Cheated on my girl and feeling guilty, How to deal with it?

I was out of town for a while and there met this other girl , after sex now I'm feeling guilty. However I'm sure that she won't find and I can hide it from her.
I think I need time to handle the situation rather than telling her. What is best for me to do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am currently considering divorcing my husband and cheated on him (more than once) with a guy I have been friends with for a really long time; my husband has been accusing me of having an affair with this guy for the past 15 years. Even though I want a divorce, I feel really guilty and it has been eating away at me. There is no way I can tell him what I did; he would likely kill me. If things were well between us, and he cheated on me, as much as I woyld want the truth, that would be the end. If you want to be with your girl and this is never going to happen again, I would suggest dealing with the guilt and keep it to yourself.

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    • You're a horrible person. I feel bad for anyone who has th misfortune of associating with you.

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    • @SoSoSoConfused some people are very quick to be judgmental about things. And some people are very comfortable being jerks while standing behind the wall of Internet anonymity.

    • Oh that's depressing...
      Why don't you call the Police... And then get a divorce? You definitely deserve better... He won't be able to hurt you if the Police gives you protection...

      And sorry for being so harsh...

      Yesterday there were too any questions about cheating and it was mostly the girl cheating so it pissed me off so much that I took it out you Sorry

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't tell her if you really regret and make sure this will never ever happen again.

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    • Dude... that's the worst advice ever. Why would you suggest that?

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    • @ThisDudeHere Yes I won't tell.

    • You should be ashamed of yourself, OP.

What Girls Said 32

  • It's amazing how many people think it's okay for you to lie to your girlfriend and let her believe everything is all peachy keen between you, that couldn't be a more cruel thing to do. You should never let someone live a lie because then when the truth of that lie comes out, it hurts even more then it should have. It also becomes a bigger issue, then the one at hand. It goes from being about cheating to the fact that you cheated but also lied about it, which makes it worse.

    So, this is how it stands. You already hurt her, even though she doesn't know what you did, you still hurt her. Everybody knows that, except her. So, you have two choices. Choice 1: You let her live a lie and believe everything is great and your the wonderful faithful man that she cares for and knows would never betray her. Or Choice 2: You could bite the bullet and take accountability for your actions and tell her the truth. And, let the chips fall where they may.

    You also have to choose what kind of man you want to be, do you want to be the kind of man that makes a mistakes, knows it was mistake, takes responsibility for that mistake and deals with consequences that may come from it. Or, do you want to be the kind of man that makes a mistake and uses a lie to cover it up, followed by another lie and another lie and never ending trail of lies to cover up one mistake. Which in turn, just makes everything worse, for everyone involved.

    Those are the choices to make but they are ultimately your choices to make, no know one can do that for. It's all up to you but remember (as cruel as this may sound). You hold her happiness in your hands and do you want her happiness to be real or based on lie you told, which do you think is better? Real happiness or happiness forged on a lie?

    Hopefully, you make the right choice but what ever choice you make. You have to live with it and so does she. Good luck.

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  • You need to be honest and tell your girlfriend what happened. Don't be even more deceitful and sleazy by lying. That brings your selfishness to a whole nother level. She deserves to know and make an informed decision for herself and her life. You have no place or right to be making the decision of her accepting you for her.

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    • What if she leave then? I don't want to miss her.

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    • drop me a PM asker... lets see how we can soften the blow for her

    • @far2gud4u Ok


  • If you feel guilty and know you won't do it again and that she'll never find out (make certain) then don't tell her. Live with your own mistake and save her the heartache

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    • This... Here's the deal. You fucked up. It's your mistake. You need to deal with it yourself.

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    • And I think an omission would be for the worst.

    • @ThisDudeHere @tattooedhandfet I think it's safe to say you two aren't going to agree on this. Can we call it a day?

  • And... this is why I'm afraid of getting romantically involved with anyone.

    I'd advise you to tell her. She deserves to know the truth and decide for herself whether or not she still wants to be your girlfriend.

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  • You honestly need to tell her and get the both of you tested for STD's. I have a friend who's boyfriend is away for college football. He had sex with some girl (he says was protected) and gave his girlfriend Chlamydia. It's messed up, he was my friend's first and everything. Now she's sick and can't afford medication, she's scared to death and the poor thing is only 17. Please tell her and make sure you both get tested. The only reason her boyfriend found out was because his team requires they take blood testing for the presence of drugs. If they didn't do that God knows what else could've happened.

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  • Wow, so you think hiding this is going to be more helpful than being honest? I hope your girlfriend finds out. That is the scummiest thing I have ever heard.

    Do you really want this secret looming over your head all your life?

    The best thing for you to do is to be honest with your girlfriend. She deserves to know the truth.

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    • The other girl is her friend so I think hide it is a better option she will lose a friend too.

    • She's not much of a friend if she did that, just saying. I hope someone tells her.

  • Honestly you should tell her the truth. I've only found out that telling the truth alleviates your guilt. Asking for forgiveness. Explain. And you should see it as a test for your relationship. If she truly lovess you as she proclaims to, she will forgive you. If not, you have your answer. Maybe this is an opportunity to see how much you guys care for each other. Tell her because she deserves it, because we all find out and she will see you as a long-time regret. I am curious though, do you not love her? Why cheat on someone you love? How would you feel if she cheated on you behind your back constantly, felt bad at times. Wouldn't you want to know?

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  • The best thing you can do is tell her.

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  • She will find out, we always do...

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    • PM me if you want advice on this though... I saved a friend from losing his girlfriend

    • Hahahaha Sorry but this trust in women instincts is very enjoyable to my eyes. Yes you always do. no doubt

    • @pharaoh_lover48118 the reason we act so unbalanced is because ironically we are too balanced so we know when something is off... It's why PMS is such a pain because it knocks us too :(

  • She deserves to know and make her own desicion to go or stay.
    Especially if you're having unprotected sex with both of them. What if that other girl possibly gave you something. Don't put your gfs health at risk.

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  • Not judging here, just curious... what were your reasons for cheating? Was it just that the opportunity presented itself and it seemed too good to pass up on at the time?

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    • Reason was simple to get sex. I was out of town and take that opportunity.

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    • That just happened without any plan or something that I do everytime.

    • Well, if you do it every time you are out of town for no real reason at all, you need to be honest with her and tell her you want to live life as a single person. If it was a one-time thing that will never happen again, it's probably best to just keep that to yourself. Chalk it up to being a lesson learned.

  • I keep reading the whole thing of you don't want to miss her or you love her. Did you miss her when you were out of town obviously not. Did you love her when you were out obviously not. So I'm sure you'll get over it quicker if you just told her the truth. Woman always find out and if she decides to stay it will not be easy the common insecurities always calling never trusting you again. All for your selfishness what if she did this to you and her excuse to not tell you was that she loved you and didn't want to miss you. Sex with someone else is huge when your committed to someone your giving yourself to them for that moment something that is suppose to be special between you guys. Tell her don't keep lying to her for your selfishness she deserves better and you know it she deserves better than someone like you.

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  • Confess!

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  • I think it's best to be honest with her. If she somehow finds out about it from anyone else, you'll have a 0% chance of not getting dumped. In my opinion, cheating is always inexcusable. However, she might give you a second chance if you're lucky. Sure, you messed up, and there's a chance that she'll dump you. If that doesn't happen, just make sure you never cheat on anyone else in the future.

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  • If you are feeling guilty. Confess. It goes a lot further than even the slightest possibility of her finding out on her own and it will release your guilt.

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  • One thing girls hate about men is you guys lie a lot. Don't lie tell her, she most likely break up with you but you brought that on yourself.

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  • You're going to live with that guilt man... Do what you think is best, just don't hurt her.

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  • Tell the truth before it eats you up. You should be guilty. You broke your commitment with her in a relationship. You shouldn't have cheated on her. It's better to be known as the one cheated on than the one who cheated on him\her. So your the one who cheated on her and you should be guilty. Just rip it off like a band aid and tell her. If you wait it'll be worst either way. But if she's one of those calm girlfriends that understands then I don't know.

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    • I love her and don't want to make her sad.

    • Answer this question. Do you really love her enough to not cheat on her? I know your sad right now that you did this but how would you feel if you were in her shoes? That you didn't know your girlfriend cheated on you. Wouldn't you like to know?

    • Just be honest with her that's all I'm saying.

  • Prepare your breaking up conversation that's the best you can do.

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  • Come clean with her

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  • You need to tell her about it. You don't want to be that asshole.

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  • Imagine if your girlfriend went out of the town and had sex with another guy, what would you want her to do?

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  • Tell her, that's the only way to get rid of the guilt.

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  • What if you caught an std?

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    • I used safety.

    • You can still catch herpes and warts with a condom on because they spread all over the skin. And the rest too... a condom just lowers the risk.

  • Wallow in your self hatred, it's what you deserve.

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  • I want to say that you should be honest, but that will only make her feel bad. A lot of times people tell just to get rid of the guilt, which is actually a really selfish reason.

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  • Never cheat again is the best thing to do. Don't tell her, nobody gets any happier from that. And make a mental note not to dump her if she ever cheats (the first time at least) because it'd be a tie. That's how my mind works at least.

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  • You cheated because "the opportunity presented itself"? Seriously!

    You obviously dont care about her enough to control yourself. The fact that you cheated because you were given the chance tells me that you'll cheat again and again.

    And since you dont care much about her... you'll lie and have completely forgotten about this "guilt" you say you have in a week.

    You obviously can't handle a comitment so my advice to you if you want because a decent human behing. Is break up with her. Avoid "relationships" and play the field.

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    • I care about her cause I love her I want to have a family with her.

  • You're so pathetic. On top of the fact that you cheated, you're gonna lie to her too?

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    • Its not lie, its just saying nothing.

    • but by choosing to not saying anything, you're letting her live a lie. You're not being truthful about things and that's gonna hurt her more. Own up, you didn't stumble into that girls vagina. You made a decision and you need to handle the consequences.

  • Don't be a dick tell her what you did

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What Guys Said 28

  • iam astonished at how some people just "cheat" like that... seriously man you had a girlfriend and you obviosuly care about her, couldnt you control your urges for a week or two? iam pretty sure you did a damn fine job controlling it for 17-18 years until you got laid.

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    • THIS guy gets it ^

    • @equiiaddict I've been in relationships before and i know that if you care you dont cheat , hell if you are dating you dont cheat, i know some guys find it dumb but this is one of the principals i live by " if iam with a girl, regardless of how much i love or care about her iam not going to cheat on her"

  • Are you willing to let your girlfriend live a lie? Do you deserve this lady if you can't be honest with her? How would you feel if SHE was hiding infidelity from you?

    Be a real man. Tell her the truth. Be prepared to face the consequences.

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    • I don't want to miss her.

    • You lowered your manly was by cheating now make it up by telling her be a real man

  • Be a man and be honest.

    What if she did that to you?

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  • Whatever your reasoning was, a real man lives up to his actions. And your action in this case was breaking the trust of your girlfriend. And the only way to live up to it is to be honest with her. If you don't, you're a coward, plain and simple.

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  • tell her and then just deal with the outcome and try to make better decisions in the future alright?

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  • You can tell her about it and this will hurt her bad and maybe she won't be able to forgive you so you would break up so the result is you both hurt and your guilt is still their.
    Or you won't tell her and she won't be hurt and you will promise yourself to not do it again and try to keep your sh*t together in order not to lose her , and consider your inner pain is a well deserved punishment for what you did.

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    • ^^This

      See, this is why you don't cheat. Either path you chose is always going to be painful. The only difference is one path will lead you to a definite break up and the other... you just don't know. Whether she finds out eventually or not, whether you learned your lesson or not, fight for her and everything else is a completely blurry and unsure road.

      What they have in common though, is that the guilt will still be there no matter what. Good luck man!

    • @Humping_Tornadoes I'm not sure man but I think you meant this as an answer for the question not a replay to my opinion LOL

  • deal with it by not being a pussy and telling her. You fucked up, own it and it's no longer about what is best for you. If you want to forever lie and carry that lie, go for it... karma has a way of working things out.

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  • Be a man and confess. If you don't then you really aren't feeling all that guilty at all.

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  • As a guy who's cheated you got two options: Keep it to yourself and hope she doesn't find out. But that guilt will never die. Or u can come clean and take what's coming. If u do that, u can deal with the shit storm but at least you'll get it off your chest. If it's gonna come out then it's better that u tell her up front. Better then her finding out some other way. It's up to you. Bite the bullet and hopefully you'll get some credit for coming clean, or hope n pray it will go away. It's a toughie.

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  • Tell her, she deserves to know, obviously you might loose her, either way no one wants to live in a lie, she thinks you are fateful and it didn't turn out to be the case. If you love her so much don't hide it. You had the guts to be unfaithful to her, have the guts now to tell her about it and let her decide weather she want be whit you or not.

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  • Be completely honest and tell her and tell her you know it was dick move and if she wants to break up you will move on asap. Cause there's virtually no reason to stay other than if she wants you to that you should stay. And just tell her she deserves better. Just show her you know you done effed it up and you got the balls to admit the truth its better than it going to diarrhea on you.

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  • Be cool. If you're sure she'll never find out then just resolve to better in the future.

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  • First thing you should do, is introspect into yourself. Dive uncomfortably deep into your psyche, and figure out why you cheated.

    Are u not enjoying the relationship anymore? Are you not sexually compatible with your girlfriend? Are you not built for monogamy? Is there a substance influence that affects your judgment?

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  • Deal with it and don't do it again. No good will come from telling her.

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  • be a man and break up w/ her.

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  • Do it again it cancels out

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  • Do you want to keep her, but the guilt to eat you alive? Don't tell her

    Do you want to lose the guilt, but have a high chance of losing the girl? Tell her

    It's on you

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  • Let go of the guilt. Hide it. Avoid the drama. Im a master liar and excellent at deciet so I would be able to lie and get away with it. She probably won't ask though

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  • Hey, she is a human being who is suspectiple to cheating as well. Congrats you stud.

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  • You cheated, just hide it and don't do it again

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  • Date the new girl and cheat with your current girlfriend.

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  • I don't think that you should tell her, because it will ruin your relationship, and it doesn't have to go like that. However, you should never do this again, because it's just wrong. You live and you learn

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  • Tell her and beg for her to forgive you

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  • Ok if she's not a good girlfriend then don't tell her. Because womens are bitches. But you must know that you do something wrong.
    But if she's nice with you and respect you... Then I don't know... Ahhh I feel sorry about you... I think tell her and if she's let you then you will have a hard time but you'll be ok then...

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  • You're a fuck face

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  • Be a man and tell her and let her decide what she wants to do, you low life scum

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  • tell her after you have amazing sex because its gonna be the last time

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  • make sure you set the mood right as in if she's in a good mood then tell her kinda way just not special events and stuff because then your fked, also make sure you tell her face to face so you want to be serious and that your ready to face consequence but you still love her, if she needs a break or other things etc, because if she still loves you she won't break up with you but might need some time to have alone time.

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