Guys, when are y'all ready to become serious?

From what I've seen: men 18-24ish (somewhere around there) don't seem to want a relationship. They aren't serious about commiting. All you guys out there, why is this? When do you see yourself commiting/getting serious about looking for a relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • While some guys definitely want and enjoy relationships in their 20s, the vast majority of (western society) men aren't looking for a SERIOUS (as in, marriage-potential) relationship until they're around 30.

    Why?

    Let's look at it.

    Guys hit puberty in their early teens - but most have zero game, and can't get a girl. Socially, women have all the power in their teens and 20s, because they control access to sex, and sex is a young man's #1 priority - men's sexual peak years are roughly 16-25.

    I'm going to say that again, because a lot of women simply don't get this, but SEX is men's #1 priority, while a relationship is somewhere further down the list - maybe #5 or #8, and maybe #37 or #61. For women, RELATIONSHIPS are their #1 priority, while sex is somewhere further down her list. Men and women are DIFFERENT!

    So, teen boy goes through Jr High/Middle School, then High School, and then either on to college or into some trade. The college guy typically graduates and then starts he's career, and like the non-college guy, he's starting on the lowest rungs of the ladder. Through his mid-20s, he's clawing his way up, often barely making ends meet and trying to have some occasional fun, but often working long hours, crazy schedules, working weekends, or having to take a second job. Dating during this period is difficult or impossible.

    Finally, by his late 20s/early 30s, he'll have usually attained a bit of status, stability, and some financial security. He actually is able to pay his bills and has money left over (more than the cost of a 6-pack of beer, anyway), and so, FINALLY, he feels like he is ready to have a real relationship.

    Before that? He knows he has all of these obligations and expectations to deal with, that he has no status or stability, and will have to take crappy jobs, work crappy hours, etc. because he is "low man on the totem pole." He knows none of this is likely to make a girlfriend or wife happy, and he'd rather spend what little free time he has relaxing rather than fighting with an unhappy partner - which is usually the other option.

    And it's a rare girl who understands all this and is TRULY prepared to not only tolerate that phase of his career, but to support him (emotionally and otherwise) through it without being overly demanding of his time and attention.

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What Guys Said 22

  • I don't think age doesn't matter of what a guy wants in a relationship... rather it is the actions of what they do for commitment which most men actually do nothing about. That's why they always put in excuses. For me I think I'm ready because even when I don't have someone to commit to I try to keep myself clean for my future wife because if I want a serious relationship she is the one I will be spending the rest of my life. This is why I turn down girls that I don't think are serious, and when my "friends" tell me to come for a night out with girls I immeadiately get away from there as fast as I can.

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  • I'd like one right now.

    I'm 16, and still haven't even kissed a girl yet. Pathetic, I know. Ever since I was little I always wanted a girlfriend that I could be in a serious relationship with.

    My only problem right now is that there isn't much to choose from, or at least I'm picky. There is this girl I have a crush on right now, but I don't have any chance with her. She's gonna graduate soon, and I don't know how to approach her since I don't have any classes with her.

    Anyways, I want a serious relationship, but perhaps high school isn't the place to do it. I don't wanna wait until college, but I've noticed a trend going on: Seems every time it want something, I'm always waiting longer and longer.

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  • it depends on the guy.
    i've known guys as young as 14 who wanted something serious, and guys pushing 40 who wouldn't know serious if it bit them in the ass.

    generally, though, once teen years, and college/party years are done, and the guy wants to make an actual life for himself, he wants something real. usually 26 or 27.
    some guys want this earlier. some never even want the party bullshit. some guys want it later. some guys never want anything real.

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  • Spin up Missles 1 through 5, and 20 through 24. This is not a drill. I repeat this is not a drill. This is the Captain.

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    • Commitment? You are asking a man to commit, he must know that you love him first.

  • Personally I would love to be in a committed relationship right now. I am just so busy with working two jobs that I absolutely love and going to school full time I feel it would be unfair of me to involve a girl who would not be the top priority and would not get my fullest due to bring spread out so much between my other responsibilities :/ so I would like it to happen within the next few years

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  • Seeing as women are desperate for relationships but call for divorce much more than men, I think it would be better if you ask your gender when do they see themselves getting serious about relationships.

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  • Here's your first mistake - you are assuming that men think like women.

    We don't.

    We aren't raided to aspire to, and value our self worth on finding a happy ever after. We'll settle when we don't think we can find someone better. Just as it is our job as men to do the chasing, it's your job as women to show us that you're worth settling down for.

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  • When you women stop trying to rush things and enjoy the relationship

    Seriously, women are the ones who divorce all the time, but they ask questions like these

    You rush me, I move the finish line

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  • Everyone has reasons for not wanting relationships. not everyone is a commitment phone, so not sure how to answer :p xD

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  • Late 20s mostly but there are a few that do earlier

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  • The same age my brother did

    At 27-29

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  • I'm always serious in that regard, never goofed around when it came to wanting or being in a relationship.

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  • Im 19 gonna be 20 very soon and im in a serious relationship with my girlfriend. Im not trying to seal the deal via marrige until im out of college. And thats how serious i will be. I've got lots to focus on and it can't only be on that one person. If me and her break up thats how the cookie crumbles. Maybe this is what other guys think too

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  • I'm ready now if she wants to.

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  • I'm 18 and I'm only looking for a serious relationship right now. I just can't get a girlfriend

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  • Me personally, I will never be monogamous. So I will only settle with one until I cannot physically have others. Could be 40-50...60? I don't know.

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  • Can't be generalized... but i think 30ish for guy... but if guy falls for the one... he may be srs from that day onwards

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  • Nah. Always wanting something serious, now and for the years to come

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  • Heck, I'm totally ready to commitment myself now if the right girl comes along. Mind you, she'll also have to be the one to approach me and initiate conversations with me; because I'm seriously shy; would even call myself a massive introvert - but then again, sadly that's like asking God or whoever's in charge (if any) to stop all wars on this planet

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  • It depends on four factors: how mature the guy is (guys mentally and physically mature at different ages), if they like or love someone enough, if they are in a situation that allows them to be in a relationship, and if they are lookign for some stability in their lives.

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  • Never... I'm 24 and I decided I don't wanna date seriously... we live only for 70 years... I don't wanna waste ma precious time wid someone else...

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  • I am 23 years old. Sometimes I want a relationship... especially when I see girls I am very attracted to. But I cherish my freedom actually, to do anything I want and when I want. Right now I am doing business, 75k usd monthly at least, I am taking Legal Management and will take law soon, focusing more in business law. I go to gym, mildly flirt with women sometimes but respectfully, go out on friendly dates with beautiful women, have more time with my parents, bro, and sis, do what I love, go hiking, travel, I even plan to ride my motorbike on the ocean waves someday and yes it's possible. I had ex gfs... ended mutually... I think... all long term. Two beautiful Russian women and one very amazing Filipina woman. I even learn to speak their languages in that time hha. Oh and I did not have sex with them... I want to save it for my future wife... if... I am blessed with one... hopefully.

    Anyways... just enjoy my time now. Playing Fallout 4 now actually, this power armor. Any gamer girls? Hha kidding. Okay... so... basically... for freedom... as of now.

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