I just don't get it. All the guys I date tell me I'm beautiful and smart and sweet and you know what I believe them. And yet they never seem to really want me. All I do is offer love and affection and all I get in return is lied to and ignored over and over again. It just hurts me so badly realizing again that when I'm the one texting first and having to strong arm the guy into seeing me it's because he doesn't want me.
It's like I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. I genuinely want to know what's so wrong with me so I can fix it. Why would a guy ask me to "be his" then just disappear? I'm tired of crying over another guy who doesn't love me back. How can you make a guy see you as a relationship girl not just a sex girl?
Most Helpful Guy
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Most Helpful Girl
Ok, so, I'm gna give you some advice that's basically the opposite of what everyone else is going to say.
Basically, I think you need to put LESS stock in yourself, up front, and be more skeptical of what dudes are throwin' at ya.
In general, I took the Groucho Marx approach to these kinds of things: "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
I mean, srsly... back in the day, if some dude started telling me how I was so "beautiful and smart and sweet", I would react in 2 principal ways:
1) I'd immediately mistrust him,
2) subconsciously, I'd respect him LESS.
Basically, there was a voice inside me, saying, "well, if **I** am this dude's idea of beautiful and smart and sweet, then, this dude's got some seriously low standards tho."
I mean, basically, everything has 2 sides, right?
This is the same attitude that's led me to constant self-improvement in just about every area of my life. I tend to phrase it more constructively, like this, most of the time:
But, it's basically the same thing.
In my case, those were VERY strong reactions. If some dude came onto me with shit like that, I'd actually get a bit nauseated -- literally. I swears to ya.
Instead, I liked what I still like now, which is a CHALLENGE. Verbal sparring, little games, trying to one-up each other (in a good-natured but competitive way -- NOT a spiteful way).
I mean, I swear I'm the most submissive female that God ever manufactured in His North American facility... but, that doesn't come out until you break me, basically. Until you beat me at mah own game.
Same with the affection and all that.
I'd suggest a little more healthy skepticism, a little more self-effacing aversion to "any club that'd have you as a member", and a LOT more fun little competition.0