I am around so many guys yet I am still single... why?

It hasn't really bothered me until recently but as of late I have been wanting to get back into the dating world now that I am comfortable and less stressed. I am actively seeking a relationship, openly speaking to new people and being friendly. I have made so many new friends this past year and it just so happens that many of them are guys. Despite having all these friends that are guys I am still single. Why?
Am I too closed off?
Are my guy friends intimidating possible boyfriends?
Maybe I am just unattractive haha
I am curious any reasons why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have friends that are girls, but the vibe I get from them are "they are friends" and not looking for a relationship. It is possible that the people you are with are under that same impression. If you give off a "I just want to be friends vibe," that could stop guys. If they aren't the kind of guy to ask a girl out right from the start, they'll tend to ask them out after they believe they have a chance. I would say the majority guys are oblivious to signs so sometimes you have to make it really obvious lol (and that does not mean dressing promiscuously. It means good ol' flirting).

    If you are looking for guys to spontaneously come up to you and talk to you and flirt/ask you out/etc., having guy friends will intimidate them and stop them. As I said before, no one likes rejection. Your chances will improve if you aren't surrounded by guys. I'd say your best chances are alone actually... without headphones on and not studying.

    I read this article and I would say it holds pretty true for many of the points.
    stylecaster.com/10-tactics-get-guy-ask-you-out/

    I'd also like to note number 9. Guys actually really love it for the most part when a girl asks them out. It is rare for a guy to be asked out. If you look at the vast majority of polls on GAG for instance saying "guys, would you like if a girl asked you out," I bet 95% of them would have guys saying "yes."

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What Guys Said 19

  • The guys you have come to call friends may have an attraction to you, but may not be showing it. Since I do not know much about you or what you say to the guys I do not know about you being closed off, but it does not sound like you are too closed off if you are out meeting people and seeking a relationship. As for being unattractive I do not think that is the reason either based on your profile pic. Maybe they do not want to put in the effort or are scared to put in the effort? It seems to be a common thing in the dating scene these days is a lack of actual commitment

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  • "Are my guy friends intimidating possible boyfriends"

    For me that would be a turn off. I tend to see girls with a lot of male friends as being more promiscuous. I also wonder how many of them are her ex fuckbuddies.

    Thats just my opinion tho. Other guys might not think the way I do.

    you're definitely not unattractive tho.

    Its probably that you give off the vibe you are unavailable.

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    • Ah I am definitely not promiscuous. A lot of my guy friends are actually dating other girls and I get along with their girlfriends too it just happens hat we all hang out together... maybe I'll start going to lunch by myself once in a while

  • Being friendly is one thing , suggestive signs for something more is the ignition switch you'd want to flip.

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  • Because you act like you want to be friends, not that you want a relationship.

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    • Yrah maybe instead of being overly friendly I should be a tad more flirty

    • Now you're thinking.

    • No offense but I doubt it lol. The thinking process of young guys: "Omg she looked at me, she wants my D"

  • Stage 5 serial friend-zoner. You are very organized, borderline OCD, you keep things neat, everything has it's place. You are still fun, and have a good personality, smile and have a nice sense of humor, but are quick to categorize a man into a friend before he has the chance to prove otherwise. Solution: the right man will come alone, a bad boy perhaps, break the mold at a social event, a party perhaps you're a little inebriated. She has walls, but they are not impenetrable by the bravest and manliest of knights. You need to be swept off your feet, treated romantically, taken on adventure to the highest point and then just grabbed and passionately kissed until the little bit of nerdiness you are clinging to just melts off along with your clothing.

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    • Ahh the fact that this is so true is slightly depressing haha. I try my best but I am crazy organized about my life and it does get in the way I suppose...

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    • Lol sadly I am not a fan and lemon cake is my fav 😂😂 well as long as there are guys in the world that will understand me

    • Lemon cake it is, it's a date.

  • You own yourself so you should know better. But the truth is this: if what you are looking for is not forth coming, why don't you go out and get it.

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  • I read signs when a girl wants to date me or is interested. What I want is a friendship with a female but every time I get close to a female they end up crushing on me so I only have guy friends. Why do girls want what they can't have? I don't give off a demeanor that I'm out for pussy too cause I'm not out for sex in general. I want friends! And more female ones.

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    • I always try to be friends with girls but a lot of the time I find theyre too bitchy or mean to actually get along with. I don't enjoy drama all too much and guys are not filled with drama theyre much more fun to hang out with. I do however miss a good girl day once in awhile but when they start getting all judgmental and rude it is hard to handle.

  • its because American guys are idiots and can't read the signs , european guys are better lovers ;)

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  • Im sure lots of guys assume that one of the guys is your boyfriend. Get out by yourself more, im sure guys will cone after you.

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  • not every boy is going to like you, while thinking demotivated. Also girls with high confidence also are not very often to be liked, real mens doesn't like girls which think they're so amazing & important, since mens should be ABOVE them.

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    • I am definitely not overly confident with myself (I absolutely lack here) and I am the last girl you'll find preaching about feminist matters. Though I've been told many times that confidence on a woman is sexy which may be why I am not attractive to men because I am not confident

  • Well if you have many guy friends then these guys may not want to fight for you.

    It's quite simple, when they talk to you. Smile and look at them directly in the eyes and hold that gaze. If he has an ounce of confidence he will follow you

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  • Ohh... trust me... looking at your dp... most of your friends are trying their luck... but... the one who might be best thinks u r high maintenance.. :p

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    • Ahh but I am definitely not~ I always pay for myself (often others) and I always think of other before myself. I do however like to treat myself too by getting my nails done or buying branded bags which may give off the vibe of high maintenance...

    • Do i know u? Did u paid for me? do u know them? Do u know me? how can someone know this shit... pls don't be stupid... cz i think ur complete newb carefully implement this... when u see someone don't turn off ur brain... u might get stoned

    • What I meant was although that is not my personality I can see where people would get the impression from.

  • Your male friends aren't attracted to you.

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    • No I know that (many of them are in relationships ) I meant are they making other guys nervous about asking me out because we go to lunch with like 5 people and mainly all of them are guys.

  • No you are not unattractive give it time don't rush..

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  • Your guy friends aren't sensible

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  • Who knows.

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  • What? Really? You're pretty..

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  • I have same doubt too. I'm still single too.

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    • Haha I am just curious what goes through a guys head... maybe I come off as too nice and a perfect girl to have as as friend

    • Okay. Thanks for your idea.

  • Maybe the guys you hang around with are idiots.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Ask them out. Make a move. Don't just expect them to come to you and fall into your lap. You have to be active if you want shit to happen. If you only treat them like friends, then they'll think they have been friendzoned. Flirt with them and actively show your interest, even to the point of asking them out on a date. Girls need to stop beating around the bush and expecting men to do everything for them.

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  • Have you asked any of then out? Relationships are two way streets.

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    • My guy friends aren't the people I meant I wanted t date I am thinking guys are scared to approach me because I am surrounded by all of my guy friends?

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    • If you're surrounded by guys then yes most guys won't approach you. They Will assume one of them is your boyfriend. Or if you're getting a lot of attention from different guys, then some guys might think you're just a flirt.

    • @whitegato777 Thanks for repeating exactly what I said. We *really* needed that male confirmation to make a decision.

  • nah just flirt! lol!

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  • How long have you been looking for

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  • because they think your a slut

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  • Have you turned them down before or put them in that so called "friend zone"?
    I have this same issue but more like bc i suck in relationships so i keep pushing guys away even if i like them 😭

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    • I honestly have no idea. The haven't really shown solid interest on me so I have no clue what theyre thinking.

    • Maybe they did n you didn't notice so you didn't show interest back for whatever reason n they think it'll never happen?

    • Maybe they're intimidated

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