Instead of working on themselves, why do people hop into relationships?

I've never understood that about people who tend to be desperate/serial daters.

Instead of working on your insecurities, clinginess, and immaturity, you think finding "the one" will make your life complete?

Because you can't be alone, you latch on to the first person you meet for a date?

Whats the logic in all this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because if we all wait until we're fixed no one will ever get in a relationship and the species will be extinct.

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    • I guess I should clarify to what extent fixed...

      I can from an abusive childhood, so I've had to relearn a lot of things about myself and the world with the help of my therapist. I was choosing men just like my crazy mother until I realized I needed to change.

      It's people who never see that they need help. People who never want to be alone so that they can actually examine themselves and their life. People who want to ignore their issues and find someone to engage in madness with.

    • Yes, I see your point. I have known people like that, who almost seem to need someone to distract them from their own issues. But not everyone is able/willing to commit to changing, even if it is to their (and their eventual SO's) benefit.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Survival? I don't know, I've done it. And I regret it, but I've learned my lesson. I think people just like to experience it themselves, and then get hurt, and learn by their own mistakes, rather than listen to someone else that did it and warns that they shouldn't do it because it's a bad idea. They probably think they won't get another chance, "Maybe this is the only person that will ask me out?" kind of mentality. I've done it, and it was stupid. People are stupid.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The logic (from what I've seen and done research on [in my head]) is that these serial daters believe being alone will give have past traumatic experiences show up in their lives. In most cases, serial daters tend to have had a bad past, one that they cannot get over, and tend to just date people in hopes that it'll at least close the wound for a bit. This usually leads to drugs, because they tend to get into the wrong crowds at times. Not sure if I used the correct phrases... I'm tired.

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  • Because a lot of people in this generation tend to blame other people instead of looking inward and trying to fix their flaws

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What Girls Said 1

  • It could be that some people may feel like they have nothing to work on and/or they feel that being in a relationship will help them solve their issues.

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