How long have you waited to have sex typically when dating a guy you loved?

Sex has always been a problem in my relationships. After I give love and romance the women I date still never seem to want to have sex. It makes me feel like they do want to be intimate but then they say they want more romance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't wait to be in love to have sex. I've only ever in love with one man, my current boyfriend and he wasn't my first. My first time was based on trust and I was conformable with him so sex felt obvious.
    After that, I was single and I didn't want to put sex on hold. With my boyfriend, we began as something sexual and grew feelings afterwards. We got to know each other physically and emotionally, we spend a lot of time together and I realized after a while I in love I was with him. I can't really imagine it otherwise.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like most girls have had sex by the second week of dating or even sooner with at least a few of their previous partners. So if by that point a girl hasn't expressed interest in sleeping with me Id just call things off.

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    • What? You have to realize that for us women, having sex is REALLY risky - from potential pregnancy to STDs to potentially damaged reputation - so it can take a while for us to develop trust for a guy.

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    • Even with guys we're REALLY attracted to, most girls won't go into a hookup with him without developing trust first. Girls who have sex with dudes really fast, are rare. Definitely a minority.

    • @mistixs
      Thats just what girls want guys to believe. you'll have sex/ send nudes right away to guys you think are out of your league and then play hard to get with everyone else.

What Girls Said 33

  • I've never had sex but if I feel like it, I'm gonna do it on the first date... why waiting goddammit? if I really like him, why not? he can put it inside and finish with the whole drama

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  • I have to be comfortable and trust the person to have sex. My guy and I waited about 3 months from the day we met and a bit over 2 months from our first official date.

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  • Taking off my clothes and getting intimate with someone is a very vulnerable thing. It takes me a while before I'm comfortable being vulnerable with someone new. I don't have any set wait time. It just depends on how comfortable I am with them.

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  • Two years
    3 months
    1 month
    1 week.

    Yes there is a drastic decline in my waiting period for two reasons. One- It does not matter how long you wait to have sex with a guy, his intentions are his intentions, and if he wants to hit it and quit it he will.

    Two - I have the right to have sex when I want, there are no rules to relationships. Having sex too early or later on doesn't equate to whether or not the relationship will or will not work. lt all comes down to you, and your partner. However, always practice safe sex, and good judgement. Listen to your gut.

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  • For me, I'd have to build trust and an emotional connection with the guy before I can get intimate.

    With my current guy, we met online and it was a whole month before we met in person. During that time, we established an emotional connection, which was further strengthened when we met in person. We had sex the night of the first day we met. It was magical :)

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  • If you can be in a 'serious' relationship with someone for 4-6 months, and they don't flip out about the lack of sex. Then it's appropriate. If after 2 weeks (or so), all they ask about is sex, then.. that's all they want. It's good to do this, so you don't come off as easy... or a pushover. If you sleep with someone after 2 days.. they may tell friends. And you will be known as easy.

    Most 'normal' people wait until 15-17. Some people lose it at 12. (they grow up to be the lovely faces that grace the strip clubs and street corners). Some wait til 18. And some wait til marriage. It matters what you feel. If you're 30, and don't feel ready, then dont do it. It will feel like 'self rape'. Don't be in a rush, like half the teens seem to be.

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    • What if after waiting 4-6 months the man has resentment?

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    • there is resentment because it makes you feel like she isn't attracted to you

    • Then it isn't resentment. It's your self-esteem getting to your head making you feel unattractive. You also have to try to see things through her perspective.

      She's with you because she likes you to begin with (its not like you have a gun to her head). So that attractive BS shouldn't even count.

      A lot of factors play in why she holds herself sex. To some people sex is something people do for fun, and for others it's opening their most personal deep feelings that would destroy them if they were used like someone's napkin. So they guard that very carefully until they are sure they can trust you with it.

  • Until I am comfortable. It takes time for some people to trust enough to do it and it could be nothing to do with you maybe she feels insecure with herself and needs to be secure enough that she won't scare you off etc.

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  • as an adult, I haven't fallen in I've until after the sex.

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  • I've never been in love and I don't plan on it anytime soon. But saying that, I've had sex with guys soon after we start hanging out, but I let them know beforehand I have no interest in a relationship. I don't see anything wrong with love or relationships, I just have personal issues I need to work out - eventually.

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  • Not long. Waiting is good, and all but it won't guarantee a lasting relationship. I actually feel more into the guy when/after we have sex. Sex connects people.

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  • I have sex almost immediately, if I like the guy. I don't really wait with a guy I know I want but if I don't like the guy then probably will never have sex with him.

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  • Honestly, if I don't feel like I have a huge connection with him in the relationship, I never have sex with them. That's probably why I've been virgin for 19 years

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  • There's no rule on this tbh. It varies from 3 days to a month for me. Sometimes it just feels right and you don't wait. Some of my friends waited till they're married haha

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  • I don't know, never been in love to be honesy.

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  • Anywhere from a week to 3 months.

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  • I have never been in love

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  • I ll have it nly atfter marriage..

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  • 3 date rule.

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  • They're scared you'll leave them if they fuck too fast.

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    • I know but in my case she waited for 4 years and when we finally had sex my resentment was so great that I left her. It was the opposite.

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    • But why did she want to wait 4 whole years? A lot of people say they want a relationship before fucking, but then the sex happens like a month or two after they meet...

    • wow that is shitty dude... very interesting perspective though, the waiting 4 years because you love her but leaving because of the resentment, I'm glad I noticed this comment.

  • I waited 6 months before sex

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  • A month

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  • Me and my boyfriend got intimate after around a month of dating exclusively. With that said, we connected very quickly and we both experienced love at first sight which made us feel attached very quickly.

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  • It depends on how long I've known him, honestly. If he's a stranger, about six weeks. I don't think people love each other after six weeks, though.

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    • This is generally longer for virgins and/or teens, though.

  • 3 months, never less.

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  • First guy: 3 months. After that I didn't hit it off with anyone I had actual feelings for but I did have 2 one night stands, which count as first date I guess. Someone I love, I'd first get to know as a friend, if we went out on an actual date Id kiss with them but nothing more and gradually build the tension because I feel serious relationships should not be rushed.

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  • I have normally waited a couple of weeks.

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  • When I have deeper feelings, I wait about a month. Although with guys I feel there won't be a connection but I get horny for them, I fuck on the fist date. Never had problems with this.

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  • Usually around 3-4 months. I don't fall instantly in love. It's a process.

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  • Honestly.. I met a man through Facebook and mutual friends. We talked for about a month and then we planned to meet each other in person... we had sex the second day we met. And now we are in a strong loving relationship with nothing but happiness and future in front of us

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  • My boyfriend pressured me into it, saying, "I'll marry you if you have sex with me", so I did, and then I got pregnant, then he went off with another girl, a girl that knew me and knew I was pregnant, then his mom forced him to stay until I had the baby, and we are still together 2 years later. If he doesn't propose this year, I am done with him... but anyway. I thought that he loved me at the time, and I believed him, and I was saving it for after getting married... So, it was 1 year.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I follow the 15 minute rule

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  • I don't wait for sex, but I'm not monogamous either.

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  • I'd probably only wait a month lol.

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  • I don't date men

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  • Just when you are both ready to but don't try to force it that never ends well

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