Recently dating (3 mos) exclusively a new guy. He has been gone the last month for work and we have been talking every day. I know that he doesn't really like social media he said. He has a Facebook but "never uses it" except to "get news" and keep in touch with friends around the world. I can't even request him because his page is so private. A few weeks ago he made an Instagram and started following me and a few friends. He then started following a bunch of fitness models and a few other real girls. This bothered me but he insisted the real girls were all just friends. So I dropped it. That was weeks ago. Now suddenly he has deleted his Instagram. I just find if all very sketchy and don't want it to be that he doesn't like social media because he is talking to girls from all over (he's lived many places). Is this a red flag or am I over reacting?
Most Helpful Guy
Here's how not into social media I am.
The only reason I have a Facebook account is because my step daughter set it up for me in 2011.
I did not log into it until 2014, when I was trying to locate an old acquaintance of mine. I have posted no status updates and no time line entries. I haven't "liked" anything or anyone. I haven't accepted any friend requests -- not even from my wife! (Happily married for almost 10 years so no issues there.)
It is entirely normal to not be into social media.
I have a twitter ID too, just to prevent a username I often use from being picked up by someone else. I have yet to tweet or follow or be followed.
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Most Helpful Girl
I know this won't be the most popular opinion. But I feel like this is kind of a red flag.
He has such a private account that you can't add him (why is he hiding?). And yet he isn't on it much, but adds models and girls that are his friends (why not add you?).
in my opinion it's a red flag if he's trying to hide behaviour online. Why would he follow models if he's not a heavy user online? That makes no sense to me.
I had a guy who wasn't active online, but he would always comment on other girl's photo's saying "very beautiful". And liking other girls' stuff. I didn't want to overreact so I stayed with him thinking it was harmless.
Found out a few months later that he was cheating on me the whole time. Found an online dating site. So to me, yes it's definitely something worth noting.
Unfortunately not everyone is as honest and well-intentioned as the guys on this post. I realize it might seem silly for the girl to 'overreact'. But I think it's definitely worth monitoring his behavior online. Ask him to add you. See what he says.
If after you asked him about his insta account he deleted it, that seems odd.
in my opinion if something seems strange, it probably is. There may be more to this story and I hope he has the best intentions ever. But the truth is you just can't trust anyone anymore sadly.
I made the mistake of asking about my ex's behaviour on here and people said there was nothing to worry about.
If you are not okay with something, make it known! Don't have to be mean about it, but just let him know that if you are his girlfriend then he should have you on fb.