We locked eyes for a few seconds, then all of a sudden I became attracted to him. Why do I all of a sudden feel a very strong attraction to him?

His name is Robert and he's my friends cousin. I've seen him in photos so many times and he wasn't someone who ever stood out to me as attractive. I didn't think he was ugly, but I didn't think he was cute either. I guess I just didn't think about it.

I met him for the first time two weeks ago at a lunch my friend organized. We chatted for about 5 minutes. Still I didn't think anything of it.

Later that evening a big group of us went to a bar. I was sitting at one end of the bar chatting with a group of friends. He was sitting across the bar, but facing me. My back was to him. I knew he was sitting there, and for some reason I had a sudden urge to look at him and check if he is wearing a wedding ring. I don't know why I thought to do that when I never thought he was attractive. But I did. And as I was searching for a wedding (that I did not find) he caught me staring at him. We locked eyes for maybe 3 to 5 seconds, then he looked away, and I looked away. I didn't look back, so I don't know if he looked at me again. He left early that night and I haven't seen him since.

Since then I feel REALLY attracted to him. It's been two weeks and I think of him all the time. I looked him up on facebook and found out he has been divorced for 3 years. I don't want to approach him because he is my friend's cousin and I think he is off limits.

I'm just trying to understand how I all of a sudden became so attracted to him to the point that I can't stop thinking about him?

I am talking to 2 other guys (not serious) but I feel like I'm not interested in either of them. Why did I all of a sudden feel this strong attraction and connection to Robert?


What Guys Said 1

  • Contact Robert for a date. This will help accomplish 1 of 2 things.
    1) either you will learn things about him that you don't find attractive and will now turn you on or 2) you will enjoy yourself and go on more dates with him and have a potential boyfriend.

    • I feel like I can't do that until I see him again and gauge his level of interest. I've had a lot of bad experience with approaching the guy first that I'm really scared to. And how can I tell from this one encounter that there is interest on his end?

      Plus the fact that it's my good friend's cousin makes it awkward too. I feel like he is off limits.

    • Maybe Rob is shy and won ever approach you. Just ask him out to dinner. Enjoy yourself and try to learn about him. You should be able to gauge his interest level w/ one date.

      He's not your cousin.
      If you still feel weird ask your friend for his number. Your friend should give it to you and ask why. Tell her it's for a date.

    • Oh I don't know.. I guess I'll run it by her and tell her that I think he's cute and see what she says.

What Girls Said 1

  • Chemistry

    • But what does that mean? That he possibly feels the same way?

    • Yep maybe he got the same little feeling you did, you'll know for sure in how he acts around you he may seem a little more interested than usual etc

    • yeah I'll guess I have to wait until I see him again, which won't be for a while. he doesn't live in the same city as me.