26 year old male virgin, is it too late for me?

I'm 26 years old and I've been suffering from social anxiety and severe shyness ever since my early teenage years. The problem is, it's kept me from developing properly socially, and as such I've never been in a relationship with a woman. Although I have quite a few female acquaintances, I have always been seen as the "good male friend" and never a potential partner.

At my age, this is something that is generally looked down upon by society, and I fear that, even if I were to finally meet someone, they would think me weird, defective or a freak. In addition to that, if I ever got to the point where sex could happen with a partner, I fear that I'd be terrible at it due to my complete lack of experience, which I imagine would be a huge turn off to women.

I've never asked a girl out before. I know that sounds weird but the whole thing terrifies me. There have been times I have been tempted to in the past but the thing that pops into my head is "girls don't like guys like you, you're a ugly loser, she would never want to be with you" so I end up never going ahead with it. The thing is (this may sound weird) I've only ever had romantic feelings for a girl three times in my life. Needless so say, none of them went anywhere and they stayed merely as crushes. I tried online dating for nearly 3 years as well but it went absolutley nowhere.

Whilst being a virgin does worry me at my age. I'm more concerned with finding a woman I can connect with emotionally and share a romantic bond with but I know most women would never, ever want to date a guy in my position and I know no women find me attractive, afterall I would have been with someone by now if that was the case. Part of me wants to give up, if I haven't found anybody by now it's unlikely I'll ever find them.

Are people really as judgmental about never having a girlfriend/relationship as I've been lead to assume, or am I imagining things? Is it just too late for me at this point?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The little voice inside your head is at war with the real you and the little voice winning. My last question is going to be why do you keep on listening to the little voice and if you choose to do that why can't you turn the volume down? But again that is my last question let's move on. At age 26 you have your whole life ahead of you. All the hype about being James Bond when you're 21 is all advertisements, hype, what you see in the movies and is all actually a load of crap. In order to sell newspapers and advertisements for Tide or diapers all of reality is sensationalized to be bigger and larger than real life. You have fallen for that shit.

    No matter what guys or girls brag about most people in the 20s don't know crap about sex. They think they're fantastic but reality is that that's a load of baloney hiding insecurity. It's like watching porno. If you watch porno every guy has a huge penis. So every guy out there thinks that's normal when in actuality the guy was hired because he had a huge penis. And you tend to believe that every girl wants rectal sex when in reality very few actually do. Now, take all of those lies and pile them on a guy who already has social anxiety disorder and he is going to be even more uptight. Uptight about everything.
    You don't have to have romantic feelings about a girl to ask her out. You can ask a girl out just to do something. One of those female acquaintances could always go rollerskating with you. And by the way any girl who tends along with you as a female acquaintance doesn't necessarily view you as someone they would not want to date. Otherwise they wouldn't hang with you in the first place. It's not them telling you you're a loser it's the little voice in your head with the volume turned way up. What's the worst that could happen? They can't throw you in a pot and cook you for dinner! So you get rejected. If you get rejected, big fucking deal! And no society does not look down upon a virgin at age 26. An answer me this, who the hell what the hell is society?
    I'm a bad example because I would have sex with a tree if it asked me but reality is very few people in their early 20s have a good grasp about how to go about having sex doing sex etc.

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    • I encourage you to hang out with girls and apparently you do that also so if you hung out for a while if one individually for dinner or rollerskating or anything in which you have a common interest like a movie. Be surprised if you nonchalantly through that out many girls would probably say yes. And now my final question, why the hell are you listening to the voice inside you with the volume turned up. That voice does not represent who you are. We all have that little voice – "my boobs are too small, my nose is too big I look like a pig, I got a pimple right on my nose, my hair looks like crap my face looks like crap, my ass is too big – that's my little voice and I try to keep the volume dial way down.

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    • I think it's too late for me unfortunately. Short of a girl making a move on me, I don't see it ever, ever happening.

    • Got damn man, @SexyStudent gave you fantastic advice. She is absolutely correct. You need to get out of your own head and just get the fruck out there! Hell, I still have the same type of issues as you do. My social anxiety is most of the time off the freaking charts. Hell, I'm 33 (even though for some reason it's saying I'm younger smh) and am still a virgin. I've been intimate with a few girls in high school, but never went all the way because of my faith and conservative upbringing. But there's no way in hell I'm letting that get to me. There are women all over who love that guys aren't out screwing any and everything in their site. Listen to them! Tell your "voice" to pipe down like I do. It's hard, but it can be done. It's not going to be an overnight change. It's going to take time to get those negative thoughts out. Everyone battles those.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Life is not fair and unfortunately you will have to break through the shyness and nervousness if you want a dating life

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 14

  • Back in the 40s, men were marching up beaches of Normandy and saving the world

    Now in the 00s, lots of men are afraid of girls lol

    what the hell happened? Ya you should fix all that shit that is preventing you from having a good life man

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  • I think you're just used to putting yourself down thinking you're an ugly loser for whatever reason, and also have been unlucky. Finding a girl who likes you is all about luck.

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  • If you are worried about your virginity just get hookers. Spend time with them. Maybe it will help overcome your anxiety over women. Any company that inlcudes females should help you a little. Even hookers.

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  • i totally know what you mean... have you at some just given up and accept your fate?

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    • Yes, pretty much. I do it a lot.

  • Yes. I'd tell you to alpha up, but you're already too beta.

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  • You've got a simple choice. Either be confident and ask a girl out, or wimp out and stay a virgin for the rest of your life. Your call, man.

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  • Hookers

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  • I doubt it.

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  • That sucks dude. What is being a wizard like?

    1. Get your shit together
    2. Get to the gym
    3. Organize your place
    4. Find some hobbies that women also do (Pro Tip: take a cooking class (improvise the rest))

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  • I am 30 and a virgin. Go figure.

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  • nahd at all

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  • haha what a faggot. you are a loser for me not because you fail at women which is natural, but because you never fucking cared to grow personally and build something good for your life.

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    • you can at least start doing that now. do your self and your surrounding people a favor... .

  • If prostitution's legal where yer livin'... then there's NO excuse to be a virgin... and don't start tellin' me about yer STD-phobias and such shit... if it's illegal OK... better give up if it really bothers ya findin' a partner...

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  • 4 more years and you can become a wizard

    P. S na maybe you just need to do some speed dating or a wing man? Or maybe your not trying to get one because there's not really such a thing as go with the flow, if opportuneity is given to you make the move, if you fail then try again

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