We have gone a yr or 2 without seeing each other then he'll contact me out of the blue and we hook up. Most recent we started hooking up about a year ago after going almost a yr without hooking up. We have sex once or twice a week or every other week. I sleep over his place or he sleeps over mine when we do. Can he really have no feelings after all the yrs? Every time he comes around I fall for him all over again but never bring up the subject. We never discuss it. I need to ask him what he feels but don't know how to? I need to tell him what I feel. I think I'm scared to loose what we have if he doesn't feel like I do.
Most Helpful Guy
I never had a fuck buddy. But I would think that there has to be a little bit of feelings there other than just attraction especially if he can go over a year or two without you then when he misses you contact you. However I don't think there is enough feelings there to the point where this will blossom to anything more than what it is.1
Most Helpful Girl
Do you guys go on actual dates or just stay inside?
Honestly, I had a friends with benefits for 8 years. We would actually go to dinner or out with friends, etc, and then sleep together but this would be on and off, just like your situation. It got to a point where I decided not to wait for him and I married someone else. I've been married for 10 years now. My ex and I are still good friends and my husband has even become friends with him. So, yes, there were always deeper feeling there. He always loved me as his good friend and as his friends with benefits but he didn't think of me romantically.
BUT I've talked to him and his friends about this and if for some reason if I was ever single he would want to actually romantically date me. Because now we have deepened our friendship without the sex so it's on a more emotional level. (Of course, now I would never date him. Lol).
Are you asking if you can turn a long term friends with benefits into a romantic love situation? Yes you can. But it's difficult. The number one thing to do is to STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM. be his friend, hang out, support him, but do not kiss him, don't do anything physical. You need to develop the deep friendship side of it. He needs to see you as more than just sex. And when you stop sleeping with him then you'll suddenly be harder for him to get. He'll start to see your value more. But this whole thing cam take a couple of years to turn around.
Yes. You can change a friends with benefits to a romance but it will take a lot of time and will power. Good luck!1