How do I tell my boyfriend that im a survivor of sexual assault?

I've been with my boyfriend a year and I haven't told him that I'm a survivor of childhood sexual assault. I've told very few people in my life and not even my own parents know of it. I have gotten therapy for it and it does not affect our relationship or sex life. I just feel that he's someone I have a future with and I think he should know. Even having had therapy I'm still anxious /nervous to talk about it. How do I tell him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You just do. Gatta work through it as hard as it is. Just sit him down privately. Tell him you have something to tell him but it's very hard for you to talk about so be patient with you. Go from there. Why haven't you told your parents? They should probably know to?

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    • Its a shame thing. Even so many years later, I'm still ashamed of what happened. I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't bring myself to tell them.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not an easy thing to talk about. But you've been with him long enough to trust him I think. Just wait for an intimate moment, like when you're cuddling or lying in bed together, and say "there's something you should know about me."

    Be prepared for him to freak out. I don't think he'll judge you, but he'll probably be very scared and sad that the girl he loves went through such a trauma. He may even react angrily, and want to punish whoever did that to you. Just reassure him and answer any questions he may have. You'll be fine. :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • "I want you to know I'm a survivor of sexual assult"

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  • He won't care

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you know him very well and trust him, I think you should, but explain to him first that you are nervous. Just tell him like you did here, you don't have to go into details.

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