I am dating two guys... I need to choose one. ?

Guy #1 About a month now I've been seeing this guy who is sweet and knows what he wants with me. He has a good job but still haven't gone on date. He is not financially stable. But he treats me really well. He says he wants to create a life with me. Guy #2 Is an ex boyfriend who came back into my life. He told me he loves me and wants to create a life with me. Even said wants to have kids. He works for government so he is well grounded. But the pass times we've tried.. we would sleep together then he would disappear, then contact me again. He says he won't do that anymore. He is all i ever wanted since i met him. But im scared that if he disappears again. And i lose the guy #1 for him.

Updates:
Which should i choose?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guy #1: what do you mean he's not financially stable? Are we talking about debt? Just hasn't progressed high enough in his career yet? Is bad with money? Isn't motivated to find a higher paying job?

    Those are important questions that lead to different answers. It's also a huge plus if he is treating you like a queen... not sending mixed signals... is clear with his intentions... and follows through with what he says.

    Guy #2: Why did you break up initially? Guys who truly value you and make you a priority in their life, don't break up with you and don't disappear on you or send mixed signals. Are you joking that he's all you ever wanted... yet he's disappeared on you? What kind of ass-hole treats the love of his life like she's an option?

    I've played that game before, and my husband does work for the government. He would never in a million years treat me like an option even though his job is demanding. When he's deployed overseas, he still makes an effort to text me "Good Morning" even though it's late his time... and he still makes an effort to tell me "Good Night" EVERY DAY he's gone.

    I would REALLY make Guy#2 prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he really wants you, and I wouldn't pay attention to the whole "I want to have kids". Did he say he wanted them with YOU? Lots of guys say that because they think that's what girls want to hear. Don't let your infatuation with him cause you to make a decision you'll regret. Put it this way: if he was the most hidious man physically and didn't have the greatest job... would you still enjoy every minute with him? Because husband material is the man who is your best friend, fights with you like a sibling, loves you like you'd never imagined and treats you like a queen.

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    • I see that guy #1 works at a jail.. but says doesn't have money to take me out.. because of all his debt. Eventhough he treats me like i wanted, his financial problems is a turn off.

      Guy #2 he is a hard guy to get words out of. His work tough down here in the border but he replies an hour or hours later sometimes days. I don't know if i should understand his job. Or he is just not interested as he says he is.

      Now that im reading all these opinions, maybe i shouldn't talk to either.

    • I think neither option. Don't settle for crumbs just because a guy shows interest in you. Just because a guy in interested in you, doesn't mean you should assume he's marriage material. There are PLENTY of options out there.

      I'm sorry, but don't even bother with a guy #1 who doesn't have his financial shit together because it will end up costing you. You need to date a man who is smart with his finances and he doesn't seem like he's in a position to be dating anyone at the moment. Relationships are expensive.

      For guy #2, you don't need to understand his job. He has the same 24 hours in a day as we all do, and it takes TWO SECONDS to send a quick text to let you know you're on his mind. A guy that values you beyond simple interest, is not going to wait that long to contact you because he's not going to want to risk some other guy swooping in and taking his place. I honestly think he's stringing you along because he's treating you like an option and not a priority.

    • You are right. I dont need either, so i will talk to them both. Wish me luck!

      Thank you!

What Guys Said 10

  • You can't be dating Guy 1 as you haven't been on a date with him. Guy 2 isn't a date either as he is an ex boyfriend. If Guy 2 dumped you, don't trust him and don't even contemplate taking him back. Why the hell would you give someone like him a second chance?

    Then I guess Guy 1 is who you need to focus on.

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  • Just be a decent person, tell them both that your dating someone else as well as them and trying to decide who you like, see which one sticks around. Then you don't even need to make the choice.

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  • Set some challenges for both like get financially stable, prove that they are really ready to move forward if ether one really is. And make the deadline soon. The one who actually starts moving the most productively is the one you go with.

    As being a parent or being in a relationship has costs and perks.

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  • You know better than anyone else when it comes to what you want. You tell me.

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  • No 2 wants sex. No 1 sounds good.

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  • Well you arnt over your ex obvioualy, so dont choose guy 1. Its unfair to you and him. If i were you, id either try with guy 2 again (usually doesn't work from experience ) or focus on yourself for a while and movr past guy 2

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  • If you need to ask that question, you shouldn't date either. If you would really be invested and interested, you would know who to choose.

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  • Neither... I hope they make the right choice and find someone who actually respects them.

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  • Listen to your heart and forget all the other facts

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  • You honestly don't deserve either

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    • Why? If i may ask

    • If you're dating two at once you don't deserve either. Girls who "play the field" are not well thought of.

What Girls Said 5

  • As far as guy #2 is concerned, the two of you already tried a relationship and it obviously didn't work, the chances of it working this time are pretty slim and although it may seem like a great opportunity I personally wouldn't go there again regardless of how much I wanted it because history is likely to repeat itself. You could give guy #1 a chance, however if you are having second thoughts about him, don't do it because it won't be fair on either of you. It might be best to not chose either but I'm not really in a position to tell you the right choice because only you know what's right for you. Have a very good think about it and I hope it all works out for you

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  • Choose guy #1

    If guy #2 really wanted you , he would prove it. I would hate to see you make a good guy suffer for a douche but hey , its your life.

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  • I wouldn't give guy #2 another chance - it's unlikely he's changed. Go with guy #1.

    And in response to other people, I don't think it's cheating or slutty at this stage - you're not in an exclusive relationship with either one.

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  • Guy #3.

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  • That's messed up. Why ask us who you should date? Date who you want to. Maybe even continue with dating both. But that's really really messed up.

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