Don't mean to sound one-sided and I know both genders have disadvantages in life but I think when it comes to time and commitment, we get affected more and have more to lose if not choosing carefully. For instance it's already hard (but not impossible) finding a man that wants to commit. If all we wanted was dating around and easy sex, that's easy but some of us don't want that.
If we do the whole living together as couple (I never done that and will never do it) while never talking about where this is leading or believing it will lead somewhere one day, the man can spend years of our time and then more than likely that relationship won't last. Then he walks away and we have to start all over. Still, those are years we'll never get back and there is a limited time for us to form a family.
Also, if not choosing right or thinking we had the right person and still get pregnant (assuming the woman decided to keep the baby), the guy can bail out if he's a total a jerk.
Yes, I agree... a woman has to choice wisely and carefully her partner
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There is some truth to that but not totally
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No, she doesn't have more to lose... totally disagree
Yes, it's risky but it's riskier never getting into a committed relationship. The key is to have a ring on your finger because until you are married he can walk away. My father always told me never truth a man who isn't your husband because he isn't yours yet. With that it implied don't live with another man, and even sustain for sex if you can because then they will want to commit to higher levels like marriage sooner. But love is a risk in general, run from it and you may be screwing yourself of happiness, being heart broken sucks but it's not the end of the world :)
You are talking from a strictly female fear perspective. What you don't understand is that its just as bad on the other side. The way i see it... just roll with the punches... you women try so hard to "commit" that you put pressure on the other side who are literally built NOT to commit... and y'all are crazy and bogus and occasionally stupid... but thats why we need one man, one woman. so when one is crazy, the other pacifies and when one is stupid, the other is smart. Its understandable not to want to be a single parent, its scary to have a kid... period... but you are being biased, i mean, women leave for the dumbest reasons, especially after marriage then they take HALF.. half of shit they didn't earn. trust me... BOTH sides have stuff to lose... but you are speaking strictly from a female perspective. here's my tip... dont put a leash on a guy... when you put a leash on anyone, their first thought is to "get loose" "break away" "leave"... im a former player and I've cheated... a lot... now im with a girl that give me my freedom to do whatever. Guess what... i Don't... probably cuz there's no leash... i created the line that i won't cross... she doesn't create it for me. people make a rule, you wana break it... You make the rule, You obey it. get my drift?
I don't know. Are you including the risk of losing children and half their assets and income? What exactly does a woman lose from commitment?
"Then he walks away and we have to start all over." Um. This is pretty much a gender neutral thing. Not sure why you're classifying it as female only. Your assertion is essentially that males are always the ones to initiate breakups. Further, exactly what do you measure as "commitment."? Marriage? In essence, you're saying that if a man doesn't marry you within, what, 6 months 2 years, then he's wasting your time?
The guy really cannot "bail out" if he's a jerk. The government mandates that he take responsibility for the child, whether he wants it or not. Unlike the female's option to get an abortion without any say from the father. She can opt out of parenthood if she so feels like it. The man cannot unless he changes his name and runs from the government. That'll land his ass in prison for not paying child support. This isn't something that the mother "can do", it's something the government mandates be done. The man or the woman have no choice in the matter.
The man can "decide how to spend his time." Exactly what on Earth do you mean by that?
I find most people (everyone I've ever met, including my parents) form families for subjectively the wrong reasons (which in what I've observed, leads to pretty much what most teens complain about. Kids who make poor choices. Kids who do poor in school. Young adults entering into University, severely unprepared and wasting time and money, etc.) OR they have kids by accident and try to step up (usually leading to very much the same thing).
I've come to my own conclusion that if I can't get a degree, and a good career, I'm likely not going to be able to prepare my kid to do it either... and I'll be leaving him/her up to random luck in how successful they are throughout their young life. I won't be very useful to them, as they struggle through life. How can they trust what I say, and how can I teach them? I personally call that irresponsible. I already know we can't rely on teachers sole to do this. I'd be setting a bad example.
I one day hope to achieve my goals (though I'm showing up late). I hope I meet someone who has achieved theirs, and I hope that's a person I could start a family with.
Straight out of high school though, settling into an average job. It doesn't inspire much, and what kind of people do I expect to meet that way (have met). People who equally don't aspire to much. Are these the kind of people I'd want to start a family with? I learned the long, hard way... no.
I never thought a good education would be so important in all these unexpected ways. But I didn't really have the parents to teach me that.
The first 2 points apply to men too. It's extremely difficult finding a decent woman that wants commitment. You either meet girls that just want sex, or those who want a relationship are complete dumbass.
Men would lose their time if the relationship doesn't work, and we also have a limited time to form a family. Our swimmers don't swim forever -_-
The only way women MAY lose is if they have a kid and they win custody but no alimony. Men can still win full custody (extremely rare though). If they both share custody, no one wins. If the woman wins full custody, she mot likely will get alimony, so she gets the kid plus the money, that's an absolute win.
I'm sorry, but no, when it comes to commitment, you're not the ones that have more to lose.
A man who makes a mistake in a relationship will continue paying for that mistake for up to 18 years after the breakup. He will inevitability get the short end of the stick in any divorce proceedings, and may end up supporting children that though legally he can see, the reality is that he can not.
yeah of course i agree, but same goes for men. they have to choose wisely as well. for example my friends dad, he is a really good, loyal, man but the first woman he married turned out be a drug addict who just wanted his money (he wasn't even that rich, but very giving so she decided to take advantage), and the second woman he married isn't on anything but she sure is crazy. he just stays with her because he's too old to be out looking for someone else. its not just women falling into traps, it goes both ways.
I believe both have to choose carefully and wisely, but I do see your point of view and agree with it to a degree. If you have children, it's harder for a women to get back on the saddle than it is for a man. You have some good points, but your argument is a bit flawed.
Not all men want just fun and there are plenty of women that do. Men and women can both leave a relationship even if they're married and we both have to start again. There are a bunch of single dads because women left.