I met this guy and we're on the verge of dating. I really like him, and he asked me out, but I didn't give an answer yet because there were certain things I needed to think about. Now I think I've come to a conclusion, that I would like to date him, but one of the problems is that he lives in another city.
I know he's very attached to me sentimentally, but I'm afraid that if ever he meets some girl he wants to have sex with where he lives, and that because of me he doesn't do it, it may cause unnecessary drama. The thing is that I don't feel ready for anything sexual with him yet, so maybe he would hold a slight grudge if he had to sacrifice his sex life for someone who isn't even giving him anything yet... Or else maybe he would sleep with a girl and keep it a secret because he would feel guilty towards me, and that would drive us apart.
Things like that. I actually prefer him sleeping with other girls, than seeing our sentimental bond weakening because of it. The only thing I'm afraid of is that once, during a party, some girl was saying that she had hated it when her boyfriend had told her he didn't mind she slept with other guys -- and the guy I like agreed with her. He wasn't paying much attention at that moment, but it still had me thinking: do guys generally find it repulsive when the girl they like allows them more freedom? Also he has already been possessive with me, and I know I wouldn't even want to sleep with anybody else, so it would be a one way deal.
Honestly to most of us it will seem as if you do not like us enough to want us for yourself. So you're in a tough spot there.
You don't need to feel bad about this though. Reality is that we know what we're doing when we commit to someone. And we are doing it because being with them and sharing what we share is something we WANT. We're not forced, there's no gun to our head or anything. It is an active choice made fully aware of the likely effects.
Meaning: Your guy would be choosing you knowing that sex wouldn't really be a thing for the foreseeable future.
I'll pick up on your last comment first. If this guy, who you are not actually dating, is already being possessive of you then I would recommend that you walk away quickly. If he is behaving like that now you could have all sorts of problems later. I would suggest not seeing him again.
I read somewhere that it takes 5 seconds (or something like that) to fall in love. Or alt least know that you want to be with someone. That person you would not want to share. If you don't feel that way about a guy then you are not together, therefore you are not dating and are free to do what ever you like. If in time the two of you develop feelings for each other then you don't have sex with anyone else.
I've done this with girlfriends of mine, when we are dating we are each others. If we have split up, then we are not together. Just so long as both people know and understand the situation.
people seriously think this way? Might as well just right "Welcome" on your back since you are making yourself a doormat. Sounds like you wouldn't be dating anyway so I am not sure what all this convoluted thoughts are.
I don't understand the point of having a relationship if one or both people are still going to be sleeping with other people. I would never want to be in a relationship like that and if my boyfriend suggested it, I would not like it and it would make me reconsider the relationship.
If you want to have an open relationship then that's something you need to talk to your boyfriend about but it's not for everyone. If he agrees then cool, whatever works for you two. However, you should be prepared in case his reaction is more negative.