Why do I only get to one date?

Being honest here, I'm actually quite attractive. I'm 18, tall, good figure, long hair... Whenever I go on dates I might do a couple but then that's it.
I have to point out I am VERY shy, so my full personality isn't on point when on these dates. It's more of me trying not to be nervous but it doesn't usually work. It this really that big of a deal? I know it sets me back but how much?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Apparently it is that big a deal.

    They're asking you out, then giving up.

    Honestly, i doubt your personality is so bad they can't stand you, because guys will stick around with a girl who is pleasant hot and might have sex. So i suspect you're actually giving the impression you're bored and they have no chance.

    Best suggestion? If you are liking the guy and want to go out again, you need to blurt this out:

    "i'm having a good time, I'm sorry I get so shy around guys like you. I hope you'll want to see me again"

    I realize as a shy person that's scary as shit to say, but on the up side, you only have to be brave for one moment, rather then being not shy for hours :p

    Since you could waste the entire date trying to say it, you will say it when the cheque arrives , before its paid. That's the rule. You have to say it right then.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Guys take your shyness, as lack of interest (especially if he considers you above-average-looking).

    Good looking girls are NEVER been given the benefit of a doubt of being shy by men.

    We always assume you aren't interested in us anymore, and that you're already have a guy set up to replace us.

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    • I'm going through this right now with a girl I met. Very attractive (to me), got her number. Only texts back when I text her.

      Sent her a text saying "I don't know what your issue is or what you're afraid of, but I'm not initiating communication anymore." THEN she started responding more promptly.

      We shall see what happens.

    • I'm really glad I read this. It's wrong to assume this because I get so nervous when I have to meet someone that it really is not fun. I have this constant thought that "what if he doesn't like me? What if I don't know what to say?" Even if I know I'm more or equally good looking, it's always on the back of my mind, which is very scary. Therefore, I'm shy, and I don't know how to get over it. And I usually never text because I don't want to seem annoying, although If I really like the guy I will do it (i'm totally relaxed when texting, which makes it even more annoying) because the real me doesn't add up to the "texting" me.

  • in your age group its harder because of your shyness. a lot of guys are not will in to put in the effort to get to know you. most are looking for the quick trip to the bedroom and with you being so shy they know that will not happen any time soon so they dont try. there are a few that look at thing differently but they are in the same boat as you, being shy and reserved to they dont approach like the guys you have been going out with

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  • Society has taught us as guys that girls that are better looking are out of our league. As if attraction had such barriers. Yes people tend to look for people like themselves, but there is no league. Just like when us guys "rate" girls it doesn't really mean anything. It's an arbitrary number we assign based on our own preferences.

    If a girl is shy, I will probably internalize it and blame it on me being boring. Or her being uninterested. If you go on a date with a guy and your shy that's perfectly fine. I'm dense as fuck as far as signals go. Sometimes guys need a clear message that your interested.

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    • I usually try to let slip that I'm shy, does that help?

    • Probably not. However inside your own head you are on the date, he probably is too. If he feels like your "out of his league" probably even more so then you.

      I would say at the end tell him you really enjoyed the date and touch his arm. Body language is important.

      Or if you feel so inclined ask for a kiss.

    • It may startle him at first so don't take his immediate reaction as how he feels. Let him have second. My first girlfriend the first time she tried to initiate a kiss I jumped back cause I was startled. She got all red and started walking away, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back into me and kissed her. Most romantic things I've ever experienced :-)

  • Sounds to me like you already know the problem. Maybe you can pretend your on a date with your girl friend and not a cute boy... If all else fails, just nod and smile at all times. Lastly if the date stalls out ask your date if he'd be interested in pizza and a fuck. When his jaw drops in shock say, "What? Everyone loves pizza!!!"

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  • They maybe think you aren't interested in them...

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  • i want a girl like you, :))

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    • weell thaaankss for that one :)) is it because of the shy part? I hate it!!

    • you are very welcome, i like shy girls :) it means for me that you are decent, pure one.
      i very like it. I would try to make you the happiest girl ever in the world only if i was your boyfriend :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe your personality just sucks...
    Hard to tell having never met you.

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    • No it doesn't, very honestly, but being shy maybe makes it look that way. I don't know what my problem is or how to let go and just be myself.

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