Is it shallow of me to not want to be with this guy because I'm not physically attracted to him as much?

We are 21. We've only known each other for 1 1/2 weeks, but we have seen each other every single day and spent hours and hours together. We get along really well and we have many of the same interests. He is attracted to me 100%. He keeps telling me how gorgeous I am, how much he likes me, how he can't picture not having met me. He really jumped in with both feet; he adores me. He said he doesn't know what he'd do if we stopped talking.

however, I do really like being around him buuuut I just can't stare at him in the same adoring way. I don't really like his features, except his eye color. I mean, I'm not saying he's ugly by any means, I just myself do not think I feel physically attracted or compatible with him. When we were making out, he whispered that he wished I wanted him as badly as he wants me, and that made me sad because it's the truth.

Am i shallow? I feel terrible that this is the reason I want to cut things off.


1|0
5|10

Most Helpful Guy

  • Consider choosing a mate as if its the only one stranded on a desert island forever and you have your answer. Time to be shallow!

    That said, an interesting experiment would be to see how he will look in years to come. There must be software out there that would take his present image and morph it as if years were passing. Why? So many friends say they love their SO today but rejected him in school due to appearances.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not shallow. How could you have a sexual relationship with someone you're not a least a little attracted to? You can't. And I wouldn't date someone I don't feel a sexual pull towards either. Sometimes guys that are not even my type attract me so it has nothing to do with beauty..

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 9

  • I think it's because he's putting it all out there, way too soon.. A week and a half? Yeah, I would say cut things short now

    2|0
    0|0
  • Women have a right to be shallow too you know. Don't lead him on if you're not that physically attracted to him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • it's him, not you lol.

    why is he fucking himself over like this?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Out of curiosity, how did you even flirt and initiate a relationship with him if you don't find him attractive?

    1|0
    0|0
    • I find him semi attractive, but I just think there's someone else out there I'd be more attracted to? I guess? I don't know. I want to like him like he likes me but I just don't feel it

    • Thst's fair enough, I wouldn't call you shallow, it is what it is.

  • You have to cut things off... Otherwise in the end you are only gonna hurt him..

    I don't know if you are shallow or not..

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, find someone who you find attractive and get along well with.

    Might take longer if it happens at all though

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's shallow to only care about appearance.

    Caring about appearance as well as other things doesn't make you shallow.

    While he's moving fast, that's really not the issue. You just aren't as in to him.

    Cut it off.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So you are fucking him but you are not sexually attracted to him? ... boy you sure know how to string us guys along

    0|0
    0|0
    • We only have made out. I guess I am somewhat but not like a full turn on "Ohmygod he's so desirable" I guess

  • You sound a little shallow (I wasn't going to say so, but geez complaining his eyes aren't the right color?) but you can't force yourself to like someone - in the end it doesn't matter why you aren't feeling it just that you aren't and that kinda means you should cut things off so as to not lead him on.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You read it wrong-- I said I liked his eye color and that was about it

What Girls Said 4

  • Your not shallow. You don't even sound shallow. If anything you should be proud, your being honest with yourself your not attracted to this guy emotionally, which is okay. You can't just force yourself to like someones appearance and plus there are too many guys in this world to be stuck with just one you aren't even physically attracted to. He'll find a nice girl

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's not shallow at all. I wouldn't date a guy who I wasn't attracted to phyiscially. I can't imagine any man or woman dating someone they didn't feel attracted too.

    It would be cruel to string him along though. He doesn't deserve that. You know how he feels about you so it would be best to be honest with him , in a tactful way , and end it. It's unfair to the both of you if you don't.

    You have the right to be with a guy you want to be with , and he should be told the truth so he can move on and have the opportunity to find a girl who genuinely wants to be with him

    The truth may hurt him, but he'll move on from the hurt, but lying to him with destroy his trust. That will be so much painful and harder to get over.

    Everyone has preference so that doesn't make you shallow.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think its shallow. It sounds like a legitimate concern. I will say that I would take a semi attractive guy who treats me like a queen rather than an attractive guy that treats me like shit any day. Maybe ask him to slow down? I know whenever a guy is clingy they instantly become unattractive to me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No you're not shallow and he sounds massively clingy

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...