Kind people I need your precious advice. how should I avoid having premarital sex without losing him?

I am thinking I shoulf tell him I agree and then get cold to him. So he will notice that the idea of premarital sex makes me be uncomfortable and cold towards him. And he will wait for marriage.

Please don't tell him I should go for it. i am totally against it. LIKE TOTALLY AGAINST:)

  • I should act colder (like I described above)
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  • I should threaten him I will leave him if he contiues to ask me for sex
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  • I should simply tell him primarital sex will ruin our relationships
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  • your variant
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Most Helpful Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him the truth: you don't want to have sex before marriage and no amount of prodding is going to make you change your mind. He has to accept it or leave.

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    • I told him but he said he should know how I am in bed before he marries me.

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    • @jacquesvol lol nuns don't get married. I want to get married lol

    • Well then tell him you'll cross that bridge when the prospect of marriage is on the table.

What Guys Said 14

  • You have to be honest with him and let him decide if that is the kind of relationship that he wants to be in. There are a lot of guys and girls that don't want to wait until marriage and their concerns are valid. You don't want to marry someone that you aren't sexually compatible with.

    I am not telling you to go for it, but it isn't unreasonable for him to disagree with you on this subject. Now is the time for honest communication, and for the two of you to decide if this compatibility is a deal breaker for either of you or not. You might lose him. That doesn't make him a bad boyfriend that doesn't care about you, but it could mean that you just weren't compatible.

    Anyway it sounds more like he is really just a player, that is just looking for the thrill of sleeping with someone that is hard to get. He does after all have a history of just sleeping around and not caring about the girls at all. If you ignore his past and get hurt, then you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.

    I doubt you will listen, but more than likely you aren't the reason he changed his mind. You are more likely just a fun challenge. It sounds like you are letting a known player, play you. We are taught not to look at peoples past, and that is generally done by people, with bad pasts. Us ignoring their past makes it easier on them to use us just like they used everyone that came before us.

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    • We can get married and then get divorced if we are that incompatible. I dont understands what the problem is

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    • @Protagoras he doesn't love me enough then

    • That isn't what it means, and it is unfair for you to suggest he doesn't love you, just because you don't get to control his beliefs. Just because a guy or girl doesn't believe in waiting for marriage doesn't mean they don't love the other person. That is merely a compatibility issue.

      If he believes marriage should be forever and doesn't want to get divorced then logically it would only make sense he would be more careful about searching for compatibility issues, including sexual compatibility. You may not be right for each other, and I still suspect his is a player based on his past, but him not wanting to wait is completely reasonable, just like your wanting to wait is completely reasonable.

  • Use words instead of playing games and sending signals.
    Simple words which cannot be misunderstood:
    "If you want to know what your future sex life will be, marry me first or buy tarot cards and learn to read them."

    He'll understand what your intention is.

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    • he says he doesn't want to buy a car without test drive.

    • Tell him this isn't an option with you.

  • If he doesn't subscribe to the no sex before marriage thing and you do: I predict you won't be having any sex, or getting married, he'll find a girl who'll put out without having to get married.

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    • he won't want another girl because he has never fallen in love with anyone nor any girl meant smth for him. He only slept with them.

    • He never wanted to date any girl. I am the reason why he changed his mind.

  • You just need to tell him that you don't want to have sex before marriage and that you want him to take no for an answer. Tell him if it bothers him he should leave. You don't need to be manipulative playing games and you don't need to be hostile, just firm.

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  • If you believe "premarital sex will ruin our relationship", then tell him that, have a candid conversation with him and deal with the consequences.

    I personally wouldn't go for a relationship like that, but the guy who's right FOR YOU will understand it and maybe even share that same thinking.

    Good luck! ;)

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    • if he didn't lust and love me this much he would dump me lol

  • No sane guy wants to wait until they've signed a legally binding contract before getting laid, that's just mad.

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    • if all they want is sex then you are right

    • If you think its as black and white as that then you're naive and self-righteous. Assuming all he's after is sex if he doesn't want to get fucking married, married, think about that, all the shit that comes with it, all the money, the legal compromise... yeah, if he doesn't wanna go through all that for a little sex then, yeah, that's definitely all he's after. Dumb.

    • he is very rich. Don't worry lol

  • Playing games, like going cold because he mentioned sex to get your point across, is a great way to ensure that next week he's out on a date with some girl that is not you.

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    • he won't because he has never fallen in love with anyone nor any girl meant smth for him. He only slept with them

    • Try something crazy... be straight up with him and let the chips fall where they may.

    • I am crazy over him but I know premarital sex will leave us nowhere.

  • Have other kinds of sex with him. If intercourse is against your religion give him blow jobs or hand jobs and let him rub you off. Then after your married have regular sex...

    Relax!!! God knows your very devout and committed to your beliefs. It will be okay. Sometimes you have to have some middle ground to work with.

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    • lol no bj and hj are sexual acts

  • The communication beetween you 2 really needs a boost.
    Just tell him "dude, i'm into sex after marriage" ...

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  • Just tell him, wtf?

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    • I told him but he tells me he should know if we are compatiable before he marries me.

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    • Yes, compare your morals to snack food, 'cause they're the same, smdh...

    • i was comparing my desire for sex with his

  • Don't play games, just tell him flat out how you feel.

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  • Just agree to disagree and break up.

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    • and stay a virgin forever lol

  • Be upfront.
    Don't tease.
    Don't sleep together.

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  • I don't believe you are compatible with one another.

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What Girls Said 1

  • What is the Prematiral sex? i am think you should say everything clearly. if you can't say something to him. this is not good for you

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