I know that guys like the "chase" or like to be the one to ask the girl out first, etc. And I think that's fine for a first or second date or whatever. When is it ok (if ever) for a girl to start asking a guy out on a date? Third date? Fourth? After they've been dating for a month? 2 months? Once they're exclusive with each other?
Also, at what point can I stop with the "guy pays for everything," routine? I know that a lot of guys feel uncomfortable when they can't pay for dinner so I've been letting them on the first or second date, but I want a time to come when I can return the favor! After all, it's 2016 and that's kind of nuts if a woman can't ever pay for dinner. (I mean, what are you supposed to do if you get married, let the guy be the breadwinner? I'm just saying if you take this "he pays" rule too far, it gets absurd.)
Depends. Do you want to date a beta male? Do you want to be the strong one in the relationship who wears the pants? If so, then first dates it's okay.
If you want an Alpha male, let him pursue you. Also keep in mind that most guys aren't turned off when a girl asks them initially; it's doubtful they would ever say no to that and I'm sure they'd be flattered. But that's just the thing; they'd rarely say know because it's most likely a free hookup. A guy who is pursuing you is a clear sign he actually is interested in you for more than a hook up.
But, after you've been out a few times, I think it's good to put in the effort to make plans and dates as well. It's also always nice to offer to pay... even on the first date. Guys like that gesture because it let's them know you aren't expecting them to pay all the time... even though they most likely will in the beginning. I've known my husband pretty much since we were 6, and he still pays for our dinners. I usually pick up the tab for brunch or lunch.
It really isn't so much about gender roles, but psychology of the sexes. Each of our brains is wired differently, and that plays a role in how we "date". Guys paying is the equivelent of them going out and hunting all day and spoiling their women with their hard efforts; it has nothing to do with women somehow being weak or unable to provide. It's just that paying is one way guys show they value their woman.
Each realtionship is going to be different based on however you want it to be. If you want to be the breadwinner and your husband doesn't, no one cares. If both of you want to make an equal salary, no one cares. If the man is the primary breadwinner because he wants to, no one cares. Do whatever you want; there are no rules to YOUR life choices. If you don't want to pay then don't. If you do want to pay, then do.
If you ask a random guy out, he probably says no - but you actually have better odds than a guy asking a random girl out. Relatively few guys are bothered in principle by women asking them out, and you dont' want those guys anyway.
When can you stop the 'he pays' deal? - on date 1, you offer, if he says he wants to pay, let him, unless you're having an awful time. - if you liked him, and he paid date 1, you ask him out on date 2, and insist you get to pay. If he protests, you can ask him if he feels nervous like you'll expect him to earn his dinner? - keep roughly alternating after that. Dates don't have to cost the same either, the important thing is the planning and the gesture.
Please, assert yourself whenever possible. It drives me crazy when I have to be the one initiating everything or else the relationship dies.
My issue is being self-less and a giver. Like most men, I take pride in providing. However, I've come across enough evidence to realize that women take advantage of this nature. So reciprocation is key to separating leeches from the true lovers.
I'm literally in a situation right now where the relationship could completely tank if I don't initiate the next text. The way she's behaving, I don't even want to because she doesn't seem enthusiastic enough (purely based on text).
Well, first of all not all guys like the chase, there are men who are incapable of doing the task of pursuing the woman. Yes, a woman can ask a guy out when she believe it's the right time, there is no universal concept for this as such. That depends on her judgement and her understanding of the situation.
It's not like guys have to pay for dinner, even women can do that if they want.
There's no right time to ask a guy out. Go ahaed and do what you feel doing, if you feel like going out with him just ask him.
I always offer to split the bill on the first date and see how he takes it. I don't see why a guy should be offended because I'm trying to pay for myself. But if he really wants to pay then sure, I'll pay next time :) Sometimes it's nice to do something for the people we care about, and offering them dinner is one of those things