullshit reason) makes it easier for them to accept. However, I haven't ever really gotten sweared at yet.
it's 'racist; because of your approach. There's no such thing as a preference to "date interracially". That's just a nicer way to word being a complete racist.
From a non-racist person, you shouldn't even be able to piece that sentence together. There's no way* in hell is it possible to distinguish between a person if you take their race aside. There's different types of personalities and similar personality types all across nationalities.
If that doesn't make sense just image you put 3 people (with different races) in separate rooms. If you were to talk to them each in a black room would you be able to distinguish the different races (voice filter applied)?
However, no one is perfect and completely unprejudice. And nothing about the way you decide to date is "bad", so don't let anyone tell you that. It's understandable a persons race/ethnicity has a huge factor in shaping their personality and 'who they are' which is why you're attracted to them. All in all, i think you just have a problem being unconsciously predjudice around black (or whatever race) men. Are you dismissing them because they're black? Or did you dismiss them because of how they approached you? If you would've do the same thing if a white guy approached you... then yes, you're a bit predjudice
It's racist to think one race is better than the other, or to treat people differently because of their colour, generalizating or stereotyping people becase of race. But attraction is just a preference if it's not based on that. It's no problem being attracted to other races as long as you have respect for the others as well. People trying to shame you because of it is just pathetic and they do it because of their own insecurities and because they can't have you so their ego is hurt
I'm the same, but I don't date black African men, even if he was the best man in the world. It's due to me being African myself and not liking how daughters in laws are treated. But I really wonder why you won't date black men, because men are men and there's such a wide difference between them. Do you find yourself physically attracted to black men?
To reject someone simply because their black. Considering you're black. Is mind blowing, and it does seem like your self hating. And really? " Not black enough ways / vibes " just added more to the self hating thing, it appears you feel as you dating white people somehow makes you less black, and better than other blacks. Shrug Not racist, just stupid.
No it doesn't make you racist, its just your taste in men. Thats how most Asian guys are to girls too. Just because she never dated a Asian man, they think she hates Asian people.
Lol what did I just read? Is this real life.
You can choose who you want to date. It's not racist having a preference.
It's mean to be disrespectful by calling anyone names... even if it's not to their face. Name calling is used in a derogatory way to insult someone. It's immature too.
Preference... i preferred black guys for a while until I went to college and i now I prefer white men but that doesn't mean if i black or another race ask me out I'm going to say no it's more about the person
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