Will I ever find love :( ?

I know i'm still really young at 17... but lately I've been feeling like I'll be single forever... which i really don't want. Maybe it's because of all the couples i see at school and then realized I've never had a girlfriend because I'm shy. The only reason why I'm so shy is because I've been insulted and disrespected for the majority of my life. I also have to consider that I'm not really attractive like people say i am... Its been so tough lately. I've had crushes on about 3-5 girls and couldn't even talk to most of them... it makes me mad because now I'll never know what some of those girls thought of me. The girl i like now will probably just end up the same exact way. Anyone else ever felt the same as me?
On top of that, my grades aren't all that great either... probably about average :/

Hopeless, pathetic, stupid, ugly... that's exactly how i feel about myself... to the point where I've been fucking depressed and have had suicidal thoughts... I don't know if i can go on much longer... it hurts man... seriously 😭

Ik girls want a guy that is smart, funny, good looking, and Loving/Caring bbut the only quality i have out of those is caring...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know I'm only 14, but as crazy and ridiculous as it sounds, but I get what you mean!

    In my grade, most girls have had their first boyfriend and their first kiss but I have not.

    I feel like what you're doing is right. Don't just go with anyone to be able to say you have a girlfriend, go with someone whom you truly have feelings for!

    The sad thing is, you may feel unwanted now, but you sound like a really sweet guy and I'm most definitely sure some girl will be honored to be your girlfriend! Don't worry, your princess will come around! Good luck!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude, for one, you look pretty fine actually. At least better than me so you have more chances. And you're playing American handegg so you're bound to find a girl at some point. Don't fret. I'm 20 and haven't had anyone yet so I have legit reasons to believe I won't at all. You still have a lot of potential.

    And don't worry about shyness, it can magically pass as it did for me. I was hyper shy 3 years ago - but today I'm not. At least not to that extent.

    Best of luck, dude.

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What Girls Said 12

  • If you can't find a girlfriend now then maybe you're not supposed to. All of this is gonna make the girl you do find more special and because you never had a girlfriend and are so shy you'll treat her like a queen and trust me, that is gonna make all the girls jealous. Looks don't matter tho, i thought of myself exactly the way you do (still do on occasion) also to the point of suicidal thoughts and i have to tell you to get out of that now bcz u are gonna get sucked in deeper and you will lose the way out. It's not easy AT ALL but u have to try. Maybe ask ur friends to introduce u to a few or if u see a girl u like and u are shy just walk past her and give her a short compliment, you don't have to stay and chat. But mostly get rid of those thoughts, you don't have to think u are good looking but don't think bad about urself, don't think anything of urself. If a girl wants to be ur girlfriend then she should see past all the hate feelings for urself, she would know why you feel/think that way and she would help u... if not, then she's looking for something else.

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  • There are just as many people in there mid to late 20's that that haven't had their first date, kiss etc.. as there are couples you see around school. More actually. Just look how many have replied to your thread as it is. I've known a handful as well. Even my only relationship worth mentioning didn't happen until i was almost 25. Thats seven years from where you are. For some its later than 25. Stop stressing about dating and enjoy being young. A girlfriend will probably sneak up on you when you least expect it. Remember there's still college - a totally different experience than high school and far less PDA.

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  • Dude, there is somebody out there for everyone. It's just a matter of finding them. That is the beauty of life. You're still in highschool, there is still a big bright beautiful world out there filled with girls and there is bound to be a few that are absolutely perfect for you. Don't give up hope just yet, or ever. :)

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  • you're 17. still a baby, u got nuthin to worry about.

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  • Sure, you might never find someone, but chances are that you will; you just have to reduce the social anxiety. The truth is that everyone gets insulted and disrespected at some point in their lives, even if they're the best looking and most intelligent people around, so don't think that reflects who you are in any way. If that's a picture of you, you are attractive, so that's not your problem; your problem is that you think you aren't.

    Plus, you can still change your situation with your current crush. Start small and remember that she's just a person; she's no different from you... for the most part. You just need to lighten up; it is that easy. But even if things end up the same with her, there will be plenty of others, so don't worry too much about it. And, you can improve your grades, but you need to have will and keep your ambition in mind at all times... if it is your ambition, that is.

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  • Boy, don't be hating on yourself. A lot of girls don't want "super smart nerd", they just want a guy who's not a COMPLETE idiot. You seem like a nice guy. And I doubt some chicks gonna turn you down because you're face isn't Ryan Gosling-level. If she does then screw her. I would turn down a funny a hole for a dude who's truly loving and caring any day. Seriously, you're fine. Nobody truly thinks they're good looking unless a lot of people tell them that, and even sometimes still not, or if they're an arrogant a hole. Trust me, you will find love, because you just got to remember there is a lot of girls out there feeling the same way. I oftentimes think I won't ever find love, and hate on myself, and think I'm ugly, and tell myself I don't have barely any friends, but in the end I remember that I'd rather not have a boyfriend then get my heart broken by some jerk. There is hope, you are NOT pathetic, you don't seem stupid to me, and you really aren't ugly. Hang in there! I suggest you find interest in a girl who isn't going to treat you like trash. Those girls are the people who get the crap beaten out of them by girls like me. Remember, there's more to life than high school crushes and those d bag dudes who treat everyone like crap. 😌

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  • Boy! i understand exactly how you feel & it's really tough at times and it can lower your self confidence but i also think to myself is dating at such a young age really worth it? I mean do you really wanna go through all the drama, cheating , jealousy etc. ? You should feel lucky that you haven't been through that yet and although i haven't been in a relationship ever i feel like dating is probs really overrated too just work on loving yourself in the meantime (what i'm doing) and then look for girls that are nice and worth your time. You're most likely a really good person and if some people can't see that than f*** them!

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  • oh shut up and stop being so sad.

    from your picture you are adorable!! stop feeling sorry for yourself, if a girl doesn't find you interesting it's HER loss. not yours. you look good, and if you're caring and loving then you'll find that one girl that will appreciate you. maybe it's just not your time. hang in there. you're only 17...

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  • Hear me out just stay single until the moment you find someone too many people in high schools are jerks. Now a days most just want to bang and that's it. Just let faith decide for you :) I'm doing that because every time I like someone and try to be with them they date other girls or don't want me 3 times in a row this year not going to waste my time anymore.

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  • Nope, you're 17 now and believe me it goes on like that forever.

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  • There is no love.

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What Guys Said 18

  • You need to find something that gives you a sense of purpose. Something that will distract you from all the negative thoughts running around in your head, and something from which you can gain some confidence.

    Success with women is about much more than most people think. Looks help but attitude and behavior is very important too. Right now, you've lost perspective, which is very easy to do at your age, and men (and women for that matter) without the proper prospective often struggle with dating. You're placing far too much value into having a girlfriend, and it's not attractive. I guarantee you come off as nervous and unconfident and perhaps even desperate, none of which is attractive.

    I can't stress enough how important having a positive attitude is. No one really wants to be around a pessimistic person that is always or usually in a bad mood. People want to be around positive people with a good grip on life and who put them in a better mood.

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  • 1. You are not shy because you have been insulted and disrespected. You are shy because you are.
    _ Take responsibility for your own shit _

    2. Average grades is fine, and you look like a damn fine motherfucker, I won't say ugly at all.
    _ Stop beating yourself up over false pretences _

    3. Talk to girls, they won't eat you up. Just talk, don't expect them to become your girlfriend the moment you start talking. See if you get along, build a good friendship and see if you develop feelings for them in the process. If you do, tell them. And 'feelings' is not what you are feeling right now. A good rule to know when you are in love is , try to fill in this blank
    "I am in love with her because..."
    her ass is so hot / her face is so pretty / her voice is so sweet / she's so famous / she's rich / she's so caring / she's so sexy
    ^^^ if you fill that blank with any of that , you are not in love.

    When you think hard about it and still can't fill in that blank, then tell her you like her. Because love is when you don't know why you are in love with the person.

    4. Give at least 2 hours a day.. Not asking much, just 2 hours in 24.. Get 2 hobbies and try to excel at it. One physical and one mental.

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  • I'm in the same situation but I'm 18...

    It might not get better! And it might get better.
    Talk to as many girls as you can...

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  • You seem to be a loner.
    Life's not just about girls, its also about hard work, about patience. You've taken those insults been disrespected, that's not an easy thing. You're still alive. Still young. Focus on your studies. Make some friends who motivate you. When you're alone there's nothing around to inspire you. Get social.

    Lets come to girls part. Girls won't even think of you if you don't talk to them. I have a friend who weighs 100 kilos and is 19. Really fat and a decent look. But even he won a girl, how, he has a bloody good sense of humour. Conclusion-girls love humor

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  • Dude. Stop feeling upset. I look a little like you. I had the best of chances and still messed up or did not take them. I used to feel the same. But you soon forget it and move on. One day you will eventually find that person who will like you back. It is an amazing feeling to get back the love you are giving.

    Most importantly, love yourself, or no one else will.

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  • You look good from your pic just need some modifications, shave your head entirely , and head to gym grow some muscles , try to study hard , intelligence has nothing to do with grades it has to do with working your ass of , don't feel hopeless or pathetic just be strong man, and since you don't like yourself then change it

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  • Well the only way to go about it is to find a girl whom you find attractive and she actually likes you. It helps if you talk to her like a person and not "a girl you want to date".

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  • Hello, looks like you're having a rough night. First of all, you're definitely not a bad looking guy & thats coming from a straight man. My problem has always been a fear of being rejected & it still causes me problems. Figure out what keeps you from reaching for that one girl you've aways wanted to get with & conquer it. Use that conquered fear to get the girl that is perfect for you.

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  • WTF, you're 17. It is a little early to be counting yourself out. I had never kissed a girl or been on a real date when I turned 17.

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  • Is this just the hour of, "will I ever find love?" This is like the fifth one of these I've answered.

    No you will die alone, of bullet wounds, because you have too much blow and cash. You don't need a girl, no one does. Get a motorcycle, they don't bitch and moan when you go out on a stag.

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  • That shyness has to be BROKEN! Stop being afraid of rejection and talk to these girls. 😄💙

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    • The guys who get girlfriends deserve them, because they have been through rejection and took the risk of being rejected, and have eventually "struck gold".

      You on the other hand, are AFRAID of the word "no" from a girl that u won't even casually speak to her? You don't deserve a girlfriend until u start taking the risks these other guys have!

      #100

  • Right champ, couldn't relate to this better.
    I'll tell you something for nothing, bitches like that ain't worth shit. I've had my heart breaks and never been put together again. But as you'll get older your start maturing and understanding this business. Hope this helped and good luck.

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  • It's too early to throw in the towel. You just gotta learn how to talk to people in an interesting way. Don't force conversations, but be sure to keep them interesting. Also, don't go after unattainable goals. If you don't think you're good enough from the start, that's gonna show in the way you talk to them.

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  • I'm 29, never dated. I might be single forever, youstill have a lot of time

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  • Hello 17 year old me. It's nice to meet you. Your future self says you won't find anyone until you're at least my age.
    Trust your future self.

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  • You're only 17... just work on yourself first

    I'm 26 and still haven't even gone on one date... and never had a girlfriend

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  • you could find love strait away by beginning to love yourself more first

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  • No you won't

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