I feel chasing after women is a waste of time and I could be using the time towards my career goals as a doctor. Should I feel this way?

I don't know but lately I've been feeling this way maybe because I've been cheated twice in the past?
I'm pretty much confused regarding whether this feeling is normal or not? :/
thanks in advance :)

Updates:
*Cheated on

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Chasing people is pointless, as soon as you are doing your own thing and enjoying your thing you will draw people to you anyway. Maybe you will end up with a colleague in medical school, that would be way better than meeting people in bars because she would have the same passions and ambitions as you have!

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    • I've already finished my medical school :P
      Thanks for your good opinion by the way :)

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    • @Browneye57 Why do men hate competition? and it shouldn't be anyway because if you love someone you are happy for their accomplisments.

    • *accomplishments

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Your thoughts stem from the situation that the girls you were with have either felt for someone else or have hooked up with someone
    2. Through ages guys have chased after girls and vice versa but have been achievers too
    3. It's about prioritizing and keeping your goals straight
    4. I certainly believe whatever happens, happens for the best :)
    5. What you are feeling is nothing but normal and common
    6. Wooing a girl isn't a waste of time certainly. This is the primary objective of our existence.
    7. Having said that however, there are things that one must always do that are required, necessary and warranted.
    8. Hanging on to only one thing doesn't really help. You go on making a career but don't have someone to splurge it on may it be a girl or your kids or loved ones
    9. Everyone goes through some phase or other in their lives. You are going though this one
    10. It's our fixations and expectations that bring about the dismal feeling. Keep that liberal and life will treat you better :)
    11. I'd say concentrate on your career goals and once you achieve those, you'll have the line up for you. You won't need to chase :) :D
    12. Again once you have acquired the girl, it's again how your fixations & thus expectations act up. These being the bane of almost every relationship
    13. What you are talking about the way you are feeling is a whole psychological discussion. Maybe we can do it over private messages - best that way

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    • Well, we can discuss here since most guys who are dedicated to their carrier needs your help too.
      Thanks for awesome answer though :)
      I really appreciate it.

    • At the outset young friend, allow me to thank you for your warm, kind, generous and thoughtful gesture of selecting my opinion the MHO <3 :)

      Sure we can discuss whatever either here or on messages. I'm open to it alright :)

      Thank you for your kind and touching words :) <3

What Girls Said 11

  • Yeah, I think chasing after people is a waste of time - definitely. Just get on with your life. It either happens or it doesn't.

    I've never dated like the rest of the world seems to do, I've been on one "date" and most of that was spent with his mate while he played on stage. I don't get why people keep meeting with strangers to see if they might get on... sounds like a monumental waste of time and energy.

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  • Well, being a doctor requires a lot of effort. And a lot of times, you simply won't have time for a lady friend. That being said, never give up hope on dating because of the past. Ever. Are you in an office now?

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  • You are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel. If you want to focus on other things, then do that. Nobody is going to stop you and what others think should, in the end, not matter at all to you.

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  • It's perfectly normal. But if you were chasing after women in the first place instead of your career then you were kinda digging your own grave. I will tell you first hand that the best thing you can do before you get married is have a career. Chasing after women is a very very sharp two edged sword, on one hand you could fin the girl of your dreams earlier than expected, but other aspects of your life (such as your career) would suffer. A lot. And then you would be scrambling to get your career on track while managing both her debts and yours as well as paying for children and so on and so forth. I'm not saying you should give up on women or just wait for one to appear I'm just saying be picky about the women you pursue, honestly ask yourself if your really truly interested and if you are start out slow and casual and gradually go from there.

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  • It's not a bad feeling to feel this way. If your number one priority is to be a doctor and not finding a woman right now, then go for it. That's the same with me. I'm a very picky person when it comes to liking guys (yes, I have physical attraction, but liking someone is different - it's weird I know), but I have more of a priority to graduate and make a living for myself.

    But focus on graduation and being a doctor. We can never have too many doctors (:

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  • Yeah that's true.

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  • I understand completely!

    But I must say that there will be that one person who is worth chasing.

    Answer mine pls
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1919998-does-he-like-me

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  • Three points:
    1) Someone once told me that the right person will feel like the relationship happens easily. I guess if someone has to chase it is because the other is running away. But if you are both equally interested in each other then you should both be making steps to progress the relationship.
    2) Someone else once told me to always strive to be your best and learn to love yourself and when you do that everything else falls into place. I think you can only really love another person when you ready feel content and complete.
    3) Love happens when you least expect it - if you search for it then you rarely ever find it. It often happens that you meet someone when you are already committed. I think it is because you feel content and are not out there searching

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  • Yes you should. But you would be missing out on the fun part if life

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  • I've never been cheated on before but the main reason I'm single is because I first wasn't to follow my dreams in graduating college. So I don't think it's normal that you think that way because I think that way too.

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  • no i think it's normal.
    i kind of feel the same way... but with guys. i am more focused on becoming a psychotherapist/psychologist
    i feel like you should build in your twenties and settle in your thirties, but i am not closed to a relationship, but i will not be looking for one either, if it finds me then great! if not then great too!

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What Guys Said 13

  • Never chase a girl. Just go on with your own life. If you desire a long lasting relationship with a person who is true and loved for you as you do her. Then all's you simply have to do is believe some day you will receive that. Don't look for it nor focus on seeking it. Just simply believe and you will receive Stay on your path. Never veer off a life's dream.
    The path of love will cross yours effortlessly, so stay out of the way.

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  • I feel the same way. Have been for over a year now.
    I don't feel any sort of sexual attraction towards a girl, unless I really like her a lot. I don't go out of my way to chase after girls. I feel that it's a huge waste of time and energy. I'd much rather spend my time improving myself as a person by widening my horizons.
    I'd rather stay at home doing calculus than following my cousins to a club. Lol. Just my two cents.

    There's nothing inherently wrong with doing that. I feel, that it is beneficial. Instead of wasting your time and energy chasing after girls and forging a relationship that might not last, it's far less consuming to actually strive to make a better version of yourself and have girls come after you, eventually.

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  • -How much time has passed since you first approached her?
    - Did you know her before hand?
    - What is your status now?

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    • Well, my last break up occurred around a year ago, never seen her afterwards.
      We were friends for like 3-4 months.

      I'm single right now, maybe because I feel like I should concentrate more on studies since I'm a doctor by profession and I'm preparing for my post graduation entrance exam.

      And maybe because of the way my last two relationships ended, I think I don't want any more drama in my life since it's really hard for me to get over a break up.

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    • Thanks for the good advise, man :)

    • Always welcome

  • Yes it's normal and a career as a doctor is going to take up A LOT of your time. Not saying you can't have a relationship to but your girlfriend is going to have to understand and accept this and be ok with it (it will take a special woman as most will want more of your time).

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  • Get yourself to the point where it's no longer a chase but more like shootin' fish in a barrel. Focus on you.

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  • I agree. I have never understood the guys who like the chase. I personally hate it. When I make my interest known, if she doesn't give it back I move on.

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  • Yes, you're wasting your time. Go be awesome, be what you want to be, and there will be someone that you'll feel worth sharing your life with.
    Date, don't pursue. Have lots of dates. There is zero incentive to marry young in today's culture of feminism. Watch out for gold diggers.

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  • Depends how much time you spend chasin em. haha

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  • That's right, bro. Just focus on your career at this point. Don't chase women, make them chase you!

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  • When you become a doctor, the women will come running because you're successful

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  • There's no point chasing after anyone. If they don't put equal effort they are not worth it. Unfortunately, most women don't put equal effort and expect a guy to do more so that's makes it tough.

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  • Stopped reading at "I feel like chasing women is a waste of time"

    Yeah it is. DON'T CHASE WOMEN.

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  • I certainly wouldn't make it the prime focus of my life but on the other hand you risk becoming like one of these people who consumes soylent because traditional eating is time consuming, distracting and inconvenient.

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