Is this cheating? And if so is it unforgivable?

Me and my girlfriend of 5 months got into a big argument cause she sent a clip of one of our sex tapes to her friends boyfriend cause he asked. They're close friends but still seems weird and disrespectful, am I right? Is this cause for a breakup?

  • Cause for breakup
    79% (50)74% (42)77% (92)Vote
  • Can get past it
    21% (13)26% (15)23% (28)Vote
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Updates:
She has since apologized etc, and came clean to her best friend and told her everything , she says she did it to prove how bad she felt and that she was willing to lose her best friend for a second chance with me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It isn't cheating, but it is a betrayal of trust. Personally, i would break-up because It's evidence of where her loyalties and respect lies... not towards you. If she will part with something so private which is meant to be for your and her eyes ONLY , then that is an absolutely valid reason for a break-up.

    I am a very forgiving person , but i would NEVER forgive any kind of betrayal. I could never get past it unless i dissociated myself from the person who betrayed me

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What Girls Said 12

  • I'm not really sure whether I think it's cheating or not, I don't know what I think about that :P However, it is incredibly disrespectful to do something like that, especially if your partner isn't comfortable with it and doesn't give you permission to do it. If my boyfriend did that, I'd probably break up with him.

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    • I didn't know how to react about it in all honesty a breakup seemed right, I just flipped and called her a slut etc, she never even gave me an explanation as to why she sent it. She said it was just a bj video but still it's personal like do you need the attention that badly?

  • If I had a boyfriend and he made a sex tape, then sent it to one of his friends. I don't think that I could look him in the eye again. Trust is so important in a relationship. Sex is a private thing to be shared between two people who love each other. A tape is fine as long as it is only watched in private. She let another man watch her have sex, while in a relationship. In my book, that is just wrong!.

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  • It's not necessarily cheating but it IS grounds for a break up.

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  • not a big deal, you're fucking her, right? that's not cheating

    she should have asked if you were okay with that tho

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  • its not really cheating but id dump her. she should have consulted you before even thinking about allowing someone else to see the video.

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  • not cheating, but really fucku g weird... unless you're planning to have a threesome with him

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  • Its not cheating however it is sketchy. It could be grounds for a break up. It depends on how you really feel about it and her

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  • Why was it even acceptable for him to ask? Like why did he feel comfortable enough to do that? I'd break up.

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  • how dare she. was she trying to get him aroused. Who does that !!!

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  • She shouldve asked u first
    i think its a matter of just respect not cheating although those can go hand in hand
    id prob break up w her

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  • dump this bitch, she even don't ask you if you were ok with that. Maybe her best friends like her, so it's for that he ask her to her sextape

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  • I'd break up with her.

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What Guys Said 17

  • It's not cheating but it is a significant boundary violation. She is relying on the good intentions of her friend's boyfriend. That's a big, unnecessary risk. Suppose her friend & boyfriend have a bad breakup, suppose that as an act of petty revenge, he uploads this video clip to an amateur porn site on the internet. Once it's out there, it's beyond anyone's control.

    And for what? Why does this guy have any standing at all to get this video clip when YOU (the fellow in the video) lack the power to say no?

    For this to be salvageable, she has to do three things:
    1) She has to realize the gravity of her actions and appologize to you.
    2) She has to see to it that the copies of the video clip are destroyed.
    3) She has to pledge to never distribute videos without your consent from here on.

    Anything short of that list, and I'm afraid that breaking up is your best outcome.

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    • Did I overreact though by walking out? I don't think I did. Why would she send a video of us naked to another guy? What could her intentions possibly have been?

  • i don't think it's cheating but it's certainly a violation of your privacy and something that could cause a break-up

    it's up to you, to do what you feel suits you best. i can certainly see being extremely pissed off. it's private stuff, also now this guy has a video of your girlfriend naked so it seems sort of exhibitionist of your girlfriend. i'd feel like i don't trust my girlfriend adn that she seems to want attention from other guys

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    • Did I overreact by breaking up with her though? I feel like it's a major red flag personally, like if you're gonna do that to your best friend what would you do to me?

    • no i don't think you overreacted. i'd probably do the same... the issues as i see it...
      1. a violation of your privacy. the least she could do is ask
      2. sharing of intimate stuffs. you guys made the video for yourselves. if it was made for public domain that should be discussed.
      3. A HUGE RED FLAG is that she would send another guy a video of you and more importantly HER in an initmate moment. i don't want other guys checking out my wife/gf and i don't want her wanting guys to see her like that.

  • Yes, you're right it was very disrespectful and highly inappropriate of her to do that. No, that's not cheating but it indicates that she has no sense of privacy and no respect for you and the relationship.

    Logically speaking she is not the kind of woman you would want to be with, I would suggest consider breaking up with her.

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    • Yes what she did is totally unforgivable.

    • To make up for it she came clean about it all to her best friend, they've been friends for years and now that she knows they probably won't ever be friends again, I don't know if this really shows she's sorry or what, she said she sent it cause the guy is like addicted to porn and he asked but she regretted it.

  • I don't know if that is cheating but its definitley weird and messed up. Did she give you a reason for why she did it? I think that unless she comes up with a damn good explanation why you might want to break up with her. What the hell is up with the guy too? That is a messed up request, as messed up as her giving it to him without even consulting you. I would say give her a chance to explain but if its not a good explanation you might want to break up with her.

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    • She said she regretted it after she sent it, she's been friends with him for a while since her best friend started dating him and that he would ask for sex advice etc, he had asked for a video of her and her ex and they swapped so she thought it was acceptable but felt bad and said no more ever again and showed me that message. To prove how bad she felt she told her best friend everything and now they won't be friends anymore, I don't know if this makes anything better I mean it shows she's sorry but still it bothers me.

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    • The guy was her best friends boyfriend so her friend of years her best girlfriend will probably never talk to her again

    • Well that is messed up. I really have no idea what was going through your girlfriends head. But it seems genuine so I would say give her a chance and see where it goes.

  • I believe in second Chances. I also believe that people will make the most regrettable mistakes in there lives that if they could, they' wouldn't do it. Maybe im to religious but I do know that if you truly do love your wife or husband then you are, under oat and the vows you've made before that you are declaring your faith and love to your partner and that you will work through the hardships in your relationship to fix it.

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  • Not cheating but a foul thing to do... I would consider breaking up over that action.

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  • What is forgivable is a function of your compassion, not our advice. Forgiveness is... it's one of the most important things in the world. It's more important than money or feelings.

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  • Dude, even if you don't break up with her for the act. Consider breaking up with her over her immaturity. If my girlfriend sends a video of herself giving a BJ, I'm definitely breaking up.

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  • It's not really cheating, it's wrong, but it's not unforgivable, and I always give someone at least a second chance no matter what

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  • Not cheating but I think it's enough to make me breakup if that happened to me... It's disrespectful

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  • I guess it depends on the person
    If i knew about it i would t be mad if she did itt behind my back i wouldn't break up with them tho

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  • To err is human, to forgive devine.

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  • Your reaction and her intent are extremely important.

    I would've just laughed.

    Do you want to break up?

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  • If someone cares about you and loves they will always be faithful.

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  • Weird. But harmless. Just don't make more of these tapes.

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  • Flush that turd. Show a woman no mercy when it comes to unfaithfulness.

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  • Flush that turd

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