"Not into social media" very private.. Red flag?

Recently dating (3 mos) exclusively a new guy. He has been gone the last month for work and we have been talking every day. I know that he doesn't really like social media he said. He has a Facebook but "never uses it" except to "get news" and keep in touch with friends around the world. I can't even request him because his page is so private. A few weeks ago he made an Instagram and started following me and a few friends. He then started following a bunch of fitness models and a few other real girls. This bothered me but he insisted the real girls were all just friends. So I dropped it. That was weeks ago. Now suddenly he has deleted his Instagram. I just find if all very sketchy and don't want it to be that he doesn't like social media because he is talking to girls from all over (he's lived many places). Is this a red flag or am I over reacting?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's how not into social media I am.

    The only reason I have a Facebook account is because my step daughter set it up for me in 2011.
    I did not log into it until 2014, when I was trying to locate an old acquaintance of mine. I have posted no status updates and no time line entries. I haven't "liked" anything or anyone. I haven't accepted any friend requests -- not even from my wife! (Happily married for almost 10 years so no issues there.)

    It is entirely normal to not be into social media.

    I have a twitter ID too, just to prevent a username I often use from being picked up by someone else. I have yet to tweet or follow or be followed.

    No instagram
    No snapchat
    Nothing.

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    • Do you agree with my totally sexist (lol) views about facebook?

      Curious to see where you're at, there, considering we seem to find common ground on so many other issues (especially the "marriage 1st kids 2nd" thing, OMG THANK YOU, I swear we're a dying breed).

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    • @redeyemindtricks

      Thanks, but my birthday isn't until tomorrow (March 4th). GaG is worldwide and doesn't respect time zones so I guess if I were in New Zealand I could already celebrate, but here in Central Standard Time, it's still the 3rd.

      I'm not very social myself, GaG is actually a bit of an outlet for me as a result. I don't socialize with coworkers (they don't either for that matter).

      Consequently, I'm hugely dependent on my wife for meeting my emotional needs. I'm the same as my father in this regard. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

      I am very introverted so that has a huge impact. When I was in the Navy, living in close quarters with 600 men (the ship was 600 ft long and 63 feet wide) I really had difficulty "getting away".

      When I had the opportunity to move off the ship with some other guys, I seized it, just to have my own room with my own door.

    • Thanks for the MHO.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know this won't be the most popular opinion. But I feel like this is kind of a red flag.

    He has such a private account that you can't add him (why is he hiding?). And yet he isn't on it much, but adds models and girls that are his friends (why not add you?).

    in my opinion it's a red flag if he's trying to hide behaviour online. Why would he follow models if he's not a heavy user online? That makes no sense to me.

    I had a guy who wasn't active online, but he would always comment on other girl's photo's saying "very beautiful". And liking other girls' stuff. I didn't want to overreact so I stayed with him thinking it was harmless.

    Found out a few months later that he was cheating on me the whole time. Found an online dating site. So to me, yes it's definitely something worth noting.

    Unfortunately not everyone is as honest and well-intentioned as the guys on this post. I realize it might seem silly for the girl to 'overreact'. But I think it's definitely worth monitoring his behavior online. Ask him to add you. See what he says.

    If after you asked him about his insta account he deleted it, that seems odd.

    in my opinion if something seems strange, it probably is. There may be more to this story and I hope he has the best intentions ever. But the truth is you just can't trust anyone anymore sadly.

    I made the mistake of asking about my ex's behaviour on here and people said there was nothing to worry about.

    If you are not okay with something, make it known! Don't have to be mean about it, but just let him know that if you are his girlfriend then he should have you on fb.

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What Guys Said 10

  • you're overthinking bruh.

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  • Why do people like to define their relationships based on social media? You like another girl's pic and all fucking hell breaks loose

    I use Facebook less than your boyfriend probably does. I don't care for that crap, and this question is one of the reasons why

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  • You are over reacting and allowing something as stupid as social media become a weapon of mass destruction for your relationship. There are enough struggles in a relationship, stopping adding stupid ones.

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  • Over reacting. Look at my similar question and look at the replies I got...

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1847471-no-facebook-account

    I do use Twitter but, id say you're being very shallow "Just coz a guy doesn't like social media"? He could be the best guy on earth for all you know?

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  • You know, it wasn't all that long ago when humans could function perfectly normally without social media. You might well drive him away if you keep pressing the issue.

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  • Red flag...

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  • It is a red flag, for him.

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  • You are totally over reacting

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  • Likely married and doesn't want to reveal his real account to you for obvious reasons.

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  • Red flag. If he doesn't like social media like he states, then he wouldn't create one and follow a bunch of fitness models. I'm a guy who doesn't like social media. Don't hate anything and see no reason to make one unless I was a fuckin creep trying to stalk girls

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What Girls Said 4

  • I like him. LOL

    Facebook is girly. The entire premise of Facebook is girly. I mean, think about it for a sec. Small talk! Status updates! Omg shape of my 2-year-old's latest turd!
    I can't help but subconsciously subtract a couple of man-points from any man who uses FB for anything beyond business purposes.

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    • hey, i'm hurt. i post like... annually to facebook. and i'm a real man!

  • Nope! I don't use fb.

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  • i think you may be reading into it too much

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  • Something is not quite right as it is strange behaviour

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