Why do things get awkward when two friends are into each other?


Most Helpful Guy

  • because romantic love is not sexual attraction + caring about each other.
    This matters. Love for a friend and love for a romantic partner, though the same emotion (love), are felt in entirely different contexts. Sexual desires are not part of how you are supposed to feel for a person who is just a friend.

    When you feel sexual desire for a friend, and especially if you know they feel it back for you, you now have a decision to make:
    Do we stay as friends and ignore the sexual desire? Do we give into the sexual desire, but try to remain just friends? Do we try to change how we feel about each other, and be more than just friends?

    Awkwardness comes from a few factors
    1) if you choose to ignore the sexual desire, that doesn't mean it goes away, which means sexual tension can create awkward moments
    2) there is a fear that if you try to act on it but just stay friends, things will change anyways, and that change might not be welcome
    3) there is a fear that if you try to make it a romance, and it fails, that your friendship will not be recoverable
    4) there is a chance that whichever way you think is best to handle the situation is NOT the way the other person thinks you should, or wants to, handle it. If you want to ignore the tension, and he wanted to try for romance, for example, you now have competing, and opposite, intentions, that add stress.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because you have a relationship that's centered around your feelings of friendship. When one person starts to change those parameters it feels unnatural since it's not the normal dynamic of your relationship


What Guys Said 1

  • Because one isn't? This happened to me and we just ended up banging, dating and living together.

    • Assume they're both interested but haven't crossed that line yet, why is the question

    • Maybe they don't want to jeopardize the friendship or aren't 100% sure how the other one feels/don't want to make it awkward.

What Girls Said 2

  • Things don't always get strange/awkward when two friends are into each other.
    I've been with my boyfriend for 2+ years, and we were previously friends from high school.

  • They shouldn't.