Guy #1 About a month now I've been seeing this guy who is sweet and knows what he wants with me. He has a good job but still haven't gone on date. He is not financially stable. But he treats me really well. He says he wants to create a life with me. Guy #2 Is an ex boyfriend who came back into my life. He told me he loves me and wants to create a life with me. Even said wants to have kids. He works for government so he is well grounded. But the pass times we've tried.. we would sleep together then he would disappear, then contact me again. He says he won't do that anymore. He is all i ever wanted since i met him. But im scared that if he disappears again. And i lose the guy #1 for him.
Guy #1: what do you mean he's not financially stable? Are we talking about debt? Just hasn't progressed high enough in his career yet? Is bad with money? Isn't motivated to find a higher paying job?
Those are important questions that lead to different answers. It's also a huge plus if he is treating you like a queen... not sending mixed signals... is clear with his intentions... and follows through with what he says.
Guy #2: Why did you break up initially? Guys who truly value you and make you a priority in their life, don't break up with you and don't disappear on you or send mixed signals. Are you joking that he's all you ever wanted... yet he's disappeared on you? What kind of ass-hole treats the love of his life like she's an option?
I've played that game before, and my husband does work for the government. He would never in a million years treat me like an option even though his job is demanding. When he's deployed overseas, he still makes an effort to text me "Good Morning" even though it's late his time... and he still makes an effort to tell me "Good Night" EVERY DAY he's gone.
I would REALLY make Guy#2 prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he really wants you, and I wouldn't pay attention to the whole "I want to have kids". Did he say he wanted them with YOU? Lots of guys say that because they think that's what girls want to hear. Don't let your infatuation with him cause you to make a decision you'll regret. Put it this way: if he was the most hidious man physically and didn't have the greatest job... would you still enjoy every minute with him? Because husband material is the man who is your best friend, fights with you like a sibling, loves you like you'd never imagined and treats you like a queen.
You can't be dating Guy 1 as you haven't been on a date with him. Guy 2 isn't a date either as he is an ex boyfriend. If Guy 2 dumped you, don't trust him and don't even contemplate taking him back. Why the hell would you give someone like him a second chance?
Set some challenges for both like get financially stable, prove that they are really ready to move forward if ether one really is. And make the deadline soon. The one who actually starts moving the most productively is the one you go with.
As being a parent or being in a relationship has costs and perks.
Well you arnt over your ex obvioualy, so dont choose guy 1. Its unfair to you and him. If i were you, id either try with guy 2 again (usually doesn't work from experience ) or focus on yourself for a while and movr past guy 2
As far as guy #2 is concerned, the two of you already tried a relationship and it obviously didn't work, the chances of it working this time are pretty slim and although it may seem like a great opportunity I personally wouldn't go there again regardless of how much I wanted it because history is likely to repeat itself. You could give guy #1 a chance, however if you are having second thoughts about him, don't do it because it won't be fair on either of you. It might be best to not chose either but I'm not really in a position to tell you the right choice because only you know what's right for you. Have a very good think about it and I hope it all works out for you