Is it a stupid strategy to continuously TRY to get a girlfriend?

I've still never been intimate with a girl in my entire life.

My best friend (who has had many girlfriends before) tells me it's because I keep trying to get a girlfriend. He told me to keep it "cool", and not activiely pursure women. He said to act like you're not interested, and when you do this, THEY will show interest in you.

Is this true? I've been rejected so many times, it angers me. I need a realistic solution


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's more like, when you're not too busy chasing after girls, you may even notice some girls are actually interested in you and talking to you. It's about relaxing. But make no mistake, things won't progress if you never show interest.

    Personally, I never understood the point in putting effort into getting someone you don't really even know. Good partners take time to get to know.
    Unless you're a deep believer in love at first sight...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say yes that's true, at least to a great extent, if you act cool and not pursue women, there is a good chance they can interest in you.

    However it's not a stupid thing to try for a girlfriend, I mean as long as you are not showing desperation.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's not stupid to be interested in finding a girlfriend.
    Being interested to hte point that you come across as willing to sacrifice anything, won't work too well. If a guy is willing to bend over backwards just to meet with you, that might make some wonder if he's really got anything going for him if he's able to so easily just blow off work and any other commitments.

    Acting distant, then interested, isn't good either. Playing hot and cold is best left in high school.

    Just find a girl who you're into and get along well. Flirt with her a bit, see if and how she reciprocates, and if she responds positively, you can build up to eventually just telling her you're interested.

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    • But I feel like I already do this.

      I know online interactions make it more difficult for real life encounters. But I suck at online dating too.

  • It's not bad to TRY to get a girlfriend, just don't try to force it because that's when things get complicated … and most girls can sence when you're trying to force it and it's usually a turn off.

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    • But he didn't mention anything about forcing myself upon girls.

      He literally meant try.

    • Maybe he meant don't meet girls and expect to get a date/girlfriend. You could just try to make friends and see if anything develops from there.

  • I NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND AND I KEEP IT COOL. maybe that why... bye

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What Guys Said 11

  • There is some truth to it. If you are giving a girl too much attention they see you as desperate which is a turn off for them. Acting like you're not interested I think helps IF the woman is interested in you first. If not then it's not going to do anything.

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  • It's stupid to try to make every girl that walks in your girlfriend.

    I talk to 5-6 new girls a week and I don't expect them to become my girlfriend. A long time ago I got a number off Tinder and she stopped replying. A month later I randomly started trolling her (I was trying to sell her low flow toilets). She ended up becoming my first girlfriend.

    These things happen randomly really.

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  • Try his way for a little bit.

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  • The advice your friend gave you is legit. It's the only realistic solution.

    It doesn't make sense to you and that's ok. After all, if it made sense, then you would have gotten a girl already.

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  • Not true xD
    You'd have to at least try to get a girlfriend if you want one.
    I have not been trying to get one for last 2 or so years and look I don't have one xD

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  • Yes. Focus on your career, goals, God, and money.

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  • What he says works if your good looking. If not just be casual not so serious they aren't looking for marriage or a drill Sargeant on the first date

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  • No its not true I stopped trying years ago and I'm still single.
    Its all about looks not personality keep that in mind.

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  • Yeah that's true.

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  • How many times exactly?

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  • It is more or less true, yes. There are few things that are seemingly as attractive to women as when you do not really care if you get them or not.

    You turn the whole idea of them being little prized princesses upside down and it helps.

    Try to just have fun, do what you want and consciously decide NOT to get romantic with a girl. You can still flirt for fun and all but keep in mind, you're not trying to get with her.
    Aaand, that is really all it takes for her to go home dreaming about getting with you.

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