How can I overcome my fear of approaching girls?

I have this huge fear of talking to girls that i dont know or find attractive. For som reason i feel like im bothering them and that they will see me as a creep if i approach them. Also whenever i like a girl i have a fear of talking to them because of my looks (which aren't that great) and because i tend to stutter sometimes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are a nice looking guy. The fact that you care that you might be bothering them suggests to me that you are a nice guy too since you are considering how you may affect others. You are exactly the kind of guy most women WANT to meet. If you come across as nervous and stutter, most reasonable people would just assume that you don't do this often and as a woman it is flattering to know that a guy overcame his fear of approaching women because his desire to talk to you was bigger. One thing I can suggest is to build up your skills in reading body language - work out which girls are paying you attention, if they keep looking at you then they are interested in talking to you, if they smile when they have made eye contact with you (even if they look away afterwards) then they are interested in you. Keep your approach simple and friendly, don't try to impress them - the main thing is to just come across as the genuine nice guy that you are, that is what they want. During a conversation, look for cues from her whether she wants to keep talking or not - if she is making eye contact, seems interested in what you say, is asking questions, starts standing closer, seems happy, then she wants to keep talking. If her answers become short, she starts looking around the room for an escape, then make an excuse why you have to leave and exit. The guy labelled a creep is annoying because he is one or more of the following: drunk, says something inappropriate such as sexually suggestive, touches her without any regard for her feelings, ogles her hungrily (especially staring at her body parts), follows her. So don't do any of those things and she won't see you as a creep. Anyway, I don't think you have anything to worry about, you just need to build your confidence. One good activity for you to do might be to go somewhere where you can see guys approaching girls and watch the interaction - how he behaves how she reacts and try to guess whether she is into him or not.

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    • @AstroZombie93 that's what I'm telling you about , they tell they like kind guys and they gonna make you too hard to give you little at the same time they would be so easy to who ever treat them like whores
      @anonymous I don't mean you specifically, I bet your honest like all girls, but when it comes to being sub to a dom man you all love the surrender , most girl enjoy being a sex toy to a stranger

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    • Most of respect and be easy to whoever degrade them, and be hard with who treat them nice

    • @Dimmu Yes some do - I guess that is the difference between girls and women.

What Girls Said 1

  • a lot of guys have this fear. I've seen it floating around heaps on this site.

    anyway, you need to understand that we aren't as busy as we may appear most of the time, ESPECIALLY if we're on our phones. you just have to make that call yourself. if she looks really busy, save it for another time. if the time and place is conversation-fitting then go for it.

    just stay relaxed, smile and say hello. if she's sitting somewhere, ask if u can join her. introduce yourself, and let her know why you've singled her out. just remember that some of us girls tend to wonder if you've just been going around to multiple women throwing lines, so make her feel special, but not in a creepy way.

    something like 'hi, I'm ____. do you mind if i join you? i hope you don't think i'm strange or anything, i just thought i'd offer you a bit of company =] so... [ask whatever you'd like to know about her] '

    something like that. lastly, i really wouldn't recommend asking for her number at the end of this conversation. other girls don't mind, but personally, id just think you only came to me for my number, so offer to see her some other time. agree on the time and place, and if you're lucky, she'll see u again =]

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well first you need to put yourself in a more positive frame of mind. If you think you will be creepy and bothering them then you won't perform at your best. You need to tell yourself that they will enjoy the interaction and will want to talk to you bc you are awesome.

    Yes you might be right that some girls will not want to be approached and girls will shoe that in their body language. So if a girl has her arms crossed, avoiding eye contact or even turning her back on everyone then obviously this girl doesn't wan to be approached or is in a bad mood which you will probably want to stay away from anyway. If however she has more open body language and looks friendly then she will be more open for an approach.

    But before an approach its always good to warm up the potential interaction since cold approaches can be startle women and catch them off guard which makes them uncomfortable. You want to make them as comfortable as possible bc they will also experience nerves when you talk to them. So before you even approach her you can maybe catch her glance and have good eye contact with her, smile, wave or some gesture. Just something to get her attention and if she responds positively like smiling back, or blushing, or maintaining eye contact. Then this means she would be okay talking eith you and also gives her time to absorb the situation so she feels more comfortable talking to you. If she gives a negative response like turning away, or a negative facial expression then you know she wouldn't be open to a convo with you and its no harm done and you move on to someone else without having to go through a harsh rejection.

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  • Treat them like sluts, they like that and would run after you , although they say they wanna be treated nice
    Treat them like sluts it statistically work , but u wouldn't get a ltr material
    If u can't treat them bad, stay away from their game, you'll get ur perfect match with time

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    • You know its true what you're saying. I', m currently ignoring this girl that rejected me and she still stares at me lol

    • Many girl I have treated bad , they were treating me like a god, after I grew up and decided not to treat anyone bad, the very same girl used me , and lost interest
      I just don't wanna be apart of that game anymore

  • Go to the gym get pumped up some you will gain confidence and then you will be ready to make your move

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  • Just have to practice man. Every single day. Once you learn to be more comfortable, you'll learn to be self amusing. You'll stop putting attachment on what they think of you and only do it for just entertaining yourself.

    When you're selfish in that way, they'll find it amusing and fun as well.

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  • Here are some ice breakers that are harmless to ask a girl www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24558-my-compatibility-questionare

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  • Work on yourself and get a bit more confidence and self respect. U sweeten her day not the other way around so she appreciates to talk with u.
    Something very useful:
    Behave confident and move in a normal speed and pay attention to your surrounding. Keep your head up and keep eye contact with people. End it by slowly looking to the side and not to the ground. If u have eye contact with a nice girl just smile a bit (not like a creep) and (additional) wink/wave her / raise your glass in her direction or do something which causes an response. It will booste your confidence to talk with her if it is a positive one like smiling back or something. Nothing really lost when she ignores it just don't talk with her then.

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    • *if u get a positive response by the girl

    • Lol I just read that someone else wrote the same lol

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