Do long distance relationships work?

I highly doubt it is going to work out, I'm starting to think it is stupid. I mean, we've met on a dating site and hit it off, but never met each other in real life. Now, even though he took down his profile, there is still a chance for his parents or friends to introduce him to other girls!

I don't think I should put all my eggs into one basket. But is it harder for guys in the military to meet other girls, making LDR okay?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Military ldrs are different. He doesn't have any control of his life. No it isn't harder to meet someone when you're in. If you get in a relationship with a service member you're doing so knowing there will be periods of separation. These relationships aren't for everybody but millions have made it work and been very happy

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    • But we've never met in real life. We have only Skyped, messaged and call. We nearly talk 24/7, and we can't even work because we think about each other too much. We are committed to each other and falling deep for each other. We care about each other. But my concern is mainly his friends introducing some random girl out of the blue while I will have my heart broken. I don't want to cheat on him and we are planning to meet each other next year, but next year seems too long. And I haven't seen other guys as perfect as him. This is so ridiculous! He is in the US and I am in Australia. I can find some military guy locally that is fighting for MY country while he can find some random student pilot. They are everywhere.

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    • There's always going to be women around. You can't prevent that. If it's meant to be it'll happen. He's thinking the same as you that you could meet or hookup with someone else. You can either handle this or not and if this is too much for you then don't do anymore ldrs

    • Well, I don't know. Last time, there was an actual threat to our relationship. A really handsome, local fighter pilot. An old flame. Since we had a lot to talk about without explaining, we clicked on really well. We would talk about turnover engines, crosswinds and navigation all day. Aviation dominated our life. Of course, I didn't show my guy. He would be very upset and would feel helpless as well as worthless when he sees a guy he can barely compete with in terms of looks, profession and distance.

      I don't know if he is thinking the same thing. But maybe he thinks it's easier for me to cheat or move on since my course is predominantly for men and I am relatively attractive. In the army, there are very few women and he expressed disinterest in the nurses.

What Guys Said 4

  • If you've been together for a while in person, and then the relationship goes long-distance for a while (certainly the military would qualify for this), I'm sure it can work out.
    I don't believe much in long distance relationships where you haven't even met face to face before though. I feel like too much of a relationship depends on the in-person chemistry and connection, you need a solid foundation to build the relationship on first, then and only then is there a real chance for the relationship to really survive long distance.

    Now, I'm sure there are examples where the opposite is true, but I would bet 9 times out of 10 relationships that start off long distance for an extended period of time, don't last or work out well, even if the people eventually do get together in person.

    Be friends, be pen-pals, have tentative plans to get together and give it a shot further down the road if you do get together, but I would keep it casual and let each other continue to date locally until that time with no firm commitments. If it's meant to be, it will work out, otherwise one or both of you will probably meet someone locally that will work out better with.

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    • I don't know. We are both doing commitment, and so far we are falling for each other. I tried to find someone but felt guilty and that other person wasn't really stable. A lot of guys are around me but I couldn't see anyone but him. He said he will come around next July, to which I said I hope that this will last. He confidently said it will. We have never met in person and has only Skyped so far. We have been talking almost every day for 4 months but I have my fears soon slowly everything will be boring. We can't hug each other and stuff, and words can only be said so many times before it becomes meaningless.

  • never if the gap isn't closed.

    rarely if its closed after a while

    sometimes if they see each other very soon

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    • But the thing is, his friends could introduce him a local girl to get me off his mind. I am so stupid. I shouldn't have messaged him and be in a LDR with someone I may be able to get locally. Really? I can find a local soldier/airman/sailor that is fighting for MY country if I need to. And female pilots are everywhere, I guess. I didn't take things seriously until I got his phone number, then I didn't know what was going on.

  • If you have never met in real life... it's not going to work. I thought you meant long distance as in person has gone away for a job, travel etc

    Seriously if you haven't met each other and have no plans of meeting each other, then it won't work. Out of curiosity, how long are we talking here? ( distance)

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    • He is in the US and I'm in Australia. We are committed to each other and he said he will meet me July next year when he has the time and money. This is so stupid, REALLY! if I wanted to find someone in the military, I live near the base and can find someone fighting for MY country. And he can just find student pilots, there are many. We text 24/7 and think about each other every day, we can't even work. I hope this lasts. If this lasts and we get to see each other, then it will be true love. I'm scared his friends will introduce him to some random girl and he would leave forever.

  • Unlikely, distance makes you both suffer.

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    • I'm just really scared that his friends would introduce him to some local girl and he would move on. It's not fair at all. Introducing by friends is more likely to occur in guys than for girls. I really kind of regret messaging him in the first place, now I can't cheat not break up with him and see where it goes. Be patient. If things work out, hallelujah.

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    • What are some ways to show him how much I like him every day and for him to feel special? We can't even hug, kiss or anything. We have gone exclusive and I have been faithful, even when I was the least from faithful in the past. He is in the US while I live in Australia. I don't know how things will work out. I pray to God.

    • Make videos, make them private on youtube, send him the links. Talk to him, show the affection, make him things.

      Also, emails. Photos, writte something by hand, make it personal and sincere.

      Wait his reactions.

What Girls Said 2

  • I was in a long distance relationship for a while and met my husband online. Despite the fact we are polar opposites we work out and have known each other for 5 years. They do work just have to work a little harder in order to keep it alive. Take the time to meet in person though as you may not click on person. Also really get to know the person before you start dating.

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    • But the thing is, what if their friends introduce new girls for your boyfriend and he moves on? I really don't want this to happen, it would suck. I hope we would end up like you two, you two are our inspiration. I can't really prevent stuff from happening.

  • i feel the same way.

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