Girlfriend of 5 months is still friends with ex, talks about him, he's part of hometown friend group?

We've been dating 5 months. The second month she left my appt for the first extended period of time and went to her hometown, where her highschool ex (one year ago) and first love is still a major part of her friend group. They ended up kissing, and she told me everything and took the blame right away, so i let it go (without being a pushover or a dick) but it implanted this distrust, that when she's away from me I don't know whatll happen and if she goes to her hometown, she WILL see her ex cuz he's in her friendgroup. Well now he deals coke.

She talks about him more than any of her other friends, and even once mentioned how tall/tan he is. Tells me my dicks perfect for her, but once said her ex is just a fraction bigger. She got home after being home almost a week and we sat down to smoke with my roomates, fairly quickly she went into a long tangent about her ex, and his job.

She also hung out with him a bit, she was supposed to study but said she did coke every day (hes a coke dealer now) and she was bumping for free (maybe not always) she also partied n went to a bonfire with him the nihgt before coming back. This morning, 5am, after being home for 5 hours, she gotta text from him. She mentioned it and put it down, and then responded a bit later

I kinda have this worry that her love for me is partly some kinda redirection of her love for her ex... her chest was red when she got home too and that got me paranoid, on top of that she didn't wanna fool around until after we talked about her being worried about me embarassing her in front of her friends, we cleared it up tho. I don't know should i be worried? i can't ask her to not chill with her ex - he's part of her friendgroup what can i do?


What Girls Said 1

  • Wow what a bitch. I think she is being too detail about her past. Telling you her ex is just a fraction bigger? Kiss Shit. What kind of girlfriend is this?

    Sounds like she still has feeling for him. I think you need a serious confrontation with her.

    • well i mean we base ourselfes on honesty and growth so i want her to be honest, but i dont believe this fraction of an inch shit. i assume there's more of a difference n she just doesn't want me to feel bad, but i feel so much worse feeling like im being lied to but i can't call her a liar

    • Show All
    • Yes she doesn't want to make it sounds like he is indeed bigger than you. I can see why you get offended. So you want her to be super honest by telling you that he is really bigger? Or you aren't ready to hear that?

    • Im ready to hear it.

      If my dick isn't perfect - dont say it! tell me what you DO like about my dick for real!

      Plus if she was honest - I could actually work against whatever and try to compensate

      She still claims that he has a very similar dick to mine, except mine is prettier (something I can believe) and says she would consider us both "slim" (not skinny - but not thick)

      She actually just found out he got sent to rehab for H and messages me being really sad

      I could only really say "sorry bae ;("

      She still loves him... "as a friend," but differently than how she loves her actual friends

      She kissed him to show herself she had power not to fuck him, but this gave him a sense of power - and apparently he touches her in a flirty way.

      she's agreed to not be around him without people who knows she wants to stay with me and will help support her when I can't be there for a few weeks

      And to not get fucked up and put in situations. (i wdnt ask w/out othr reson)

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, you can ask her to stop seeing him! It is one thing to be unjustly paranoid about an ex, but she crossed the line and actually kissed him! She has already proved she cannot be trusted and she cannot maintain a mature and responsible, friend-only relationship with him. Personally, she sounds like she is still stuck on him. He sounds like a "bad boy" and we all know what most girls think about bad boys. This is trouble brewing. You need to put your foot down now or you'll just end up being the sucker! If she refused, then kick her to the curb so she can ruin her own life by getting knocked up by her pimping drug dealing ex!

    • i do drugs and this kids no badass, he's more of a pretty boy from the suburbs (kinda like me) who failed out of hs and not at college who is falling back on coke

      i delt a bit of lsd/caps in my day

  • Tell her it makes you uncomfortable
    It sounds sketchy to me but im paranoid a f
    Also sorry to have to say this but he is prob noticably bigger than you or she wouldn't have mentioned it

    • yeah i figure that but I don't know. actually asked a question once to gils about it n they pretty much told me i had no right to worry but they all said "you prob are her perfect size" but either way a fraction of an inch more is even more perfect... i just wanna honest opinion from a girl... she said they broke up mutually and hapilly cuz he was a lazy selfish kid but itd be cool to know the truth considering i base relationships, and this one, on honesty, and if she's hiding it it either means she thinks i can't take it or she still likes him (or another i haven't fully realized)