Guys, Shy/awkward guy friend is acting hot and cold?

Guy friend who is shy/awkward (said so himself) and I have been flirting online for a long time but don't see eachother a lot due to distance. When we finally were able to meet up in person, we spent a weekend together. I expected that he would be more forward with his interest in me and that we might hook up as well... But he was very quiet/reserved and not much happened. Though he did nice things like pay for me, and walk me to the door and give a kiss goodnight, it left me feeling like maybe he wasn't that interested. I didn't bring it up and tried to look at him as more of a friend only afterwards. Recently we got into flirting a lot again and then somehow that weekend we spent together came up. I took the opportunity to mention how I sort of felt like he was uninterested in hanging out/just being polite at the time and he told me that I was crazy to think that but that was actually how he felt as well. He thought I was just being nice/polite to him out of obligation but didn't really have interest. We cleared it up that both of us were wrong to think that and then we made plans for the next time we see eachother. I thought that clearing this up would make it more clear about how he feels, but now it's a few days later and he's been really quiet/we haven't talked a lot. He said all of his relationships in the past were bad/toxic, so I was wondering if maybe this has something to do with him being difficult to figure out and what he is thinking? And why he might be talking less now?


Most Helpful Guy

  • no one is gonna read all of that haha. Reply to me in a couple paragraphs to sum it up and I'll give you my LEGIT opinion...

    • Lol. Understandable.

      Guy friend and I started flirting online. Met up in person- he didn't really make a move. I thought he wasn't too into me because of it. I ended up telling him that when we talked recently. He then told me how he had thought I was uninterested at the time/only being polite from obligation. We both said the other was crazy to think that, and we made plans to see eachother. Now he's been rally quiet lately and not talking a lot. Wondering why I thought we cleared it up and got closer and now he's talking less.

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    • Yeah, I think he is really scared of rejection. He has a hard time being serious too... Probably for the same reason. He always hints at being interested but never seems to follow through. I don't want to do the work for him though because I feel if he is interested enough he should make the effort. I'm just not used to the guys I'm interested in acting this way.

      Anyway, Thanks !

    • if you do like him, then just FORCE him to make the move.

      I was terrible when I was his age, but I eventually learned. Now... omg... I have no fear. I approach every single attractive, and semi-attractive girl I come across now. It's just a reflex now. Hell, I don't even know what I'm saying half the time... I just run on autopilot.

      Girls are my life now.

      Make him learn the hard way, it's the best and only way. He needs to grow some balls. Good luck.

What Guys Said 2

  • he must be a shy introvert, an introvert does not talk much or express their feelings with someone they are not comfortable with/or someone they haven't spend much time. give him some time so he can be comfortable with you.

  • You have pretty much answered your own question; He is shy and awkward, and that's why he is being shy and awkward.