Do you think it's stupid that I want to "wait" for a girlfriend, not "find" one?

I feel like I should not put effort into finding a girlfriend, but instead focus on me until a girl comes along who I really feel for?

I'd really like a girl to go on some fun dates and not focus too much on relationships. I'm not saying I just want a fling, I'm just saying I'd like the relationship to form naturally...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. It's better , seeming desperate is always a turn-off and sometimes you just gotta wait for the right one to come 💕

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I want it to be like you say. What women may not understand is that when you put energy into your career or body, it's indirectly putting effort into relationships and attracting women. Schwarzenegger didn't have to work hard picking up girls, with a body like that, but oh he worked hard in the gym, so I don't fault you for that, and also, if you have experience rushing into rejection with women, it can be disheartening and cost you sanity, so I don['t fault you there. You are young, so these are the best years to build your career and life, but I also want you to find a mate.

    Regarding what the girl said below, with all due respect, going on tinder is not putting that much work into finding someone. If that is what young people think is work, GMAFB. Tinder is one of the most passive ways you can go about finding a partner. You can swipe right just standing in line at the bank. I'm happy she met her mate there. I'm happy for people in happy relationships.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If I didn't go on Tinder I would never have met my boyfriend and been in this happy of a relationship. I wouldn't have found my soulmate.

    Love doesn't just happen. It actually does require work and effort. I see it will my friends. They act surprised that I'm one of the few with a boyfriend but I see none of them actively trying and now they are lonely and stuck.

    I'm not saying make it life goal number 1 and revolve everything around it but love isn't going to come knocking on your door and anyone who thinks that will be disappointed. This isn't fairytale land.

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What Guys Said 9

  • "focus on me until a girl comes along who I really feel for?"

    okay you can do that, but when she finally does come around the corner, do something about it.

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  • Well technically you just have to be lucky and find a likeable person who likes you. It does make sense to not be actively looking if you can find someone without actively looking.

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  • Like anything you have to put in the effort. So sure work on you but probably try to do it where you can be found. Finding things can be hard if they are intentionally hidden.

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  • If u put effort into it, the chances of finding it increase. U just have to look for a girl who is looking for the same thing and you guys accept each others as who you are.

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  • I believe you should focus on you two, I don't think it's stupid, focusing on your self is way more important because you won't have to keep obsessing or thinking about getting with a girl and you can spend more time enjoying what you like to do and getting more comfortable with yourself.

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  • Your wish serves you right. But to when this will happen I do not know.

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  • A girl would not just pop out of the blue be your girlfriend. Even genie in a bottle can't get you a girlfriend, you have go get it yourself

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    • I never said "to be my girlfriend".

      If you had read the OP properly you would realise I want to focus on dating...

  • I used to wait up hoping it could flash someday, but it never did, even when i am searching, i never ever managed to get one. Never had a girlfriend.

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    • Well I've done the looking and I have found, but I think taking some time off and working on me will get me centered in life and that will attract better women.

  • You can "wait", but if you're not looking, how will you know when you " find" one.
    Good luck! All just sounds like semantics to me.

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