Would you believe a guy who cancelled a dinner date on the morning of the date, saying he had a work event that evening?

So, I was supposed to go to dinner today with a guy I am seeing at the moment (second date). Everything was set for this evening, and this morning, just after I made the extra effort to dress up, I get a text from him saying that he would have to cancel, since a senior person from his head office Had flown in for the week, and so he has a work thing this evening...

I don't know if I should believe him, since work things, especially if someone is flying in, is usually planned weeks in advance. So I am a bit annoyed.

What do you think?

Updates:
OK, a lot of you are saying, wait to see if he sets up another date, and then you would know. The problem is he set up our third date (visit to a museum exhibit coming Sunday), before our second date. But then he proposed a second date before that, cos he didn't want to wait until Sunday to see me. So I can't really test his interest you see...

Also he used to message me every day, and call every now and then. However since he cancelled that date on Monday, I haven't heard from him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is usually pland weeks in advance your right but what you assume is that he is high enough in his company to be informed weeks in advance which often more than not dosent happen. Even then bosses like to make randome visits sometimes to see random productivity and at times! es to just shake up the pot a bit. Give him this one and except it as truth because unless you actually have a legitimate reason not to believe him then you should let it go and just except it. Now if you do have a legit reason then I must ask what is it? Because so far all I know is that he had enough curtisy to tell you early on in the day so you would know the situation an so you could make other plans if you wanted, that he has a job he works hard at, and that the dress you picked can wait a bit to be worn another day.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys are better with direct messages. Tell him how you feel! That you were excited for your date, disappointed something came up even though you understand it was out of his hands. See how he responds to honesty. That will be the quickest way to get all the confusion out of the air and move on. I say give him one last chance to make up for it. Obviously it wasn't his fault, and you don't know him very well so give him the benefit of the doubt. See if he takes you on a really special date and pay attention to how/if he apologizes. And of course trust your gut.

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What Guys Said 14

  • If it is a work event, it is possible that it was planned weeks in advance but he was only today invited to participate in some after work hours function.

    If he is being dishonest with you, it will soon be obvious. If he is being honest with you, you lose by jumping to conclusions. See what happens with your next date, be on guard for the possibility that he is a liar/cheater, but don't make a final judgment yet.

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  • At this point, try to stay positive. People always turn negative in situations like this. Give him the benefit of the doubt for now. If this happened 2 or 3 times in a row, then you have reason to be pissed!

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    • Thanks. That is good advice. I usually follow that philosophy, but I guess it was the way this guy cancelled. Didn't really apologise, just said, "hey I am going to have to be a pain, and cancel!"

    • I agree, he could have sounded more sorry about it. As a test, what you do is text him and tell him to let you know when would be a good time. This puts the ball in his court! If he genuinely wants to be with you he will take the time and effort to re plan! Good luck!

    • I actually replied saying, "Alright. Thanks for letting me know!" I'm gonna leave it to him to schedule another date if he wants to. If he doesn't, I wouldn't really be bothered anyway.

  • Stay positive, give him the benefit of the doubt.

    Did he attempt to reschedule the date? If not then maybe he has lost some interest.

    You shouldn't contact him about another date. Let him ask you out on the next date.

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  • Things come up sometimes, just wait to see if he bothers to set up another date. I think you'll know by this if the guy is serious or not.

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  • Work things are usually planned weeks in advance but not everyone gets notice weeks in advance. The presence of one special person can lead to getting hushed up to attend the event without much advance warning: "Oh, X comes and brings Z, we *need* you to be there because Z will want to speak with you. Scramble!"

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  • Depends on the person. If it's someone I haven't been on a date with before, or just 1-2 dates, I wouldn't believe her. I gave the benefit of the doubt to one girl once and she never got back at me.

    But if it's someone I talk with regularly, I've been on several dates with them, then I would believe them, though I would have my doubts.
    Just wait to see if he decides to text/call again, if he does, then you know he was being honest.

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  • The event could've been planned weeks in advance, but is he a big deal in the company? If not, he could've just been informed. He has nothing to gain by skipping out on dinner.

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  • You have the right to be annoyed and you can choose to forget about it... You should however expect and accept no less then what you provide, if you are honest, considerate, thoughtful, caring and so on, do not accept anything less...

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  • Well, look what will happen in the near future. If he invites you on another date another day, then probably yes, believe him. If he doesn't, then absolutely not.

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  • why would he lie

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    • Alternative plans?

    • Show All
    • Not really. Actually I am most annoyed about being told so last minute... in all probability it is true, but he forgot to tell me. I am just a Super Organised person when it comes to appointments, and my diary is booked weeks in advance, sometimes months... So I don't like it when people disrupt that. Ha ha!

    • ahh yeah I feel you lol

  • Depends on the business he works in. In my office, stuff can happen or change at a moment's notice. Be annoyed, but give him the benefit of the doubt!

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  • Well I can probably see if this person has a job where they can just call you in, like a retail job. It doesn't sound like that. sorry you we're disappointed, maybe its legit.

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    • Yeah it might be... Guess I didn't like being told so last minute. I don't like flakes as a rule, friends or dates, clients or consultants...

    • I understand that, people don't take in consideration of other people's time.

  • Seems more legit than fake to me.

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  • Yes I would.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Lets just say i would be pissed! lol

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  • Work is a bitch for those important to the boss
    SO I believe him 100%, as well as knowing his boss is a jerk.
    If you can live with more boss jerk events like this, you'll be with a very successful guy, one that will eventually find a better boss less interfering with his obvious desire to be with you more often than boss allows

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  • If he promises to set another date then I would definitely believe him but if it happens to be otherwise, something isn't right. Sorry :/

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    • @update: Since Monday? Wow that's kind of strange to me. Sounds fishy. This is why I always believe in first impression. To me it sounds like he isn't sure about taking you out. Give him a week if still nothing, forget about him.

  • He cancelled the date on Monday? Did he send the text before or after actually arriving at the office?

    Well, although I would have preferred a phone call, at least he warned you in advance and not after lunch or last minute.
    Hmm, I would give him until Thursday for confirmation of interest and the date on Sunday.

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  • Sounds fickle. I dated a professional guy who did similar to me. See if he contacts you about your next date, if he is anything less that 'yes I'll meet you' then just forget about him, you deserve better.

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