How to build the ultimate confidence and self-esteem?

Hello, I do have a low self-esteem and a lack of confidence and this has been affecting negatively my life in all its aspects.

Thus, I badly want to overcome those issues and in order to do that I will more than happy to receive some feedbacks from you on what I should do.

In case some personal informations may help you to determine what will help me best, feel free to ask me those questions.
Some personal informations : I'm 22 years old, pursuing an accounting degree, I never had a girlfriend, and I'm bad at doing female friends due to my anxieties.

Hoping that you will provide some help which I highly value.

Best regards,

John,

Updates:
Any kind of your help will be highly appreciated, thank you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You can't exactly build it. But you can try to control what you already have. First step would be to step out of your comfort zone.

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    • I am trying my best to step out of my comfort zone, but always there's the invisible barrier that prevents me from doing so. For example, if I want to talk to a girl there are millions thoughts that crosses my mind and I end up doing nothing. Thus, looking at her from afar instead of eventually building a connection. That's one example out of many more unfortunately.

What Guys Said 1

  • Ok well first off you need to start telling yourself positive affirmations. People who have low self-esteem keep telling themselves negative things like 'im so nervous', 'im not good enough for her', 'i dont know what to say'. If you keep telling yourself these things it puts you in a negative frame of mind which is self-destructive bc you want to be the opposite. So instead when you start having anxious and nervous feelings, dont fall into that negative thought pattern. Keep telling yourself positive things like 'i feel good today', 'i can talk to this girl', 'its not that hard'. You can even listen to music to put yourself in a positive frame of mind to have that confidence and to keep a positive frame of mind.

    So this is all internal things you tell yourself, but you can also improve your body language and facial expressions as well. So have a confident stance and head held high. Have a confident relaxed look on you face and smile at the right times. By having good confident body language it will make you feel a lot more confident just by doing that. Its a 2 way connection in your brain so if you tell yourself to be confident you will behave more confidently and have good body language. Also having good confident body language will trick your brain into thinking you are confident and you have a good internal thoughts. So think confidence, behave in a confident manner and you will be confident and improve your self-esteem. If you dont believe me you can try a little exercise. Go to a mirror and just start smiling at yourself. You will feel a lot happier just by smiling at yourself and is a good way to start your day with confidence. Hope this helps.

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    • Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it.

      It is exactly what I'm going through, having negative thoughts all day long. I am trying to replace those thoughts with positive ones however it doesn't work out unfortunately.

      Nevertheless, your little exercise was effective to be honest. I felt less heavier after doing it.
      Thank you.

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