How to confront my boyfriend?

I feel like my boyfriend is using me. We have sex, he kicks me out says it's late, asks me to drive him places, asks me to borrow things that he could easily buy. I brought him out before for brunch and he took me out to the movies once during one of our first dates and that's it. One time we were kissing and he wanted to have sex and I told him I had to leave since it was late and he said he would force me if I wouldn't, and looking back I should've just walked out, but I didn't. Then another time he got mad at me because we were having sex and I just wasn't into it and so it didn't happen. That time it was the day after my birthday and he didn't even wish me a happy birthday so I was hurt and not in the mood. He said he would make it up to me the next day by going to dinner. Then he calls me and tells me that he lost the reservation so I said that's okay. It's been three months since and we still haven't gone out for dinner. We've been together for almost a year now and I feel stuck. I don't want to break up with him, I'd like to work this out. I got him a gift for Christmas and Valentine's and as of yet he hasn't given me anything, I'd be happy if he took me out for a coffee or even got me a pack of gum, like anything small. Also, lately he's actually been hanging out with this girl from work saying she's his friend. How can I confront him without seeming needy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • NO CONFRONTATION
    use this opportunity - the new gal distraction/temptation
    his shopping for a better replacement
    to JUMP SHIP and save yourself!

    You cannot change (confront) a mismatch "romance"
    all you've written = loser, lazy, sex-only dysfunctional relationship with a user/liar
    and the worst part = no time spent on shopping for HIS replacement!

    Believe me, once you ditch this guy and keep him from hanging around your neck like an albatross, immediately you'll begin to see better candidates for The One... that treats you x10 better than your simple wishes posted here

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "He lost the dinner reservation"? That's a new one. I'm having a tough time finding why you'd want to stay with him at all. Just confront him. It doesn't make you appear beady it makes you appear as though you deserve respect in the relationship. But again, I'm not even sure that's worth it. Sorry but he seems horrible.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Wow I can't believe you put up with even half of this. If you were my sister, I'd beat the fuck out of this guy. Run away fast. You can and will do way better.

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    • To be honest one of my parents was abusive and I told him about this and for the longest time I never spoke to guys or dated. He's my first actual relationship and I thought he was a nice person. I kind of feel like I'm ugly or something. I wish I get enough strength to just end it because it's just depressing me.

    • This guy is toxic and he'll only drag you down with him if you keep hanging around him. You don't have to settle for him or for any of this. You should be with someone who makes you happy and that's sure as hell not this clown. So stop wasting your time with him when you could be out there finding someone better instead.

    • Ok you were raised by an abusive parent - now it makes sense. You don't really know anything else.

      Well take it from others - the relationship you're in? It's abusive and it's only going to get worse. That guy is fucking garbage.

      My advice to you would be to leave him and change your number. I'd also seek out counselling to help you sort out your unhealthy understanding of relationship dynamics. You deserve better.

  • He sounds like a scrub; if you don't love him, leave him. You could do a lot better or worse than him, but sticking around that situation seems like a waste of time. I understand that you don't want to break up with him, but regardless of whether it's because you care about his feelings, or you're just really hopeful for improvement, he doesn't care about you the same what that you care about him.

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    • Hi, I actually really do love him because he used to be sweet. He said how he respected me and thought I was beautiful. I was at his place last night and I noticed there are three condoms missing. Now I don't know if I should just stop talking to him or talk to him about the situation. He's moving away soon too and he said he's done with the town and when I asked him why he's distant and seems less interested he said it's because he's been busy with work. I feel like such a fool because we had so much in common and he seemed so genuine wanting to talk to me and see me almost everyday.

  • yes he is using you just for sex. kick him to the curb and find someone who actually wants to be with you as a person not just for the sex

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  • "I've been thinking, and I realized you've been a total dickass douchebag to me the whole time. Don't talk to me again. Bye"

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  • I think deep down inside you know you need to walk away from that fuckwit.
    You will be so much better off without him, he is pissing on your leg and telling you it's raining.

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  • He is using you 100% and it was very funny when you said he kicks you out after having sex with you hahahaha :-D
    I hope you dump him as you are already dumb enough to not do it early

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  • Leave him as fast as a sports car.

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  • You don't you pack up your shit and leave.

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  • Just don't even tell him anything. Just stop talking to him and let him wonder what happened to you. He doesn't respect you so why respect trash like that.

    Burn those bridges

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  • That boyfriend displays psychopathic tendencies. Get away NOW, run and never look back. He is doing more than use you, he is controlling you as if you were a possession, , not a girlfriend. RUN girl, RUN.

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    • I've been thinking about the psychopathic tendencies as well. I used to wonder if he's trying to get rid of me by scaring me or if he's naturally like that. He would tell me he's addicted to certain types of videos and he knows a lot about serial killers and that's putting it mildly. Maybe I felt like I was stuck but everyone is right I need to stop this. The cheating part hurts the most and he doesn't seem to have feelings at all

    • This man is sick in his head, get away, make yourself safe. He will, kill eventually, make surte it is not you when he does it. Go, get safe.

  • Tell him to fuck off, he is just using you!

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  • Just be direct.

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What Girls Said 14

  • "I don't want to break up with him, I'd like to work this out."

    WHY? What possible reason dobson have for not wanting to break up with this loser? He treats you like garbage and LITERALLY THREATENED TO RAPE YOU.

    What the actual fuck?

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  • http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/h27.gif
    Dump him.

    Stop holding on to a person who has let go of you, move on.

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  • Honey don't waste your time confronting him just DUMP him.

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    • Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I feel so stupid for letting it go this far and wasting so much time. I honestly thought it would work out, but the cheating part is what hurts the most because I gave him everything he wanted. I'm getting my stuff and I'm just leaving. Thank you for your reply, and thanks to everyone who answered I needed encouragement to do this.

    • Good for you!!! Don't feel stupid, just learn from it and know for next time. That's all you can do. I'm happy for you and hope you find all the good things you deserve!

  • If you don't know how to break up with him, get someone in your life who cares about you to pass the message on. He threatened you, he's selfish, and he doesn't help build you up to be a better person. You can't get away from him quick enough!

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  • He's such an asshat I'd say that he is almost abusive because he forces you to hate sex and he's a bum because he's taking all your stuff and giving nothing back

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  • "Bye Charlie, you've been a total selfish and arrogant jackass and I think... no I know, we're over".

    I don't know where i got Charlie from

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  • DUMP HIM!

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  • Dump him, he sounds like a jerk.

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  • Nah... move on

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  • That's nice

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  • This guy does not deserve you! He doesn't treat you good and he doesn't notice the things you do for him. I honestly think you shouldn't be with him anymore just tell him he doesn't value what you do for him and you deserve someone better than him, there are a lot of other guys out there who will treat you much better and make you their priority! Let him know how you feel and just tell him the truth, you don't deserve to be with someone like him who doesn't appreciate you.

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  • Get out of this relationship! he's controlling, abusive and possibly a cheater... Find a better guy. Dump him!!

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  • It won't be worked out... he's using you and has no remorse about it. Guys and girls can't be just friends sooner or later they are hooking up. Its best to just move on. I wish my situation was as easy as a decision as yours. Not that its easy for you but for me thats an easy decision. Leave

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  • Maybe you haven't realized it yet, but this guy is dragging you down and making you settle for less and less each time. Soon you will lose all of your dignity if you don't walk out.
    He's not treating you as if he loved you or respected you, not even as a friend. Drop him like a hot potato.

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