Is it wrong to break up with my boyfriend because I want to be single?

I have no other real reason other than feeling like I'm being tied down. As bad as it sounds, I feel like I'm not relationship material yet. I feel the pressure and expectations. My boyfriend would always expect me to go see him or he see me every weekend to every other day. He doesn't understand that I'm exhausted from work and school. He would expect me to always look appealing even if I want to have a lazy day. He'd down me for wanting to hang out with friends. I honestly can't take it and I'd rather be single. People keep telling me to talk to him but I've tried and honestly I just want to be single. However, I hate that I have to feel like a jerk in the end because I know that it'll break his heart.


3|0
13|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • No. If you're not ready for a relationship then break it off. To continue when you don't want it is only going to create problems anyway. Just break it off as gently and nicely as you can, but also be very honest. Say "I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now. I'm sorry, I like you but I have to end the relationship"

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope! You only have one life and you never know when your time is up. You don't get to go back and do it over again. So you might as well make choices that are going to make you fulfilled and bring you harmonious joy!

    Having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) can be hard when you are ambitious with goals and primarily focused on working towards a certain type of future because they require attention, focus, energy, and time. Plus his whole whining/nagging thing where he throws fits if you want to enjoy the company of your friends too is going to start making you resent him. That ish is annoying. He doesn't sound like a very realistic, good boyfriend anyway. He sounds like one of those guys who thinks real life relationships are suppose to play out the way they do in the movies.

    You gotta do what's best for you which sounds like leaving this relationship. His heart will mend in time.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 19

  • "People keep telling me to talk to him but I've tried and honestly I just want to be single." It doesn't sound like you've tried very hard. You got involved in a relationship and that carries some obligations with it. Make a REAL effort to discuss this matter with him.

    Some of the expectations may be assumptions on your part and he may not have those expectations. I know that women are that way in particular about their appearance. They blame guys for their need to constantly primp and attend to their clothes but most guys really don't care.

    Relationships are also about compromise. You can suggest compromises on the important issues. If he is not willing to compromise, then you have given it your best effort, But, if he is willing to try compromises, you owe it to yourself and to him to at least try those alternatives.

    The worst outcome would be for you to be looking back at this, maybe 3-4 years from now, wishing that you had tried harder, realizing that you still love him, but you can't have a second chance because he has moved on and is married to someone else.

    0|0
    0|0
    • We've only dated 2 months. I know what you mean but I'm not willing to compromise simply because I don't see this relationship going very far with his bad habits of whining. My first relationship lasted for 5 years from 18-22 and I did everything times compromise. Don't go saying how women tend to make assumptions when you don't even know me. Think of it this way, if I was your daughter and you found my boyfriend to be a distraction from my goals and freedom you'd probably tell me to break up with him then.

    • So saying that I haven't tried hard enough is YOU making assumptions.

    • "Some of the expectations MAY be assumptions on your part."

      "It doesn't sound like you've tried very hard." Perhaps I should have made my thought more explicit; I had the IMPRESSION (and it's just an impression because all you gave us was one paragraph of background) that you had not tried very hard.

      I also had the impression that you had dated longer because of your description of the relationship and you omitted the actual length of the relationship in your post. How did you get that serious in just 2 months?

      If you want more accuracy in advice, you need to give people more facts.

  • Be honest with him and tell him what you want (a break up and to be singleĺ. If he truly cares for you he will respect your decision.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your not being a jerk. God is know how your feel totally. I spend half my life wishing I was single and had time to do things I want to do or see the people I want to see.

    I think if your with the right person it's ok. I love to be with someone and I would be happy for them to be out all the time or seeing their friends. It's about freedom and happiness for my partner and I hate feeling trapped or like I'm obliged to do something

    Xxx it's up to you what you want to do its your life and if you love him enough to stay with him xx

    I would love you to have freedom xxx

    0|0
    0|0
  • do what you gotta do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's a fine reason to break up with someone. especially considering your schedule being so full

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that's quite reasonable. Perhaps you should just tell him you need more space and try to work the relationship out before deciding to fully break up with him. Maybe he'll accommodate for your needs for extra space, though growing too distant and you might as well end the relationship.

    It's up to you though. I understand how you feel though.

    0|0
    0|0
  • ya, clearly you are too selfish to meet the needs of another person right now. Stop this nonsense and move on. When and if you ever figure out what your issues are and address them, maybe you can be with someone then. not now.

    1|0
    0|0
    • That has nothing to do with being selfish so knock it off.

    • did you read what you actually wrote above? The definition of selfishness.

      Selfishness:
      being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

  • Not at all... if you want to be free for awhile, he should be okay with that. He may miss you, but, he should realize it is for the best.

    At least you are mature enough to realize that you need to be single for awhile... to just be yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you. Yeah I feel like people stay in relationships because they're afraid of being alone but my fear is feeling like I wasted his time. I hope for the best and wish he'd find someone else. I'm just too busy right now.

  • if your not ready for that type of long term relationship then you should end it so he doesn't wast his time making plans for the future

    0|0
    0|0
  • Too many people on here just say what they think the other person wants to hear so they can get MHO. Pandering is really bad for your health

    Do what you do, just don't regret it later. If this becomes a trend you might have commitment issues

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is your choice and that should be in your best interest. Hope he understands too. Goodluck

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you feel like you can't take the pressure anymore, talk about it to him to avoid hurting him more. He won't know until you mention it. If he still doesn't change, you're free to go with a clean conscience

    0|0
    0|0
  • The same thing happened to me, she released her from me telling me she want to be free and things like that, now she quite regret about it, knowing that it's hard to find a boy with simillar character and mind.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm sure you're a great guy and that's her problem if she regrets it. I'm not about to waste his time if I feel I'm not relationship material. That's mean. But your ex just didn't know what she wanted. I got too comfortable being single.

    • well yes she said that she doesn't know what she want, and now I want to proove her that she made a mistake, because it's not fair to be with a person for more than 4 years and tell him, I stopped loving you with the time and things like that, I want she to feel the same way I suffer last 2 months...

    • That's a long time. My boyfriend and I were only together for 2 months lol! I thought I could handle the relationship thing but apparently I can't. Four years is a long time invested just to say you don't love a person anymore. That's foul actually. Don't waste your breath trying to prove anything to that girl. Do what makes you happy :-)

  • Look out for #1. Break up with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like your boyfriend has no clue... I'd dump him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just fine.. If you're not happy just breakup with him... Single is fun.. Single is awesome...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do what you like and tell him that

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes It is.

    0|0
    0|0
  • then why started it?

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • You are relationship material, just this guy and his high demands is not the right partner for you. You've tried explaining to him all that is going on in your life and it sounds like he only wants you to cater to his needs, without a thought of yours. Relationships go both ways. It's not all about one person, and that's what he wants (it to be all about him, and for you to be available every time it suits him). God how draining I think that would be alone, nevermind along with studies and a job.

    Don't feel like a jerk for a guy who never really cared for you to begin with.
    If he cared, he would understand all that goes on in your life and take on board the space you need.

    0|0
    0|0
  • At this point, you need to take care of yourself. It's good to see where you are at and to make decisions that will be best for both of you. All the best!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope! Its bad to pretend you want him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't break up with him. You should just act as you feel comfortable, instead of you breaking up with him let him take a decision. Just don't be you the one to break his heart. 😊

    1|0
    0|0
    • That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

    • Show All
    • I replied my dear when you were rude to the asker. Try having some manners first and respect those around you.

    • @asha89 If you can't see, I really wanted to help her but she offended me first. And you don't know me so don't give me lessons.

  • Being unhappy in your relationship is really the only reason you need to break up with someone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, that seems like the right thing to do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's never messed up to end a relationship. What is messed up is not ending it and stating with someone you don't have feelings for when you would rather be with someone else or alone or cheating

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it's your life. You don't have a contract with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That reason is why my first boyfriend broke up with me! I was annoyed but if that's what you want you have to look out for yourself first!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Then be single. Being afraid to feel like a jerk shouldn't be a valid excuse to stay unhappy and waste precious time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dump him...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well it's better to leave him than to cheat on him...

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...