Weve been dating for 7 months, and finally agree to visit him and discover he's seriously loaded, lives in a huge mansion, his family is overloaded too and I feel so unworthy and small in comparison. What should I do? Im just a self employed artist with a very poor family. I grew up extremely poor, and I don't know, it's just very intimidating, how can I go about it? I'm just worried for some reason. I just wish he was an average wage worker like me. I was a top school student though, his grades tbh, are definitely not intimidating, but i just suddenly feel like we are worlds apatt, Gagers, any advice?
I just feel like people will discriminate against me, against us, just like in the Hollywood movies, it's silly I know
It doesn't change our relationship at all, but I'm still anxious, I think about what the public will think, his parents HATE me, because I'm a realism artist/painter, but I think he'll have a really promising future, I feel now like people will me a gold digger, etc. I'm scared his family will look down on my family, his family are not just rich, they're very judgmental. I know he doesn't look down on me :) but I think everyone WILL
He chose to be with you didn't he? You didn't know he was rich, but he knew. I'm sure he knew you weren't rich also. He still CHOSE to be with you. Don't forget that.
Is it really the money you are concerned about? Or is it about different social standing and feeling you don't know how to act in a different social strata? Are you afraid of a faux pas? Are you afraid that you might do something "lower class" and embarrass yourself?
Just be yourself. Remember that you were with him for seven months and you didn't know he was rich. Doesn't that mean he didn't fit some stereotype that you had about rich people? Obviously he's not like the stereotype you imagined. Not all rich people are snobby elites who look down their noses on anyone who is not rich.
He CHOSE you and wants to be with you. He might have intentionally hid his wealth to find out if you were after him or his money. If he did that, it seems you passed the test. He wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be with him, not his money. Isn't that enough?
Are you kidding? I would be jumping up and down in my boots. I grew up poor too. That just means I would be that much more excited if a girl I was dated was loaded.
Fuck what people think. You get the easy life and all it's going to cost you is some ignorant fucks talking shit? Are you kidding me? Someone who grew up poor would jump on that chance. It's not like you're going to be asking for diamond tampons. But that's a solid foundation. You really wanna go out and jump in the ocean again?
Why do you care so much what other people are going to think? Everyone hates their in-laws. That's just natural.
I grew up relatively poor and am now rich. I have to walk between two worlds. My Jaguar never goes to my family's farm, where the people who live around there don't make that much money in two years. I have danced in the same room as the President and First Lady and shared rice in a bowl in a family's shack of scrap wood in a developing country.
You should be yourself. Sweetness and kindness go a long way. Don't look down on their money. Someone had to earn it at some point. Come across as someone who respects it, because it means freedom to be able to do what most people can only dream of.
When you go to a restaurant together, never order the most expensive or the cheapest on the menu. Whenever I take a new girl on a date, I see what she orders. If it is lobster & steak, she is out. (I am happy to fly us to Maine for the weekend for lobster, but this is a character test).
If you get serious and start talking about marriage, then insist on a prenup and get a lawyer to help you with it. This will put away any concerns his family has about money. Their concerns are legitimate, but you can satisfy them.
You overcome economic class distinction through kindness, politeness, grace, and intelligence.
i think thats one reason he fell for you you loved him before you knew he had money. the money doesn't change the person he is and how he feels about you. i bet if he flashed his money around he could get just about anyone he wanted but he didn't do it that way because he wanted someone who wanted him not the money. if you want to change how the parents look at you and not as a gold digger when you are alone ask one of them about a prenuptial agreement and how do the work. if the ask why tell them that you feel that if it ever get to that point with there son to have one to show its him you want and thats it.
How do you know he is "super-rich" my moms family "looked" super-rich but she was, in reality so poor that they couldn't even afford to pay the heating bill on their house. I come from a "rich noble heritage" of a bunch of degenerates who drank away millions.
There are a lot of people that LOOK super-rich but in reality they are plunging so deep into the hole that if you could only see their finances you would wonder how they are not dragged out and executed by the mob.
Don't worry about it, Rich or 'well off' Men usually go looking for women who aren't totally loaded. Not because of some self righteous attitude but because they want someone who'll love them for them. I know a few colleges who've 'pretended' or never told their SO they're rich (Tried this too) until the right time to make sure that the person their with loves them for them and not for their wealth. So don't worry about it. If you got this far it means he's willing to let you know everything. ;) And nope, your an artist I think they'll like you for sure lol.
Wealth is only off putting if you let it be. Remember that he knew your social situation before you knew his. Many rich people do not let others know that they are for the very reasons you just mentioned, as well as to avoid gold diggers. If he likes you, then that should be enough. How was his family towards you, where they nice? Did they seem excepting of you? If so, then that's enough.
You should be happy about it. In financial terms it's like winning the lottery. If he's with you, if he loves you, screw what people will think or say, just enjoy him (and the money he may give you xD).
The fact that he is dating you should tell you that he likes you that much. Let me ask you this - is it he that is actually loaded or is it his parents? You said his family is overloaded, so I'm assuming he's just a heir to his ancestor's fortunes.
I think it's a pretty good sign of his character that it took you 7 months to learn if his wealth. I would continue to think about the guy you met and fell for and not letvyourself be blinded/affected by this new knowledge. But what do you mean "finally agreed to visit him"?
Fuck everyone else. No matter what you do nothing can please them. So even if you worked yourself to death it wouldn't be good enough to them. So best thing is to not stress about them at all. Other wise your going to drive yourself crazy.
All that matters is that you know the truth and how you feel about him. That's all that matters. You know your not a gold digger so that's all you need to know.
IN reality he has no control over his familys income and nor do you, you both are together because you care about each other not because of money. Just know that he's not with you because he feels sorry for you
So conscious... Money doesn't define one's identity
I'm wealthy and grew up with very wealthy families. Nobody will judge you unless they are a total asshole and then that has nothing to do with their money. Some people are just jerks. But most people that I know who are super wealthy are very down to earth and we just like honest, smart, kind, fun people. Don't let anyone make you feel small. I'm sure you're a better person than many people with money. Money doesn't determine whether you're a good person or not. If you're awesome you're awesome, it's as simple as that. Believe in yourself a little more! Your boyfriend loves you for who you are. Tell the rest to accept you or fuck off.
I personally wouldn't feel any shame at all. You actually work hard for what you have, you know the true value of a dollar. You do what you love for a living, regardless of the price. I think those are great qualities in a person.
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