Girls, Why do girls want to change their boyfriend physically?

Girls will go buy their boyfriends new clothes that is out of their "style". Or they will tell them to get a specific haircut or do things a certain way as upkeep for themselves even if that means changing who the man is. I have had plenty of friends date girls and the guy who generally wears casual clothes, his girlfriend is buying him dressy clothes that he doesn't like. Or will buy him a cologne even if he doesn't like wearing it. I don't understand. Its not like cologne makes him a better man or some new slacks or whatever. If you love him for who he is, who are you to want him to stop being himself just because you think he should wear certain clothes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I do love my boyfriend for who he is, never tried to 'change' him any more than advising him on what pants/shirts I liked best on him when we went out shopping together.

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    • That's perfectly fine, I just mean when girlfriend will pressure them to conform to what they want

    • ah okay. That sounds like something girls who are still in high school or freshly graduated may do. Still in the mind-set that having a boyfriend is like having their own personal ken-doll? :P

What Girls Said 36

  • #generalisation551 but anyway, for those that do, it's not about changing him in all cases. sometimes we just find something that we know would be amazing on him, or better on him than something he owns. id make suggestions but id never force my man to physically change for me, that's messed up lol.

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  • Personally, I don't really want to change mine physically. I mean he usually just wears a plain t-shirt, joggers and a thin black jacket with muddy grey loathers but I don't care. I liked him like that before we were going out and still like him now. I don't think I care too much how he dresses (so long as he doesn't start wearing women's clothes) and I don't recall ever seriously requesting he dress in something he doesn't like.

    However, he did once request I wear a dress and "No boots with it please" (I have a pair of white combat boots). He later regretted putting it though and apologized and hasn't said anything like it since.

    When he did say it I do remember asking how he'd feel if I requested he wear a suit and on another occasion when he'd said something similar, I told him to spike up his hair and put on a denim or leather jacket. I wouldn't actually mind him doing that as I kind of have a thing for punks but I only actually said it so he would understand my point of view. I still love him dressed the way he is.

    With my ex boyfriend I might have told him to change a bit but it was only stuff like "Brush your teeth" and "You need to clean & cut your nails".

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  • I guess same reason a guy might like when their girlfriend puts more effort into their appearance and wears make up - that changes them physically, after all, no? Putting effort in and looking a little different can be a nice change.

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  • I like my bf's for who they are and don't try to changes them. Not all women are like this.

    If a girlfriend is doing this to you or a friend, then you need to get out or advise your friends to get out. It's not worth it to be with someone who is trying to change you. You are not some play thing that they get to dress up, you are a human who has your own unique interests, likes and dislikes.

    She should love you for who you are, and not what she thinks she can make you.

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  • I don't want to change my boyfriend's style but he want's me to look nice so why can't I want the same for him? If he's walking around in jeans with huge holes and shirts that are too small/short I'm going to do something about it. I bought him basically his entire wardrobe because I know his style and I like to spoil him. He had all the gift receipts so if he didn't like anything he could exchange it. I've bought him a few things he wouldn't have tried himself but ended up loving and he's done the same for me. He's bought me things I never would have thought to try on in the store but they turn out to actually suit me really well. It doesn't make me mad or think that he's trying to "change my style" it just means he saw something and thought of me and got me to try something new.

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  • That seems really stupid. Why be with a guy that your wanting to change everything about them? I would think that would ruin who the guy is and the one that you fell for.

    Only thing I ever tell my boyfriend that I love. Is when he cuts his hair shorter. I don't mind when it becomes longer. Since I love the loose curls and want to play with it constantly. For some reason I become more turned on when he cuts it short. Though he's also told me he would hate it if I cut my hair short. Which is fine my hair hates me when I try to cut it short. So I leave it long.

    Though if my boyfriend tried to change my clothes and a lot of other physical appearance about me. I honestly wouldn't mind at all. Since I know our tastes in that kind of thing are basically the same. So I wouldn't be worried and would find it to be fun. Just to see what he would pick out and have me do. Would be an interesting experience.

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  • I dunno what who does that but I would never do that and I don't. He wears what he wants does what he wants if I wanna buy him maybe a cologne I try it on him first if he doesn't like it I don't buy it I mean it's more opposite here I guess with me he always wants me to change my outfits my hair color my piercings but I don't wanna change him physically.

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  • The only thing that I have ever asked my boyfriend to change physically was to shave off the gnarly beard that he hated but kept to annoy me. I would physically recoil when he came anywhere near me with that monstrosity, so he relented. He has asked me to help him pick clothing and a haircut but I always tell him "It's your head!"

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  • I would never try to change my boyfriend's style or look. I do buy clothes for him and stuff sometimes but that's mostly because he hates shopping. When I do buy him stuff tho I only get things I know he would wear and whatever brands he likes. Even though i wouldn't wanna change him, I also know that even if I did want to he wouldn't change who he is just because I told him to.

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  • i've found the opposite to be true. guys LOVE it when girls take an interest in their clothing and like recommendations. just what i've experienced.

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  • Not sure I wouldn't really date someone if I wanted to pick them apart like that. I see a lot of other girls do it though. I think some of them just think they can make a man what they him to be.

    I think it's ok to an extent, if he has an awful haircut why can't you tell him or if you don't like his cologne why can't you buy him some.

    My boyfriend has told me "oh I love your hair this certain way or your make up this certain way, it looks better this way" a few times. It's not insulting, you're with them, you want them to be attracted to you.

    If you're doing all of those things though then that's just annoying.

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  • ... Guys do the same sort of stuff to girls.

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  • I hare people who want to change their S/O. You should love someone for who they are, not what you can make them. I don't understand why you would, it's hurtful and it can confuse you both.

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  • Almost all people want something to be different on or about their SO.

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  • I wouldn't do that !

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  • I hate the way my be does not put any outfits into his outfits. I don't necessarily change his clothes, but i advise him on what to wear. He is my man, I need to be attracted to him.

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  • Don't look at me. Usually a man's style is what attracts me to him in the first place so I wouldn't think about changing him.

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  • We just know that you'd look so much better in them. We see all that unused potential and it hurts

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  • You are absolutely right. But the main reason is that girls want their friends to think their guys are good looking and they want their guys to look nice from their perspective :)

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  • The only thing i could see "changing " about a guy I'm dating is maybe the cologne. If I really like the scent I might let him know I like it and do the *elbow elbow, wink wink* and hope he catches on.

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  • I've bought my boyfriend T-Shirts, but he wears T-Shirts all of the time. Have never bought him anything he wouldn't like. I like to make him happy. Maybe they haven't been with their boyfriend long enough?

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  • Women who do that just aren't physically attracted to you in my opinion. Those are the girls who like you for your personality. Well thats just what I've done to guys i wasn't really attracted to (not proud),

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  • Jesus, can we stop with the generalizations?

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  • Yeah, I used to do that with my bfs when I was much younger. Boy do I regret it. One should like their partner as they are. Its wrong trying to change someone. I wouldn't like it if a guy told me how to dress...*shudders*

    Best wishes

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  • Amen, buddy. Loving a person also means accepting them, without change.

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  • Women are always trying to 'improve' their men. It is an offshoot of hypergamy. If we cannot trade you we will upgrade you.

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  • I'm not changing him.

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  • Because for some ODD reason they don't love him for who he is anymore

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  • Most girls want to be able to have a win/win situation and have a boyfriend that is hot and smart and stuff so they will try to make the guy look more presentable when they are in public and have the person they actually are around the house.

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  • Some girls often go for guys that look like a good project bc they like to fix them up. Why? I don't know

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