When we are apart I feel forgotten?

The guy I am seeing goes to uni 3 hours away.
I see him on weekends & talk to him during the week.
He has been less affectionate recently but i think he has been upset because his grandfather is sick.
We spent the weekend together and he still kissed me, cuddled me, made plans for next time etc.

But then he goes back to uni and doesn't message for most the day. When he first left he told me he couldn't stop thinking about me there & messaged me multiple times a day. Now that he has started to settle in I feel very separate from his uni life & even though he says he won't forget me i feel forgotten on a daily basis.

I can't bring this up with him because i have been bringing stuff like this up too much lately & started feeling like i was being too much.

What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to realize that the vast, VAST majority of LDRs fail, and for very good reason - relationships are about BEING TOGETHER, and when you are LD, you can't be together. It's easy to feel neglected, and to grow apart, and to find someone else to ease your loneliness.

    When he is at school, he needs to focus on school and all of his responsibilities there. You are being unreasonable expecting him to message you a lot (meaning, more than once a day IMO) during the week. He is BUSY, and needs to FOCUS, and sometimes, just to relax and be alone and lazy. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or doesn't think about you, but he can't validate you constantly.

    If you can't handle the reality of the situation, then the right thing to do is to break up now, and agree that when he's done with school, if the two of you are back in the same place and you're both single, you can try dating again. In the meantime, neither of you should "wait" for the other - live your lives like you'll never be together again, because there's a good chance you won't be.

    It's not fair or right for you to expect him to do more than he's doing, so either find a way to be okay with it, or end it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a guy friend who's going through some stuff and isolated himself recently. Guys don't like showing emotion usually so I think they try to handle it alone. You said his grandfathers sick so that could be stressing him out. I'd ask him if he's okay and let him know you're always there if he needs someone to talk to. I found that you kinda need to be straight up with guys like that or else they won't know. Just remember that he needs you as much as you need him. He just doesn't wanna seem needy


What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 1

  • He's focusing on school. Don't be so needy.