My friend thinks that my boyfriend abuses me but he does not hit me or touch me when I don't want him to, all he does is ask for my passwords and checks my phone all the time.. The only reason he does this is because I flirted with another guy once when we were going through a tough time in our relationship... I don't think it's abuse and I kind of like that he can always look at my stuff to prove that I am not cheating on him, it creates more trust in our relationship... But he doesn't let me see his convos which kind of sucks. Is this abuse or is my friend crazy?
- Friend is crazy, boyfriend not abusing50%(11)60%(25)Vote70%(14)
- you're being abused she is right50%(11)40%(17)Vote30%(6)
Most Helpful Guy
From somebody who worked in law enforcement for years, this sounds like the first stages of an abusive relationship. The big indicators I see is he's limited what access you have to other people without any reciprocity. He's putting limits on what you can do and who you can see. Frequently the next step would be limiting people who you can see (you can't spend any time with males, only girls I know, etc) and will lead to control over you.
I'm not saying this is guaranteed to happen, but it's something I've been trained to watch out for. And if he's 21 and been cheated on 16 times, he's either lying or there's something really worrisome about his relationships.0
Most Helpful Girl
Damn been cheated on over 16 times? If that's true then poor guy! No wonder he is paranoid. I don't think he is abusing you, probably just worried, I was cheated on once before and even though I wasn't even with that guy that long it has made me really anxious in my current relationship despite knowing my boyfriend is not like that so I don't know what 16 times would do.
I wouldn't say it's abuse, perhaps a little lack of privacy but if you flirted with someone before and he has had all these bad past experiences it makes sense for him to act this way.
The only thing I will say is that it does seem unfair to me that he goes on your phone and yet won't let you on his, just be careful of that. Perhaps you can ask why you can't check his phone too since he does with yours.0