I've been hooking up with this guy for about 5 months now. The whole thing is complicated (it's off limits at work, its socially wrong, and other things) but we have an understanding about our arrangement and what we are for each other and I'm fine with it and frankly I don't want anything else at this point. We were talking the other day (throwing the "what if's" out) and he said something that rubbed me the wrong way. He said "To be honest you're too young for me." I mean it's true (I'm 21 and he's 34) we just hadn't said it but after I left I thought "well I'm old enough to sleep with but too young too date." Don't really know what to think about it. I just don't get it.
Most Helpful Guy
Yeah, I wouldn't take it personally. You're just in different life phases. Hooking up is what it is, relationships are serious business that require you to be on the same page. I'm not saying that no 34/21 pairing in the world could ever work, but the odds are that either now, or sooner rather than later, he might want something different than you do at your age. Like maybe in two years he wants to be thinking about marriage and kids, and you're still 23 and not looking for that yet, that's not going to work. Just enjoy it for what it is, and protect your own feelings, don't invest your emotions in him, because he probably won't change his mind. If you start catching feelings, it's time to pull away.0
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly wouldn't read too much into it, as it sounds to me like an excuse to avoid any relationship talk. Plainly, he's not interested in a relationship, *with you*.
But to answer your question, (and first let me apologize in advance, because I'm sure you're sick of hearing what I am about to say) if you're like MOST people your age, you're too young to really know what you want from life, how you're going to get there, and how you will fit into your position in life once you find it. All that added together equals, you don't really know who you are yet. You will change at least in smalls way on this journey known as Life, and he probably doesn't want to deal with that.0