How do I stop pushing guys away :( ?

I've never been in a relationship cause I always seem to think everyone is trying to play me. I've been around a lot of bad relationships, like both my best friends got cheated on by their long term boyfriends. I have another friend who always just gets lead on by guys and used for sex. Even my parents relationship is shit. So I always think i'm going to get fucked over and never let my guard down and i can be such a bitch to guys and countless people have told me this - it's something i'm finding hard to help. I recently stopped seeing this guy who I had been seeing for over a year cause when he stared showing signs of liking me, and wanting a relationship, I didn't belive him. Especially cause he's good looking so could get any girl he wanted. It really sucked cause I had such strong feelings for him (still do) and now he's in a relationship :,(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What is the big deal? If you meet someone you like and he turns out to be an asshole, then it's his problem. You will lose someone who doesn't deserve you and he'll lose an awesome woman. To be afraid of being screwed over is like being afraid of the flu - sometimes you get it but you get used to it and learn to be more careful. I'd say bad things should happen to us. Otherwise we'll never learn valuable life lessons. If he truly likes you go to him, apologise and explain the problem. If he's a decent man he'll forgive you and you might actually not get fucked over.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You gotta get yourself out there, make yourself available to be in a relationship. Maybe it'll suck and you'll get hurt. Maybe it's going to be great.

    Just try to live in the moment and don't create too much expectations.

    Good luck! ;)

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  • Yeah that sort of stuff is annoying. Emotionally unavailable and cold... bleh That wall is so off putting.

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    • Agreed.
      I can't stand dealing with men who are visibly unfit to be dating due to that issue yet still wish to consume my time and energy. At some point, people have to choose to be proactive and responsible for their issues instead of sitting around like Cinderella in a dark, cold, dusty cellar waiting for somebody to come and rescue them.

What Girls Said 2

  • Get over your issues and stop making random guys pay for a heart they didn't hurt. That's not fair to them. If you want me to be completely honest, women and men who think like you are a pain in the azz when it comes to happy people who aspire to enjoy their lives. Should you find someone who has found harmony, is happy, and is generally in a good place then this habit of yours will ultimately become a chore. When people sit on their ass and complain about their emotional and mental issues, deciding to stay damaged, then SELFISHLY expect someone to come along and fix them like a professional therapist, it smothers potentially amazing connections. Especially the older you get, nmost stable men who know what they want are not going to tolerate being burdened by your problems that you won't fix and properly address.

    I advise that you seek professional counseling and find someone who can help you get to the root of your issues. You are simply not fit to be dating or be someone's girlfriend. So long as you continue to do nothing legitimately serious to change this severe paranoia, then you are going to continue working against yourself, missing out, and plausibly even push your soulmate into the arms of another woman.

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    • I wouldn't say I need professional help- that's a bit harsh. I'm not unstable. With the guy I liked, I managed to be with him for over a year before things ended. What fueled my fire with that was we started of casual and he said he didn't want a relationship and was talking to other girls so naturally, when he said he suddenly had feelings and all that, understandably, I was skeptical

  • I FEEL YOU. I have the same problem

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